Monday, January 5, 2009

How You Get Through Loneliness?

I am dumb struck by the topic to today's blog? I would love your comments on ideas for both adults and children on how to get through the lonely times of your life.

Today I drove Steve to the airport in Ontario, with two sleepy kids in tow, yes they wanted to go, I didn't make them and we saw Dad off to Indiana for what could be about 3+ weeks of work. No, he will not be coming home on the weekends, how I wish, then somehow this would all be so easy to deal with. We kissed him goodbye, dealt with Kailee's sobbing both curbside and in the car as we pulled away. Let's just say Mom couldn't hold back the tears any longer when half of your person and soul is being transported some 2500 miles away. I am no longer a whole but a half until Steve returns.

So you find yourself trying to come up with an answer of how is this family going to get through the next 3+ weeks without the most important part of our family here. Here is what I have come up with.

1. We take it in small steps. Baby steps if we have to, let's get through hour by hour or day by day at first, instead of seeing things as the big picture.

2. We resolve to say it's ok to cry. I don't want to tell my daughter that she shouldn't cry. I know she is crying because she misses and loves her father so much that to not be available every day is heartbreaking for her. I honestly don't know how military families deal with this, since they are usually gone for 6 months + at a time. How do you deal with just getting through a day?

3. We stay busy! Thankfully I homeschool Kailee and Caitlyn does a part time homeschool/traditional charter school Tuesday through Friday. So between school work at 8am, taking her sister to school, coming back, finishing school work, going to pick sister up, coming home, making lunch, off to track practice and hanging out for an hour and then driving back home, I have killed most of my day.

4. We sent Dad with a Webcam. Great idea that we never thought of before. My husband Steve bought me and my daughter Caitlyn for when she travels to Rhode Island and for the last year have been taking up space in our desk collecting dust. So we programmed Dads computer and now when he gets home at night from his job, we log into the computer and we get to see Dad. Doesn't take the place of hugs and kisses but it's the next best thing I guess. Are you believing it? Yeah, neither am I, but it does help!

5. We bought a family plan. Our cell phone provider has a plan that allows the kids to talk to Steve as much as they want when he can talk to them, that is when he isn't working. The sad thing is with the three hour time difference, our calls to Dad stop at 7pm our time, which is around 10pm his time.

6. Schedule busy things into our schedule. I have talked to my mom, my sister and every one else to find time in their busy schedules to help us accomodate filling the time.

7. Pray and go to church. I find myself whenever I am feeling lonely and sad, to stop and pray. I ask God to remove my sadness and grief and replace it with some form of joy! Today fortunately I can honestly say, God has managed my sadness. I haven't cried half as much as I thought I would (today), only when Kailee does. How can you not! God is managing this for me, cause I know, I would be a basket case! Praise God! Thanks God for always being there for me and never letting me down. We have church scheduled as well during Wednesday night and Sunday morning. It helps when we can pray with others for this to end.

If anyone else has any suggestions, I would love to hear from you. Until then, it's only 4:30pm for me, talking to Steve while he eats dinner for a while and then hopefully nighttime will come soon. Hello Advil PM!

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