Hello my blogging friends.
It's been quite awhile since you have heard from me. I can assure you I am fine and now that my small business has stalled, I came back to my blog, to where I once shared all my heart felt feelings so that one day I can go back and hopefully find the reason I had hope when it feels like your life is unraveling and becoming undone. Am I the only one? I hope not.
I often wondered to myself, why did you stop writing Kat? Even looking back to gather links for my traditional Easter posts to shine the light on the real reason for the celebration, being all about the Lamb and nothing to do with a bunny or eggs. I found myself reading posts that didn't even feel like I wrote them. It's even like that when I go back and read my prayer journals. I often wonder who wrote this amazing prayer because it doesn't feel like those are really my thoughts at the time. I have to journal my prayers now because as I have gotten older (61 at this point, goodness gracious, seriously that old now... sorry I transgress again) I write my prayers in a journal because even when I try to say the words out loud my thoughts are all over the place. Can you relate?
Plus it's a nice way to go back and see how God has always answered my prayers most often not like I wanted but according to what He wanted for my life at that time. I guess my prayer journal turned out to replace my blog posts for some time, but I really do miss just putting my thoughts into a blank white space and hope someday to come back and read them and see how I have faired since writing them. I can tell you it's intimating even more so now, because I am a whole lot slower at typing and I refuse to use AI to help me compile my thoughts in a very organized way. I love just the random stuff that comes out when I am sitting here alone in my office, a cup of coffee within reach and my thoughts running faster than I can try and capture them.
The world is a much different place now in 2025 than where I thought it would be. I had hoped that 2024 and all the ugliness that happened that year would be behind me and that 2025 would be a much better place, but if I am being honest it's not. I feel like the world right now has hit a freeze button and nothing is moving forward or even backward. Like time is suspended. My business has slowed to a complete stop and nothing is happening. It's the first time since I started in 2017 that I haven't sold one wreath, and I know it's not just me. I see everyone is in the same boat. Shall I make room for one more, my dear friend?
I see more businesses closing up shop. Well known ones too. I mean I used to think that when I wanted to make a major purchase that I would choose well known and reputable business because who wants to buy from a unknown place because of the possibility they may not be around in a year. Why waste your good hard earned money. Yet it's those very businesses that are going out of business. Places like Sears, Best Buy, Big Lots, Kohls, JoAnn's Fabrics, Party City and so many more. I used to think they just weren't keeping up with the times and offering more online options to make purchases since Amazon came around.
Yet for the first time, I am feeling what they felt. Is this the end? How can my business pivot to stay ahead of what is happening at this time in the world. So I do what we all do, ( a line for the Chosen just popped into my head as I was going through this post and proofreading it, " What do we do when we are afraid? We say the words of Adonai." Thanks Dallas Jenkins for that one. Back to my train of thought before it leaves the station. I try not to panic and jump on the fear train, like I have watched so many people do. Even three of my business associates I have deals with have all closed up shop. They are bowing out and giving up. So I stay the course at least for now, vowing not to give up and pray. Pray a lot. Pray more than I ever have before. In fact I have prayed since day one of 2025. But has it helped?
Some days yes, and to be honest some days no. I feel like God is just busy. He obviously has more important things to do than to be bothered by my request for help. I feel like Gideon just wanting a sign to know should I hang in there or bail out now. Will you give me a sign Lord? Yet this is where faith and hope come into play. I have been here before. even worse than now, and God came shining through. I call it my Red Sea moment. A pivotal time where I need to stand strong and hold on. I know I will make it through because God has promised to never leave me or forsake me. It doesn't mean I won't have to endure the storms that are here right now, but it does mean that I need to change what I focus on.
Will it be the ever increasing wind and waves that are threatening to tear my boat apart or will I keep my focus on Him, who has promised that He will bring me through to the other side? Did I forget He said that to me?
Will I show up with my 5 loaves and 2 fish and trust that He can multiply what I bring to Him in faith believing He can feed the 5000 and still have 12 baskets of left overs?
Do I have enough for today?
I need to remember at this stage of my life and all that I have been through and witnessed, that He has always blessed me more than I ever dreamed and that it is never supposed to be about me, but it's about Him.
It's not my way, it's His way.
He doesn't need my help, but He does invite me in to participate with Him.
So I thank you blogging friends for listening to me. If you find yourself struggling in the storms that are threatening to drown you, change what you are focusing on. Keep your eyes on Him and He will bring you through anything that you are going through in your life. Trust Him in all things, not just some things. God is still writing your story and He always finishes what He starts. Hold on!