Working with My Dad

As most of you know, the relationship with my Dad had developed over the years to allow us to work together on establishing one that would work well for us both without revisiting the past. I have to say out of all those years of not talking, God has worked a miracle.

You see growing up with my Dad had been challenging at best. Always feeling like I never measured up and trying so hard to make him notice me by making me proud really wore on my self esteem, especially when the results were not what I had hoped or half-hearted at best.

Time has a way of wearing down some of our harsh edges and being a Christian definitely helped me to foster a forgiving heart for him not measuring up to the way I believed he should have growing up. In fact its sad to see how many relationships remain broken because neither party wants to forgive the other or feel like they need to make up for all those short comings.

When I called my Dad it was to make things right again because God put the ownership on me, that I knew better as a Christian what should be done. Even though he was the parent, the idea of winning him over and restoring a relationship had to begin with me. In fact, if it didn't, well I got to tell God, "Hey, at least I tried." Yet it was that attitude that made all the difference in working on the restoration we have developed over the years now. Time has worked hard on both of us to make us more open to working out our differences instead of letting them come between us.

I actually LOVE the man my father is now more than growing up. Perhaps it is all that lost time that can't be made up for that has soften my Dad. I am more proud of him now, than before as well. Not only recognizing the sacrifices he had made by joining the Navy so young and even more so how he continues to serve his country as an Honor Guard for Riverside National Cemetery representing the Navy in providing honors to those that are finally going to their heavenly home.

God has also opened the doors to allow my Dad and I to collaborate on his talents as a wood worker and now I have the honor of selling his hand made walking sticks or canes in a replica .45 with a light or dark finish and choice of military emblems or none at all. Made by a veteran for veterans of the armed forces and providing him with a way to earn a little money on the side. You can see the wonderful canes below and if you know of someone who walks a lot, takes their dogs out for walks or just looking for a great gift to bestow upon someone in the military, I ask that you support him via my shop! If you want something a bit more custom, contact me at KatsCreations777@gmail.com and I'd be happy to work with him and you to make that an amazing gift for someone special. 

I was even able to capture my Dad on video talking about them and his time in the military.

Connections

We all need to be connected on almost every level in our lives.

Be it business connections or personal ones, you just never know when you will need someone's expertise in your life. That is why I firmly believe that you shouldn't burn any bridges if you can avoid them.

I have found that works especially well in my small business. From working with fellow peers, you just never know when someone will be able to offer their help. Be it simply from sharing your LIVE videos on their own page, to clicking on your "Like" and "Follow" option, no one would succeed without connections.

I've recently discovered such needs from wanting to have my business name adding to an apron I can use for craft shows or even in my LIVE Facebook videos and I discovered it through my husband's cousin who does amazing custom products featuring your logo or in my case just my business name in the font I have chosen to you. She is amazing, quick, professional and her work is top quality. You can find her shop on Etsy and it is QuiltinCin if you want to contact her for your business needs.

The other issue was working on a custom piece for a veteran who was a Silver Star recipient in the Marines. His wife wants a wreath for their Nevada home and she wants something with that honor on it. Let's just say searching high and low on the internet revealed NOTHING.

Nothing on Pinterest.

Nothing in Google's search engine.

Nothing.

No one had ever done one so there was nothing to get any ideas from.

I was simply going to use a star wreath frame and replicate the medal with gold and silver and add a United State Marine sign to it and work with it that way. They truly aren't concerned with the accuracy, but something to commemorate this high honor for his service. Thankfully two people rose to the challenge to help out. You know working with copy rights and trademarks can be tricky, but have discovered if it is going to be used for personal use and not sale, it is fine to make something custom. 

In fact, both ladies offer the high quality products I only want to use in my home decor and wreaths and also why I am sharing them with you. Cindy from QuiltinCin and Jane from Jane's Front Door Decor are two people I trust with 100% of my work. Not only do they work with you, but their products are beyond what you would expect. I've been working with Jane on quite a few of my wreaths and she also has an Etsy store you will definitely want to check out.

I'm always about trying to find ways to help others, through the connections I have made and let me tell you, these two women are amazing and I love to be able to help promote their own small businesses.

So just remember the people you do meet through your social media or just face to face, might just be that one critical connection you need when you find yourself in a challenge. Work hard to make those lasting connections. 

Submission in Marriage - The Missing Link to Happiness

Most people hate the word "submission," and whenever they hear it, they begin to get on the defensive. As we continue our study into developing a submissive spirit, some men might get excited by this and perk up. This is NOT the biblical application that some husbands are apt to toss in their wives face. Trust me I had such a man in my ex-husband. So what does the Bible really say about submission?

Ephesians 5:22 ~ "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."

If a man is going to memorize any Bible scripture, this is the one he loves the most and will have no trouble with remembering it. The wife will be the one who points out that he should love her, as Christ loves the church. That is absolutely true, but we need to look at what "submit" means by Bible standards and that is found in Ephesians 5:21

Ephesians 5:21 ~ "submitting to one another in the fear of the God."

Men and women are to have the same submissive heart to God in the fear of God. The first prerequisite is does your husband fear God? If you husband fears God, he will have a submissive spirit of God. He will be a man whom you will love being led by or submitted to. In fact the word "submission" will never come up in your relationship. He will be an awesome example of Jesus. You will want to do anything for him. You will have the most amazing relationship. You want to know why? Because you know he loves you. He would die for you and you know it!

It's not about forcing another to submit. That's not what the Bible's saying by any means. Submission in marriage is the missing link to happiness. If you want a happy marriage, it starts this way...The man is the example. The husband is always the pattern of practice. Let the husband submit to Christ in the fear of the Lord. Let the husband create a Christ-like spirit in that home. That woman will happily submit. There is no mandate of a woman submitting to a wicked man!

For a woman to sacrifice her faith, for her "ungodly, Christian husband," to entertain things that are a direct violation of Scripture because he told her to submit, that is completely wrong. In a Christian relationship, the fear of God, is to reign supreme. The awe and reverence to God, and that should first be exhibited in the husband who is the witness as a Christian leader in the home. That is where it starts. Tragically today, we hear, "Well the wife out to submit, I am the head of the house!" I doubt you are. We know that the word Islam means to submit. The difference is when the LORD asks to you submit, it's in a personal and loving relationship with God.

Remember as we continue this study on the three things we need to survive as believers in the last days is first, developing a thankful heart. Israel had failed to do that as we have been reading in Judges 10. When you begin to become unthankful, you begin to gripe and complain. You moan about everything and anything. Nothing is right. Everything is wrong. I can't take it anymore! That is the kind of age we are living in now. Everyone is pointing a finger at everyone else. When you don't  have a thankful heart, a cynical heart will develop in its place.

Developing a submissive spirit.

Judges 10:10-16 ~ "And the children of Israel cried out to the Lord, saying, "We have sinned against You, because we have both forsaken our God and served the Baals ( or allah today)!" So that Lord said to the children of Israel, "Did I not deliver you from the Egyptians and from the Amorites and from the people of Ammon and from the Philistines? (Yes). Also the Sidonians and the Amalekites and the Maonites oppressed you' and you cried out to Me, and I delivered you from their hand? (Yes). Yet you have forsaken Me and have served other gods. Therefore I will deliver you no more. Go and cry out to the gods which you have chosen; let them deliver you in your time of distress." And the children of Israel said to the LORD, "We have sinned! Do to us whatever seems best to You; only deliver us this day, we pray." So they put away the foreign gods from among them and served the LORD. And His soul could no longer endure the misery of Israel."

God goes down a list with the children of Israel showing them just how faithful He has been with them. They submitted to their worship system instead. He told them to go to their room. As they were marching off complaining, we see the tender heart of God. This is not the picture of the fire and brimstone God of the Old Testament God most people fear and think of when they think of God. When you are disobedient, you get called out. The children of Israel were bent on disobedience with God. God spanks those He loves. He knows discipline is necessary, but it always picks us up. He never crushes us or drives us away in doing so. The moment you remember God and turn around in repentance, He looks down on the misery of your heart and welcomes you back with loving arms. This is your first step to developing a submissive spirit, to acknowledge God. What a simple thing to do. Yet when pride is involved, it becomes a challenge to do so. We punish God when people hurt us. Don't turn your back on God.

The second thing that is required to develop a submissive spirit is that you need to love God. The children of Israel had taken their eyes off of God. When you love someone, you look at them. You watch them. We can see the love of God in His Word, especially in the New Testament. When you spend time with God in His Word, you begin to fall in love with Him. Humble your heart in front of Him. Read His love letter to you.

The final step in developing a submissive spirit is to surrender to God. We can't surrender to Him if we fail to understand His love for us. We can't surrender to Him unless we acknowledge Him. Life begins when we surrender to Him.

A.W. Tozar once said, "As Christians we no longer tell lies, we just sing them."

Think about it. When you sing your praise and worship songs at church, these are prayers to God. Do you really mean the words you are singing?

This is the key to those who want a successful relationship in any area of their lives from marriage to their work. You will never see a couple in love use the word "submit" in their relationship. Every woman looks for a man who will love them, lead them, is faithful to them. That's not truly possible unless a man loves the Lord to the fullest. If you want to find a true man, look for one who is in love with Jesus. The same applies to men, if you want a true woman, look for one who has a heart for Jesus. Look for those who fear the Lord with all their heart.

The Lasting Legacy

Sometimes there are moments in our life where as Christians, we've hit a dry patch. It may be a time where you sense that you aren't as close to God as you once were. Perhaps, you've skipped church a time or two due to obligations or illness and know, it's not such a huge deal. Perhaps it's been awhile since you've picked up your Bible and read more about God and what He has in store for you today through a Bible verse or chapter. Or it could simply be nothing more than the enemies attempt at making your chase your tail wondering where we left God or even, where God left us.

If you've been a believer for some time, you know God never leaves us. It is always us taking some time away from God, like telling Him, "Hey God, I'll be right back, wait right here for a moment okay?"

In storms that happen in our life, we should be running immediately to the throne room of God and unleashing our weapon against darkness through prayer. God loves nothing more than to be invited in, to be asked for help, and to just be a part of your life. Yet so often we turn away from God, thinking because He is all powerful, He could have done something, heal that person, save that life, restore a relationship, you fill in the blank.

Have you ever blamed God for something?

Perhaps an unanswered prayer? Or an answer you got you didn't like?

We all know that children model what they see and hear especially from their parents and siblings. So what are they hearing and seeing on your end?

Do they see a Mom or Dad, not afraid to gather the family around for prayer? Do they see you spending time with God in church, reading your Bible, praying, listening to praise and worship music?

Or do they see the impacts the world has on you? Struggling against the odds facing you, lashing out in frustration because it is all out of your hands? No matter how hard you try, you can't fix it?

I think the most important legacy for parents is to point our children to God. In EVERYTHING!!!

From the way we begin our mornings, how we handle our daily struggles, how we talk to our children when their world is coming undone, to how we show love for our spouses and family.

For me, as a parent, there is NO GREATER joy than seeing your children coming to God on their own terms. Asking Him to be a part of their life, praying to Him, spending time with Him and others in church, listening to praise and worship music and watching Christian appropriate content on the internet, books, or television.

It's knowing that no matter what our children face in life, God has their back 100%.

If they should die today, I know without a doubt, we'll be spending an eternity together in heaven.

There is no greater assurance that world can promise, that soothes a parents heart like a relationship with God. NOTHING!!!

No better job, better family, better bank account, better house, better ANYTHING.

It is all temporary. It will all be left behind when God calls us home. I couldn't ask for a better legacy to leave behind than an overwhelming amount of evidence that convicts me beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am a Christian. Sold out, body, mind, soul and spirit to my heavenly Father!! I hope that those that follow me, read my blogs and social media posts can see the same thing, if not, I call you on it to let me know.

The legacy I want to leave behind is a mom who loved the Lord, prayed for her family and friends, and shared all she had with everyone else. After all, the stuff in this life, isn't ours, but Gods. I hope I make Him proud with what He has given me, and most importantly that others follow not in my footsteps but His!

"And do not be conformed to this world but be ye transformed" . . .Romans 12 vs. 2

Gift of Love

It's been a true blessing to have time to spend with my family and even my extended in-law family who I refuse to acknowledge as in-laws. To me, they are my family as well.

I had the rare opportunity to spend Christmas with my Dad, Randy whom I hadn't spoken with for more than 17+ years. I have to say it's my fault because nothing kept us apart except our respective refusal to communicate with one another. On my end, I was afraid that the things my dad could say to me, to upset or hurt me, would always be there even though now that I am 50. That fear kept me from my Dad.

No more.

This was our first Christmas reunion, and despite the fact that all of my immediate family couldn't be there, it was enough for me to simply keep my promise and agree to spend it with my Dad.

I have watched, read and witnessed so many others watch their relationships with their own fathers slide into eternity, either through death, broken relationships or like me, simply neglect, I knew I didn't want it to continue. I had to make the first move.

And I am so glad I did.

God is the master of restoration. If you think for one moment there isn't anything He can't restore, I would challenge you to give Him a shot. You just might be surprised. Then again, you might be a whole lot like me, and fear that it might just work and you just might be happy for whatever amount of time the good Lord has given you both time to be together.

Watching my husband's father Bill, who seems to be a master at close calls, gave me much needed insight into the value of being with family.

All those childish arguments, hurtful words spoken in the heat of anger, runaway emotions that simply got the best of us, are the things keeping us apart. Time to lay those at the cross and allow God to handle the burden of carrying those things around.

In fact, the enemy would like nothing more than to keep you apart from your family. Especially apart from the family of God. Wouldn't you love nothing more than to wreck those plans?

I guess things really hit home for us when Steve's mom, Vera mentioned that she hoped this would not be her husband's last Christmas. It was important for all of us to simply be together. It's funny how some people will relinquish such control to others to keep them from experiencing the joy of being together with family and allow resentment to continue, rather than simply letting go and moving forward to the happiness and love that family can provide.

Nothing made Vera and Bill more happier this year than to see the entire Smith family together at Christmas. Nothing in my heart could ever remember a more fitting moment than watching it all come together like a Hallmark movie and being a part of it, not merely observing it. The memories created in those priceless family photographs is worth more than any amount of money we could ever hope to see.

In fact, the same could be said of my family Christmas. I loved more than gifts or cards, the memories I gained simply by watching my own children interact with their grandparents. Sharing intimate conversations they will carry with them forever. There is such wisdom and connection when families come together over dinner and I personally can't wait to spend time with them again, especially when we have no excuse why we can't get together because we all live within 5 hours of one another.

As for the gift I was super surprised to get from my Dad, well here it is.

That's right, my Dad who is super amazing got me a Turkey Fryer so next year, the hassle of trying to get the turkey done in time for dinner will NOT prove to be an challenge and will free up more oven space for other things. I especially can't wait to try a seafood clambake in this baby either. I'll make sure to send you pictures when we do!

Disposable Relationships?

I love it when things that I see day in and day out suddenly have new meaning. God's once again blessed me in the quiet of my morning watering today and I have to share what He showed me. During a recent storm we had and knew was coming a few days in advance, my hubby and I knew the winds were expected to be around 55-70 mph so of course that meant taking our plants off our pot shelves so they wouldn't tip over. There are two morning glory plants we have been blessed to grow this year that we couldn't take down because they have wound their vines along our porch pillars. My hubby suggested in taking some velcro and securing them around the pots to the posts. Sounds great right?

Only problem with a great idea is when you don't implement it. Not sure where we got busy but that great idea never materialized and of course that evening as the winds picked up their speed. Things look pretty great. But evil happens in the darkness when we sleep and that is just what happened. When we woke up and opened our blinds from our bedroom that overlooked our back porch, my hubby said, one of the morning glories didn't make it.

Not understanding his point, I asked him to clarify his statement. He pointed out that one of the morning glories had blown off.

"I thought we were going to put velcro on that? Didn't you do it?"

"No, but it's too late now. I think it's gone."

When we rushed out back, (I  know for a plant right?) but if you understood my new admiration for this beauties, you'd get my point with the concern.

There hanging by the vines were the morning glory plants still wrapped around the post but the pot and the soil were on the ground.

Not sure how long that poor plant hung in there but the roots were void of all remaining soil and the poor thing looked so bad.

We immediately went into rescue mode and got a bag of soil and the pot and began trying to re-pot this plant and water it. We secured the plant's pot to the post and while the leaves hung limp from the post, no new blooms were present that day.

To understand the importance of morning glories blooms are that they only bloom in the morning and are gone by mid-day. So to not see it bloom at all was downright disheartening. We prayed for the best since this was our best plant out of the two.

After two days of waiting, my hubby said he thinks the poor thing isn't going to make it. It went through too much. I wanted to believe in miracles and asked God to restore my plant if it was according to His will. I know God can literally do anything, even bring that poor lifeless plant back from the dead.

So this morning while I am watering it, I notice the leaves are still drooping and browning. The poor thing looks so miserable. I wondered if it was worth continuing my efforts. It would be so much easier to simply grab more seeds and begin replanting before the frost is due in. Ready for the eye opener now?

When I glanced up, I noticed on the plant, that two blooms have opened. Are you as excited as I was? I mean here I was, considering simply scrapping the poor thing and putting it out of its misery when despite all appearances it was making a come back! Two blooms is something to get excited for! It means despite everything on the outside, it was slowly working its way back to being a healthy plant again.

See where this is going? God moment!!

God showed me that too often we look at the relationships in our life as being like that plant. Sometimes they are vital and thriving, beneficial even! Then at other times, they look like my poor plant, dying a slow death. Even despite all the best intentions to nurse it back to health, it looks easier to put it out of its misery and replant it. How easy relationships become disposable when they no longer serve our purpose. They might not look the way we want them too, they might not be producing anything that is nice to look at any longer, or even they aren't simply worth the extra effort they need to thrive and survive. We are simply to busy to invest the time to bring them back and restore them.

What about you? Are you doing the same thing in your own relationships? How invaluable have people become in your life when they no longer do what you want or need them to do? How far are you willing to go to heal them? Are they even worth it?

This could be the relationship you have with your spouse. Suddenly things don't look as vibrant as beautiful as it did when you married. Stress has eaten its way into the very leaves of your plant, causing them to shrivel up and die. Perhaps it no longer looks as beautiful as it did when it first started growing. Perhaps the leaves are yellowing and falling off, perhaps it isn't producing new blooms. But deep down inside, life still grows. As long as you are willing to try, God is able to make ALL things new again. He is the great restorer and redeemer of life. We aren't meant to go through this life alone, thus the reason for my plants vine to intertwine and enable it to grow stronger in order to move forward.

Even the tiniest of vines need help to grow and move forward.

Isn't it worth the time and effort to try and save it rather than simply taking the approach of most and simply throw in the towel, and find or grow a new plant?

People are the most valuable thing in our lives. They are worth it and need our time and energy in order to thrive again. They are simply waiting for you to take notice and not give up no matter how long it takes. Trust in God and believe and like me, soon you'll look up and see life growing again. I encourage you today, before it's too late, take some time and work on those relationships. Pray over them and trust God to make a positive change in them.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?Though one may be overpowered,  two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to heed a warning." ~ Ecclesiastes 4: 9-13

There is simply a life within us all wanting to shine!

A Dying Tree

I have loved willow trees for as long as I can remember. Not sure if was since the introduction to Grandmother Willow from the Disney movie Pocahontas or those lazy mossy trees from pictures of the Louisiana Bayou's, but there seems to be something beckoning one to explore the world underneath the hanging branches.

That is why I was thrilled when we moved into our new home and found a Willow tree in our front yard. Just a baby one at that, but even more exciting was knowing when spring came, we'd have a place to hang out beneath the branches to find a cool place in the shade during the summer. In fact, my youngest daughter was already making plans to picnic underneath and spend time reading, or just doodling.

Well the spring came and soon the Willow began to really grow. Even though the high winds threatened to pull off all it's leaves and branches, it stood. It grew. Until this last week.

Very subtly the tree began to turn yellow. Just half of the tree. First I noticed it on a few lower hanging branches and then backing my car out of the garage I noticed that quite literally half of the tree looked yellow. It almost looked like two trees standing side by side. Not sure what was happening, I went to my computer and googled the symptoms.

Some said, the tree wasn't getting enough water. After the really hot heat waves we had been having, I thought that might have been the case. It literally seemed like someone was burning the leaves off the tree. The were dried out and crumbling.

More answers said, you might be overwatering it. Since we were already babying new grass that was coming in, we thought that might be the answer as well. But the lawn in places was dying as well. So that didn't seem like the likely cause.

The final two answers showed disease and borer insects like the Japanese beetle. In other words our tree was dying and it was letting us know. We immediately put a call into a local arborist but since it was late on Friday, we were told they could call us on Monday at the earliest. So we researched some more and discovered a remedy for disease and borer insects at our local home improvement store. One bucketful of this stuff was all it took to help heal the tree for the next 12 months. We should begin to see results in about a week or longer the label promised. So we applied the treatment and waited for the expert to show up.

He came by yesterday and said we did the right thing. It was a borer insect infestation that has been plaguing our tree for the last couple of years but the great news is that we caught it soon enough to save and heal our tree. We should see a completely different tree next year. We are excited.

Yet last night just before bed God showed me that my spiritual life lately is a whole lot like my Willow tree. It still has life inside, but it will die unless I spend some more time with God in each day. Lately I've been busy doing chores, errands and trying to manage a busy life with a traveling husband and all the responsibility has been falling on my shoulders. I've been trying too hard to manage it all on my own, while God is waiting to carry this load for me. I simply need to turn to Him and ask for help. I need to reestablish my relationship with Him again so that I can handle the little frustrations that come each day that tip the scales against me.

I have to remember it was never mine to handle alone. Life isn't meant to be dealt with alone. God stands waiting for us to simply turn to Him and ask for help. The symptoms are always there, we simply need to be observant enough to look at the type of fruit we are bearing. Are we impatient, tired, weak, angry, frustrated or confused? Sounds like you need some spiritual treatment much like my tree needed some. Otherwise the insects and disease of this world will eat away at you bit by bit until you bear these types of emotions in your life. Don't you want to be joyful, loving, kind, patient, in control, and at peace? Then perhaps it's time to spend some time with God and ask for Him to give you a complete spiritual overhaul before it's too late. Soon enough you'll be good as new much like my tree will be.

Galatians 5:22-23 ~ "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

Final Roadblock Removed!

Do you ever feel like God is calling you to do something? Perhaps it's even the worst thing He could ever ask you to do because you don't feel like it's supposed to be you to do it. What if it's repairing a relationship you didn't damage, could you pick up the phone, write a letter or even plan a face to face meeting to resolve the issue no matter how much it hurts?

I find that God can't move forward in our lives to bless us, to help us grow or to push us to become better people unless we are willing to submit 100% to His calling. Like I stated in my post yesterday, I want the 100-fold return. So when I asked God to show me any areas in my life he really wanted me to clean house on, he told me I had to make the first step in resolving the issue with my father. We haven't spoken in 17 years. It's not because either of us had issues with one another, we simply grew apart and for me, I personally believed, it just wasn't the time to have conflicts and unnecessary stress in my life. I also wasn't walking with Jesus back then, I kind of went my own way and resolved to pick God up again when I found the time.

Yet, when a young man I counseled back at the end of the summer just as he was heading back to college, we both had a god-like intervention. It was a tough time for both of us in what started out as simply friends getting together, but with God there are no coincidences. He had a plan that day. A plan to work a miracle of sorts in both our lives and for us both, it was a test of our wills, a test of faith, and a test of our commitment to Him. That was a huge turning point for both of us. We each had to resolve issues with our family. He did his immediately and for me, I did mine today.

The first person I really wanted to share it with was my friend and I got so much love and support from him. I felt it was time to call my dad. He had been inquiring about me and my family through my brother and even though I provided him with all my contact information if my dad wanted to reach out, he felt he needed to come from me. Well now, I know where I get my stubbornness from.

So lately, I've been tackling a study on faith with my husband. We've been learning how to walk closer with God's will for our lives and less than our own will. I've been learning how to put up boundaries to keep my inside and focused on today, learning to plant today seeds, and being a 100% committed to God in ALL areas of my life. Today, God called and said it was time to clean the whole house, including that closet in the back where I've kept it under lock and key.

Today, I refused to listen to all the lies of the enemy, because God said today was the day. Was He making me do it? Of course not! God doesn't force us to do anything. He simply asks. If we're 100% committed, the response should be an easy one, but for me, well, let's just say it was the hardest thing I believe God asked me to do. He wanted me to call my dad today. Why today?

Because (1) He asked. (2) I was willing to go all in, and commit 100% if God saw things that needed to be cleaned up in my life, and (3) it was my dad's birthday. A perfect segue into why I was calling today of all days. I didn't know today would be the day, God would call in His chips for this area of my life, but knowing how wonderful He's been moving in areas of my life, I didn't want this to be the one thing that would hold me back from receiving His best in my life. Who doesn't want God's best?

And let me tell you He has been working in mighty ways, but I can't share just yet. So when God called today, I had no excuse. I had to 100% committed for Him, or I wasn't. He doesn't want anything less from me. So after a lengthy prayer asking for Him to be with me, I rummaged for the phone number my brother gave me a few months ago, and dialed the number. I was kinda hoping it would go to voicemail, but you know God, He had other things in mind. My dad answered.

I don't know which of us was more shocked, me or him. He was surprised, but you can tell it was a great surprise. I had to hold back the tears as I wished him a Happy Birthday and remind him who was calling. Remember he didn't have my number with him, I'm sure. We touched base a little bit today, and I told him I wanted to call over sending a card to let him know I was thinking about him today. We spoke for about 15 minutes since he was heading into work, but I know today was the start of something amazing. I know one things for sure, my dad probably got the birthday gift he's been wanting for a very long time. For me, I was happy to know that I kicked the devil back into his hole, because now, my house is clean. I have 100% assurance I am not holding anything back. I've forgiven all the people in my life I have issues with and for once, I have opened the doors in all my personal relationships!

And you know what?

I feel GREAT!

and the best part?

God's got something coming and it's going to be mind-blowing amazing and I believe it's coming soon!

I hope this message inspires you to open those doors God's calling you to work on. While it may difficult, the enemy will try to remind you of all kinds of ways to avoid doing this, but like removing a band-aid, you just got to rip it off! It doesn't hurt half as much as you think it would, and it's sooooo worth it!

If you want to contact me, leave me a message and I'll respond or you can ask me to pray for you. I know in the last days the enemy is going to seek to divide and destroy our relationships and it's time we got the construction business going and start to make repairs and build bridges. Let's put him out of business!

By the way, Happy Birthday again Dad!!!

The Meaning of Relationships

Did you ever stop and really think about the significance of being in a relationship?

Oh it could be any kind of relationship. Parent and child. Husband and wife. Friend to friend. Family member to family member. Or even perfect strangers caught in a moment of true companionship.

I was contemplating this thought the other day as I reflect so often on how we can see God in the smallest of things, if we are willing to look.

Normally I make all kinds of references to God when I look at how I interact as a parent with my own kids and see how God views us, but yesterday God took me a bit further to show me why it was not good for the first man and woman to be alone.

To be alone refers to not needing anyone, a sense of independence, a willingness to take care of your own needs and rely on yourself for everything. It's sad that too often we find people who love that lifestyle but how truly lonely is really is inside. Everyone needs a relationship at some point in their life.

Relationships teach us the values and fruits of the Spirit, God created in all of us. Even the meaning behind the husband and wife relationship, teaches us about unconditional love. How far we are willing to serve others or put their needs before our own, or even to have someone to share a memory with. To not be all alone.

Friends to friends offer us new challenges as well. We learn to care for someone else simply because we love like God does not because we are obligated to care or love them. We learn the gifts of kindness and generosity through our friendships with others.

Even the kindness shown to the stranger offers us the true meaning of love deep inside, to give without expecting anything in return, simply for the sake of putting someone else before us for a minute.

In all relationships we have, no matter their significance and if they are blood related or not, God is teaching us what key elements we find in each are also present in the one we have with Him. He is always teaching and always showing us they we need one another much like God desires to have a relationship with us, we are not meant to be all alone. We are meant to have companionship with another.

How do you see God in the relationships you have?

Restoring Romance Again

Too often life gets out of control and we find ourselves wondering where has all the time gone? We have so many demands placed on us by family, friends, church, job and others that by the time we get to ourselves we have just run out. Physical stress and fatigue wears on us since we weren't programmed to handled so much in one day and the consistent demand to do more is ever present.

Our relationships then begin to suffer when we don't have time for everyone who is demanding that time. We will take care of our job responsibilities usually first, because that is what pays the bills, then our kids come next and then if we can find time, maybe our spouses. Forget any time for us. So how do we capture the romance that is nothing more than a smoldering spark that used to be a raging fire. It's quite simple really, we need to change our priorities.

First and foremost it should be our relationship with God. I mean God doesn't want someone who dates Him, He wants a marriage to us. Imagine if you will that God only remembered you, when you remembered Him during your day. Kinda scary when you think of it that way. I don't think for most of us, that we give God any time in our day, because we know He will always be there later, like we tell our kids, "later honey!"

If we can rearrange our priorities to include God in our daily time management schedule, our whole days would go smoother. Since this is about romance, our next item on that priority list should be your spouse. We need to include them in our appointment books or Blackberries or whatever you schedule your time into. Whether it is phoning them just to see how they are doing, or making time at the closure of your evening to hang out, watch some TV, attend Bible Study or church, the point is to make time. No excuses!

I am not saying to put your job on the back burner by any means, but if we don't care of our spouse, our marriage will wither away and someone else may just be offering what we aren't. You'd be surprised at how often affairs begin because the husbands or wives simply didn't have the time for the other, no one to talk to, or to do the things you normally do. We weren't supposed to live our lives like room mates thanks to the added responsibilities of households, kids and jobs. We are supposed to put our spouse's needs even before our own.

So if you are wondering how to get that spark going again, beside just sex, you need to begin by nurturing that relationship you have neglected and stop taking advantage of your husband or wife, thinking that you will have time for them later. Begin today and show them just how much they really mean to you. Plan something to do with just them, keeping it out of the bedroom preferred. Guaranteed the longer you continue to show your spouse the attention we all need to have, the better your relationship and marriage will go!

Can't wait to hear your results!

Getting to Know More About Kat

Last week I gave an open invitation to anyone to post questions for me with nothing being off limits and so many of you responded. I thought I would answer some of them for you today!

Divine Mrs D wanted to know:

What is the biggest miracle that has happened in your life?

This is easy for me. It would have to be last year, when Steve first went out in disability then was laid off. I tried in vain several times to find work in this economy. All we had to live on were Steve’s checks. We still had a mortgage, and all the monthly bills. We held fast to the verses in Matthew about God providing our needs. We couldn’t borrow any money from family and I remember one time we actually asked our neighbors for money to help get us through with food til next check came. It was so humbling for us. If we look back and add up our expenses versus income, it doesn’t add up. We were able to keep our home, never ran short on anything and God took care of our daily needs.

...and what's your favorite memory as a child?

I would have to say since my parents divorced when I was 7, my mom was forced to work two jobs to make ends meet. So many days and weekends it was just my younger brother, Mike and I to ourselves. We would invent all kinds of things to keep ourselves busy for days. Our favorite was taking a spare piece of paneling down from the garage and creating a city streets on the backside. We would take all my brothers Hot Wheels, divide them up and play in our pretend city for days. We used old boxes and containers and turned those into shopping malls, stores, schools and homes.

He & Me + 3 wanted to know....

But how did you and Steve meet?

I was asked to manage a service department in Rowland Heights, CA at LA Cellular because no one wanted to take that store on. When I agreed to do it, I was given a detailed description of the obstacles I was bound to face. One of them was a troublemaker named Steve who liked to be confrontation and was known to get in fights outside of work. I figured if I could turn this service center around, it would make me look good. I was still married at the time to my first husband.

Upon walking into the service center I met Steve, with a black eye no less. Even though I was married already, I knew there was more to this person than what I had heard. I set up to use him to make our service center better and in the process make a name for himself not as a troublemaker but a problem solver. Little did I know that within a month of that meeting, my marriage would dissolve. Over the next 6 months, Steve became a friend to me, being a single mom know there were times I struggled. He was always there. He signed my lease on my apartment because my credit was horrible. He never asked for anything. We became best friends over the next two years and he was my saving grace in the darkest time in my life.

After receiving my divorce papers I resolved to end my life because I truly felt abandoned and left all alone. I couldn’t see things right in front of me, my child custody rights were robbed from me by an ex who felt I would flee and take his daughter away. So I prayed to God that day that if anyone called me I would stop this attempt on my life. After two hours of waiting and taking pills each hour that I waited, Steve called. That day forever changed the rest of my life.

We spent the next year getting to know one another and eventually he asked me to move in. Within 3 months, he proposed and the rest is history. We will have been married for 12 years this February 9th and have been best friends for 15.

Where do you all like to take family vacations?

Our favorite place has been at the Squaw Peak Hilton Resort in Arizona during our summer. The rates are less than $100.00 a night and includes great accomodations and a water park on the property. The food at the restaurant is more than affordable and everyone gets what they love.

What is your favorite hobby?

Right now, I would have to say reading. I can’t get enough. The more books I read, the more I feel alive and more in tune with who I am and what God wants me to be. I can get through really good books in a matter of hours.

Andrea wanted to know:

Well, I think I have been here since the beginning....and I have come to know you as an awesome friend and prayer warrior. I am privileged to have you in my life.

Where were you born?

I was born in Fullerton, California. I have lived in Southern California my whole life. I grew up in Huntington Beach for about 6 years and then moved to Santa Ana until I graduated high school.

What is the craziest/wildest thing you have ever done?

I did say nothing was off limits. This was before my salvation days! When I was living my rebellious teenage years in high school, I joined a truck club my boyfriend and his friends created called Limited Edition. One weekend, we went to a three day truck run, where it is like a huge campout with all kinds of other truck clubs and you drink and party the whole weekend. I was prone to drinking Southern Comfort straight at that time and thought is was cool to act like one of the guys. So I drank a lot that night, marinaded my steak in it, and subsequently passed out that night. I woke up on the ground the next morning sick as a dog. For the next three days I had the worst hangover and I vowed to never drink again nor get drunk either. I pretty much lived up to that vow.

How has GOD really outdone HIMSELF in your life?

He has enabled me through so many situations in my life and brought me to the place where I am now. I can honestly look back and see how He was with me every step of the way even when I wasn’t with Him. Each circumstance in my life, He knew the people I would need and the challenges I would face to bring me through them. Looking back I think God had it right the whole time. I can only hope to do His will each day in my life and enter into His gates to hear the words, "Well Done Good and Faithful servant".

Jenn at Still Learning wanted to know:

Do you teach in church? You seem so knowledgeable!

Nope but perhaps that is the direction God would like for me to go in next. I was a corporate trainer for 10 years at AT&T and loved every day I went to work. I was making differences in peoples lives and that is something that no amount of money could ever pay you for.

What is the greatest lesson that God specifically taught you?

Trust him always. He will never let you down and you will become a better and stronger person as the result of going through His fire.

I will do the second part tomorrow and it's still not too late to leave my any additional questions. I took the weekend off from blogging because we have so much stuff to do to prepare for the upcoming holidays. I really missed all of you.....thanks for noticing. If you have a question just leave it in my comments. You all have some really great questions!

The Heartbreak of a Teen

I was sitting at home watching TV and waiting for my oldest daughter, Caitlyn to arrive home from her youth group with her boyfriend. They attend a high school group with some of their friends from high school.

My daughter came in sounding like she was laughing hysterically and when I went to see what was up, I soon realized those weren’t laughs. They were heart-breaking sobs, coupled with never ending tears and hunched shoulders.

I asked her what was wrong, and she just cried worse. I am thinking, car accident, something went wrong at church, or a death of a friend. It was worse than that.

Her boyfriend of almost 8 months, cause in teen years, every day counts, had broken up with her. He started the conversation like so many of us have heard before, “We need to talk.” Then he dropped the bomb, and left her standing on the porch crying while he got in the car with his dad and drove off.

This is where we enter the story again, with my daughter in tears. It honestly breaks your heart as a mom, because you want to take that pain away and just make it all better. We know better that only time and a lot of prayers make it better.

I had her call her best friend, Samm, that lives down the block even though it was getting late. Girlfriends never think anytime to deal with a break up is too late. She was over in a matter of minutes.

During that time, between sobs, and hugs, we learned that he felt they would be better friends. Oh how I have heard that before. Typical excuse, even though deep down, I felt there was more. Since they are both so young, communication skills were something that they were both learning.

My daughter explained that for a couple of weeks, they were arguing a bit more, and there were longer periods of silence between them. He was spending more time away from her than with her and their phone calls were getting shorter.

Background: She is going on 16 in two months and he just turned 15 in January. They don’t go to the same school, just occasionally get together on Wednesday nights for youth group and some dates on the weekend with friends and family. They are both committed to keeping themselves spiritually pure until marriage and both have strong Christian upbringing and families.

During the remainder of the night we tried to get her calm enough to at least try and get some sleep and we would deal with them more in the morning. I tried to explain that since they were both so young, it’s hard to learn the art of communicating when things are going well in your relationship, to try and resolve them. It takes practice. Lot’s of practice.

My daughter seems to think my hubby and I are seasoned experts. I had to explain that things aren’t always as great as they seem and we have to work things out when we don’t agree. I explained that we already have an agreement based on our marriage covenant that we will stay together no matter what, so we have to agree to work together when we come to a fork in our road.

We agree that we are committed to talking it out.

I often wonder in this turbulent time in our world if this isn’t the enemy trying to break up a great pair of people who are committed to furthering God’s work among the teens. If he can try to cause separation, he knows they won’t work on trying to stay together, they will simply turn and walk away. Too much trouble to deal with.

I wonder what would have happened if they simply agreed to sit down together to discuss their differences openly to see if those are changes both are willing to make to keep the relationship intact.

Why is it easier to walk away rather than try to work it out?
Are relationships so disposable that we can treat people like they don’t matter?

I believe if you commit to one another, even in a teen relationship, you need the support of both parents to help teens through issues such as this.
Otherwise, how will our teens learn how to deal with issues once something like this comes up in a marriage?

If we don’t teach them how to communicate, how will they learn?

My daughter saw how well my husband and I get along, but what she failed to understand is what she doesn’t see.

She doesn’t see compromise, she doesn’t see a willingness to work on things and never give up, and she doesn’t see how we honestly resolve our conflicts together when we don’t agree.

Please pray for her to be healed in this breakup process. Please pray that God won’t allow her to harden her heart towards others God may bring her way. Pray that God will reveal any lesson to her that she needed to learn by this experience and that He will send her comfort. By the way, she is the person pictured above.

With so many teen suicides these days, we never know what teens are thinking. We are truly blessed that she has a great network of Christian friends that we are making sure she is with daily right now. Dark times lay ahead and we pray that parents are open enough with our teens to make sure they can come to us with any need they have no matter how dumb or stupid it may seem.

We need to pray for not only our teens but the others they come into contact with daily, who may be searching for a willing ear and a shoulder to cry on and a heart that understands.

Final Moments

I had this thought today, while I was sitting in church this morning listening to our pastor preach.

He was talking about all the preparation that Jesus went into days prior to his crucifixion.

He prayed a lot, he broke bread and had wine with His disciples, and fellow shipped with those whom I believed He knew would be broken and lost without Him.

Little did they know just how little time they actually had with him, although Jesus did tell them on quite a few occasions just when it would happen, I think like most of it, we think, maybe it won't. Perhaps something can happen to change the event.

Maybe it won't be as bad as we think it will be.

During those minutes of listening to our sermon, I believe God spoke to my heart about my husbands upcoming trip tomorrow. He assured me, He has this all under his control and will be keeping watch out for Him.

Yes, I will miss him when I head to bed and fell his presence missing, leaving me alone in the dark.

But I smile, because I know God is using Him. God has plans for us.

My husband is being sent to Las Vegas, that's right sin city, anything goes as far as temptations there, and most of it's legal or at least not looked at in the same perspective as we would like to see it.

However, Steve's parents live there. They retired there recently and it's been quite awhile since he has visited them.

I see it as opportunity. I see it as time with his parents whom aren't getting any younger, both whom have had health issues, and could use some one on one time, with their youngest son.

Even though he will be working long hours, his evenings will still be spent with them. It will be a nice surprise to get some alone time, with their son again.

Who knows what will happen in the future? But for now, I will completely put my faith in trust in God and see this for the good that God has in store.

So today, we spent the day together after church.

We spent some quality time, just being alone. Just the two of us.

Reminding each other of why our relationship is so special and unique to us.

We had lunch and worked on the yard! We sat around and laughed and had some great memories shared between the two of us.

I will miss him but I know God needs him someplace else for now. I love him in so many ways not only as my best friend, my soul mate, and husband, but also my fellow believer in Christ. The days we have here together will seem like mere seconds when we get to heaven and can share an eternity with Jesus!

Sure there may be things that will be trying to draw his attention away while in Las Vegas, but with God on my side, it's a bet I am willing to make and one that is sure to win!

Give Me A Sign!

Remember the movie "Bruce Almighty" when he is beginning to try and pray and he asks God to give him a sign, and God does by bringing about all kinds of road signs? However Bruce is looking for something significant and almost miraculous. He doesn't see the subtle signs God puts right in front of him.

I think we are a lot like Bruce in that situation, at least I am. I pray with the right intentions and wait patiently (OK sometimes the patient part is a bit difficult) but I try and wait patiently for an answer. Sometimes it comes right away, other times it doesn't come at all. I also think that sometimes God is trying to answer our prayers and we just aren't looking for the answers in the right places.

I mean in the past, I have prayed for solutions to whatever dilemma life is handing me at that time, such as, getting through a bad and difficult divorce, handling a child custody issue involving my ex husband living completely on the other side of the US, marrying a second time, dealing with lay offs and job losses, finding our first home, I am sure you get the idea.

Well lately I have been praying for this job that my husband has had for about six months. When he initially began the job, we were told that travel at first would be quite a bit until the company secured work in California. We were told it would never go past 3 weeks without the company sending him home to be with family. I am sure you can see where this is going.

Well it's now February and he is still traveling about 75-90% of the time. The longest he has been gone has been 5 weeks at a time, in a completely different state that we can't travel to, to be with him, and we have to deal with life without him. Our 10 year old does well sometimes but really hates this job of daddys! It tears both of us up when he has to leave. We have been praying to God to at least let us know if this is our path at this time. Since we live in California the job market is pretty dry here. I have had my application with a temp agency since January of 2007 and no not one phone call.

This new job is hit or miss at best. Sometimes with him being gone for so long, he works continuously long hours, and seven days a week, with no time off. When he does come home, we never know how long he will be here or when his next job is. There have been times where he was promised work only to have nothing available and was told to wait and hopefully something will come up. It's not a job you can rely on to pay your mortgage because when he does work, its OK on the financial side but when he doesn't, we struggle to find ways to make ends meet.

I have prayed for one answer from God, which is simply this. Should we keep trying to work with this job or walk away in faith that you will provide something else? We don't have any back up savings as we have to pay as we have money as we will never know when we will have more. There is no spare anything. I have to admit I was frustrated these last three weeks.

Even though he was working in Bakersfield, only 2 hours away, he was unable to be home most days because of issues with this job that required his immediate presence at the location site during all hours of the day. He works during the evening hours and attempts to sleep during the day. So we don't get a chance to talk much, things are a struggle at home since I am it, both mom and dad, while dad is away. I manage the house, bills, issues, school, church, you name it, it's my new responsibility. When things break in the house, I have to try and fix it. I've gotten quite good at how to fix the sprinklers, and how to turn of water and dig a hole in a hurry!

This wasn't what I envisioned my second marriage to be. This one, is almost becoming like my first one, where my husband chose to be gone all the time and leave me alone, whereas this time, we have to be apart because the job market is so scarce and we need the money. For me, the situation is familiar. I am alone, except for God's guidance which has helped to keep the family intact most days. Nights are the hardest. That's when everyone realizes that dad is missing and isn't coming home. It doesn't make it easy by any means. God makes it bearable, doable, and I realize he strengthens me to make it through each day.

My frustration remains in how long does one deal with this? Is this what God meant for me at this time in my life? Is this something we are supposed to walk away from because it's hurtful to our family and marriage? Or is this what God has in mind for us and if it is, please help us all deal with it.

I am confused because I can't voice this to anyone really because the people I do speak with, tell me to be happy, we at least have a job. That is such an empty response. I hate hearing it anymore. I feel like people don't really understand what's involved. I love having my husband home at least once a day, I can make it longer if I needed to but I never expected this. I find myself not really wanting to talk to hubby when he does call because we never know when he is coming back. The phone calls become hard because they are so short and the times when he does call is so late. I try so hard not to vent my frustrations on him and yet I fail there too. I did pray when I was finding myself at the end of that short rope and I believe that God asked me to simply hang up. Don't say anything more. Wait.

When I finished pulling weeds that day, I came inside to find an email that I usually get daily, a devotional for women, and I had one come up as a new email, that I had received some three days earlier but it came again, new at that moment. It dealt with how us women want God to change our men, and we pray for those changes, when all along, God just wants us to pray for changes within us. That those prayer must begin for us first. It didn't dawn on me until I was in church that night with hubby who managed, gracefully to make it home that night, tired and exhausted from Bakersfield, but wanted to come to church instead of sleep.

When we both opened our Bibles that night for a guest speaker for our usual pastor, when hubby opened his Bible he pulled out a piece of paper for a labor company. He turned to me, and said, I wonder if this is a sign? I explained about my email earlier that day and we both realized that God does speak to us, just sometimes not in the way we would expect.

I am working hard on myself with God during these long days. Still waiting for confirmation on the job issue but will wait as long as God has me to, until that time. Can you please pray for me in this as well, for God to reveal to me and Steve what His plan is regarding this job? If it's not in His will, then pray that God will give us the strength to walk away and find something else that will at least keep him home at night.

Thanks for your prayers and for listening!

Is Your Marriage On The Rocks or On a Rock?

Interesting play on words isn't it? Kinda catchy huh? The question is which place are you and your spouse in? I have to admit for the first 8 years or so of our marriage I wouldn't have admitted it but our marriage wasn't built on the rock that is God, but now for the last year and a half, not only is our marriage stronger but we honestly have grown in our relationship with God both together and individually.

It's not to say that we have had a carefree 8 years of marriage, but let's say the word divorce came up more often than it should, both of us would have been willing to give this up in a heart beat if God hadn't had different plans for us. He was always working on us to bring us to Him. In fact the guilt if any should be on me since I was a believer longer than Steve, but my walk hadn't always included God. Sure I called out to him when I needed Him, but not when things were going well. I had that part of my life mastered.

It wasn't until Steve started so say that we should go to church, that we agreed to at least give it a try for our kids sake. I mean I couldn't expect to wind up in heaven and explain to myself why I didn't bother to mention Jesus to my 10 year old daughter. I knew it was a personal decision for both girls and it really has helped to keep my oldest more grounded in her life in high school. She never feel into the clicks, the drugs, or sex issues, and she is insisting that she stay pure up to marriage.

The point I am trying to make is that God designed marriage to be a life long commitment, not a trial period and if it doesn't work out then we part and go our separate ways. No, it was meant that wedlock should include a padlock. It was designed to stand the test of time and endure but only if our house (our marriage) is built on a strong foundation. Have you ever seen houses built that look incredible but fail because of the foundations? Look at the recent mudslide homes in Orange County and Laguna Hills. Beautiful multi million dollar homes that fall away in the midst of a mild rain that last over several days. Sin is like that subtle rain. It's not enough to appear to pose any real danger to your home, but over time, erosion eats away at the ground bit by bit til your home slides away. Sin within a marriage has the same result.

Without God as our foundation in which sin can not eat away at, we are almost assured at some point that our home will come sliding down. The great thing is that God can repair that home and make it better than it was before it was built. We just need to commit to spending time together in prayer, praying daily for our marriage and families because the rains will come, eventually, and we will all be tested. Isn't it time to build your home on something that will last instead of trying to fill it full of things that won't?

Dear Lord,

May you bless the readers of this post. May they find comfort and peace in their marriages and families by putting your first. In trusting you Lord, may you bless their families and marriages, keeping them strong, and keep them walking in your light when dark clouds come. Remind them that even though the skies maybe sunny now, we never know when the subtle rains of sin can come along to try and erode our foundation in you, and keep our eyes focused on you always.

In Jesus Name,

AMEN!

A Man After God's Own Heart

Ever wonder what God really designed men to be like? Were they supposed to be sports loving, tool craving, beer drinking, women watching person most of us know? I am not talking about those type of men, unless they are claiming to be God fearing, then they should not be doing some of the things I listed above, drinking beer and women watching, especially if they are married. I don't condemn those men that have the occasional beer but the one's that over indulge themselves becoming drunk drinking beer. Those are the ones that I have an issue with.

What I am talking about is the men that God designed for us. Both single and for married women, the men that God created are one in the same. Both should be serving God, first and foremost. These are not the ones that send their families to church, while they stay at home. It's a bit different if they are working however, but they should be a spiritual leader in the home. One that their family would look up to that leads them everyday in the same way that God would. He prays daily for his family. He leads the family in prayers at mealtime. Besides working to provide a living for his family, he helps out, not when asked but when he sees a need.

God didn't design men to just flop on the couch when they get home from work, and then place demands on the family, like we live to serve, like slaves. Nope, contrary to what the world thinks a man is to care for his family, like Christ cares for the church. Jesus never made demands while He was here on Earth. He came to serve people and in most cases, it was the ones that needed Him the most. The lost, the sick, the dead, and the non believers. So our husbands are supposed to care for us, not only for our financial needs, but our personal needs as well.

They never demand equal treatment or even substandard treatment. They are here to serve their families. It is that great responsibility to husbands, like Christ has for the church to bring up his family to be worthy of God. They aren't the ones with the hands off approach to parenting or be a friend type of parent or simply let your mother handle it since she is the mom.

Imagine how great life would be for us wives, if our husbands were even a small fraction of what God designed them to be. How easy would it be for us, to love such a man? I know for me, my husband isn't perfect, but he is perfect for me and our family.

He works doing all he can to provide for our families needs, even going out of town for three to four weeks at a time, because work is so scarce here. I know that alone breaks his heart because I see it in his eyes and in his voice when I take him to the airport. Not only that, when he is gone, he calls every day. Not because we miss him but because he wants to remain connected to us even while he is gone. He calls just to hear our voices and to hear what is going on so it's not so lonely for him.

He emails me thoughtful and romantic notes to let me know how much he loves me and misses me, but is specific to certain events in our life either past or future. He does his best to keep love alive.

When he is home, this man will love this family unconditionally. He gets up when I do, to enjoy a cup of coffee with me before the kids wake up. He helps me get them ready and drive them to school. He shops with me because he genuinely wants to. He honestly spends quality time with me every minute he can. He will fix dinner when he knows I am running late from track practice with the kids so we don't have to wait for me to fix it. He is an incredible cook by the way.

The one thing I enjoy most about him lately is his hunger for knowledge in the Bible. I love being next to him and holding his hand while we read. I love sitting next to him at church and hear him sing praise and worship songs. I love seeing him interact with people at church. I can see he really loves and cares for people and it's not a forced reaction. I was truly blessed by God when I found him at the lowest moment of my life. He gives me hope and faith that God truly blesses those who love Him.

How could you not love a man after God's own heart? I married him and I plan on spending not only this life with him, but I know without a doubt that I will spend an eternity in heaven with him as well.

What Does It Really Mean to Forgive Someone?

Ever wonder if that apology you made to someone is really sincere or that the person truly forgave you? Perhaps there is someone in your life that you have held a grudge against for whatever reason and from time to time you keep remembering that grudge is the only thing standing between you and that person from resuming your relationship? Perhaps it's a family member that has hurt you on an emotional, physical or mental level. Do you realize that the longer you hold that in, your health continues to deteriorate?

We are not meant to hold life long grudges against people and even if people sincerely apologize, sometimes they are not forgiven by that person because too much time has passed. Too often these are relationships that need some healing, that cause a wound within our lives that is crying out to be healed, but instead, we tell that voice to be quiet, or ignore it completely, and continue to bury that feeling ever deeper.

Here are some steps to help you with that process. Even for me, occasionally I think about the relationship I had with my dad that has prevented me from talking to him for more than 13+ years now. It's been so long my current hubby, Steve, has never even met him. The one thing I need to do before it's too late is resolve my side of this disagreement, and here's how:

1. The person who offended this argument or disagreement, must be the first one to make the first move. It's not the offendeds turn to come to you. It will not be erased from you until you do your part. You will need to do what is right and leave the results to God to deal with.

2. God is honored by immediate obedience. The person could die while you wait and you don't want to live with the guilt and regret for the rest of your lives. So reach out to them as quickly as you can.

3. Others are healed by a vulnerable and honest confession. Healing awaits that confession of wrong doing. Even people that were not impacted initially by this are touched by your sincere apology.

4. If you aren't sure if you have any past issues to deal with, ask God to show them to you and listen to your heart to address any areas of your life or your past. Then Go and Immediately deal with them. Seek forgiveness for your past behavior.

5. Start immediately without any rationalization. Stop making excuses for why you conducted yourself that way. You had a wrong nature, and don't put it off or pass it off on others. It's easy to make excuses on things that are difficult.

6. Return completely with reservation. You need to have a heart breaking admission of guilt. Your repentance is incomplete when you are holding something back or have other agendas for doing this. It is a difficult thing to do especially when time has passed. It will hurt, but it's necessary.

7. Repent without hesitation. Hold nothing back, and put your pride in your pocket. Seek legitimate forgiveness. It will benefit all your relationships in your life, even if they are not affected by this. It will make you feel like a new person.

8. Realize, that there may not be an immediate forgiveness towards you. Let God deal with that end and work on their heart. As long as you have done your part, it's all God can ask.

9. If we don't forgive someone who seeks forgiveness from us, remember that God will not forgive us when we seek the same from him. Jesus told us that we are to forgive a total of seventy times seven if someone asks. Which means if they ask, and we forgive them, we are to forget it like God does. It may last within our memory but we should be willing to move forward in the relationship. If it's difficult, ask God to help you deal with that part of it.

I hope you get something from this message and I will update you on how it goes with my own forgiveness story with my father in a future blog. My goal is to not wait until it's too late and I may not have tomorrow to do it!