Struggling With Finding Answers

Do you ever have someone going through a difficult time and you want to give them just the right answer to whatever they're going through? From a mom struggling with cancer for the 4th time who has to deal with her own health issues but also parent a teen and a working husband, while trying to remain in control. Or what about the husband who feels like he is ready to throw in the towel because the work environment has changed so much that he is being tasked beyond what one man can take? Or how can you grow your own business in a highly competitive market where everyone it seems is selling what you have and for a lot less?

And of course, it's all happening simultaneously!

Yet isn't that life? A struggle of challenges to face, and often times all at the same time.

So how do you hold it all together, where does your help come from?

In any and all of these, it has to first be from God because in an instant He can and has the power to change any of these situations in a flash. So prayer is my first answer. It will also feel like perhaps nothing has changed immediately, even though that is what the flesh wants us to believe. Like praying about that changed anything, right? Well I believe it does. It unleashes something within the throne room of God to set things in place to affect each of these areas. We may not see it right away, but something has changed.

We did the right thing, right away. Now we just need to keep on praying. Just because it seems like nothing has changed, we need to keep praying about it. Perhaps praying for strength to face cancer one more day when you physically want to give up. Perhaps it is praying for wisdom to sort through the challenges of being overwhelmed so you can find clarity in the midst of confusion, or perhaps it is saying,"Hey God, this business is yours and if you mean for me to sell a few things, can you move in the hearts of the person you have in mind to buy this item?"

Everyday you have the power to change things through prayer. Not just a half-hearted, like it's going to change things anyway prayer, but really dig deep into the specifics of what you need. Like an itemized shopping list of specific things, like strength, protection, wisdom, grace, mercy, hope, compassion. Let these be a part of your prayers and believe above all, that while you are not seeing an immediate response to your prayers, things are happening and one day we will see how it all was connected along the way.

But above all it needs to begin with prayer.

Where is God When I Need Him?

It's been quite awhile since I can honestly say I have been inspired by God to write a post that I felt is something that needed to be told. Funny thing was that this topic was inspired by a conversation I had this morning with my daughter. We were speaking about how people can be so endowed with their God-given faith and then fall up short for some reason.

The conversation was based around spiritual warfare and how some people can wage war against evil and not have come to God before heading to battle, even though they may be called to that purpose. I explained that it is possible to step out and think you're doing God's will because it may be the purpose your life has been designed around but to leave God behind in the process.

Too often I feel that we pray to God for an answer to a prayer we so desperately need to be answered and when it doesn't come, we feel God left us hanging. What we may in fact fail to see is God just simply didn't answer it the way you might have desired, but God never left you hanging.

I think too often as children of faith, we feel a sense of entitlement that because we are God's children, He owes us those answers to prayer we need. What we fail to understand is God knows what we need and what is best for us. I explained it to my daughter this way, as a parent I only want what is best for you and even though I want nothing more than to give you whatever it is you ask for, sometimes it's not what you need. For example, lets say you want another pair of shoes but you really don't need them and even though you may beg and plead for those shoes, I don't give them to you. Not because you don't deserve them, not because I don't love you, not because you are a child of mine, but because I see a bigger need for you to be addressed even though you can't.

So you think I didn't answer your prayer. You think I failed you. You think I don't love you and in fact, you must have done something wrong so maybe I am punishing you. So now you turn the other direction and simply stop asking me for anything.

It's funny when we can view things quite simply from a parent/child perspective and not from a human/God perspective, yet it is the same.

God perhaps didn't answer your prayer because it wasn't what you really needed, in fact perhaps He had something else in mind. Too often our expectations of God are that He will always answer us in the way we expect, but when that doesn't happen, we think God abandoned us. Now we are like spoiled children, turning our backs on God and walking away.

God doesn't owe us explanations or answers for anything He does. We will never have the answers to the question, "Why, God, why?" In some cases I think the answer to that would be beyond our comprehension to understand His reasoning, so we are not told. Yet one day, we will know the answers to all those times we cried out for help and didn't receive it like we wanted. I do know this, God loves us more than we could ever imagine. He never fails us. NEVER!

So when bad things happen, when you cry out to Him and He doesn't answer like you think He should, accept it. He has answered. You can ask for an explanation but it may not come. This is life in a sin-filled world. Choice are made every single day by Christians and non-Christians alike, and sometimes those choices will affect us in life-changing ways, however don't be bitter or angry at God. Ask Him to help you deal with your emotions and feelings.

Instead of running away from Him, run to Him. God will NEVER forsake you. Even if faced with a life and death situation and you cry out for His help and He doesn't answer in the manner you wanted, He still has answered. He has kept you safe, but you may still have to endure the battle and the injuries. Hold on to this scripture when hard times come...

A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;
he will not falter or be discouraged
till he establishes justice on earth.

Isaiah 42:3-4

God will bring you through your battles in this world, but whatever you do, do not go into the darkness unarmed and without Him by your side. He may keep you from harm but it's not worth the price.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. " ~ Ephesians 6:10-13

No More Left Overs Please!

Ever wonder just where all the communication goes when you have been with someone for quite awhile? It could be 5, 10, 15 years or even more than that, but it just seems like when you were first dating your special someone, all you wanted to do was talk to them. You would talk for hours, stay on the phone and sometimes even fall asleep with the phone between you and your pillow just listening to the other person breathe.

Then one day you realize just how little you do talk. You go about your day and he goes about his, sometimes you discuss things when you have a chance, the kids, school, work, bills, money and things around the house. Yet whatever happened to those conversations about anything that would just make us smile just knowing who we were talking to.

Next we find ourselves in our own world while they are in theirs. When did two people suddenly become such strangers?

I believe once the communication goes soon it begins to follow a similar pattern. Much like a mudslide. First you have heavy rain until it saturates the ground so much it can't hold any more water and then the hillside gives way.

So why then do we do that very thing with our relationship with God? Call on Him when we can remember, or definitely when things are looking bleak and hopeless.

Do you know that if we remained faithful in our tithing, we would owe God 2 hours and 24 minutes of our day? How much time honestly do you allocate for him? Do you wonder then why your relationship with Him isn't what you would like it to be?

I believe we owe God this time. We are after all going to be spending the remainder of eternity with Him so shouldn't we begin to build on that relationship instead of merely praying at church, at meals and when things get tough?

If we truly desire a real relationship with Him we have to be willing to put in the time just like we invest time in our relationships at home. Once the communication dies, soon everything else begins to head south as well.

The trouble with most of us, I believe is our ever busy and frantic lives. We simply task God for whatever time we have left in the day. Perhaps during the shower, or while we are heading to work, or maybe just before bed.

How would a real relationship stand if that is all you were willing to invest in it? I would honestly have to answer, there wouldn't be much if any. So why then do we believe that our relationship with God is any different?

He is interested in knowing what you are thinking, what your frustrations are, you loves and your deepest dreams. He is the person on the other end of our life just waiting in anticipation for us to turn to Him and talk. He is always willing to listen, always available and is so interested in what you have to say that He stops everything He is doing just to listen to you. Wouldn't you love that in a real relationship?

I challenge all of you today, to begin to build on that relationship and begin investing your time wisely instead of the things that will wither away and not matter or make a difference. I am so confident once you increase this communication, you will notice some profound changes in your life and your relationship with God.

Prayer is the answer! Let's begin by talking to God throughout our day and not just when we have time. Let Him truly be our first priority in our lives instead of left overs. He is ready when you are.

Psalm 6:9 "The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer."

Give Me A Sign!

Remember the movie "Bruce Almighty" when he is beginning to try and pray and he asks God to give him a sign, and God does by bringing about all kinds of road signs? However Bruce is looking for something significant and almost miraculous. He doesn't see the subtle signs God puts right in front of him.

I think we are a lot like Bruce in that situation, at least I am. I pray with the right intentions and wait patiently (OK sometimes the patient part is a bit difficult) but I try and wait patiently for an answer. Sometimes it comes right away, other times it doesn't come at all. I also think that sometimes God is trying to answer our prayers and we just aren't looking for the answers in the right places.

I mean in the past, I have prayed for solutions to whatever dilemma life is handing me at that time, such as, getting through a bad and difficult divorce, handling a child custody issue involving my ex husband living completely on the other side of the US, marrying a second time, dealing with lay offs and job losses, finding our first home, I am sure you get the idea.

Well lately I have been praying for this job that my husband has had for about six months. When he initially began the job, we were told that travel at first would be quite a bit until the company secured work in California. We were told it would never go past 3 weeks without the company sending him home to be with family. I am sure you can see where this is going.

Well it's now February and he is still traveling about 75-90% of the time. The longest he has been gone has been 5 weeks at a time, in a completely different state that we can't travel to, to be with him, and we have to deal with life without him. Our 10 year old does well sometimes but really hates this job of daddys! It tears both of us up when he has to leave. We have been praying to God to at least let us know if this is our path at this time. Since we live in California the job market is pretty dry here. I have had my application with a temp agency since January of 2007 and no not one phone call.

This new job is hit or miss at best. Sometimes with him being gone for so long, he works continuously long hours, and seven days a week, with no time off. When he does come home, we never know how long he will be here or when his next job is. There have been times where he was promised work only to have nothing available and was told to wait and hopefully something will come up. It's not a job you can rely on to pay your mortgage because when he does work, its OK on the financial side but when he doesn't, we struggle to find ways to make ends meet.

I have prayed for one answer from God, which is simply this. Should we keep trying to work with this job or walk away in faith that you will provide something else? We don't have any back up savings as we have to pay as we have money as we will never know when we will have more. There is no spare anything. I have to admit I was frustrated these last three weeks.

Even though he was working in Bakersfield, only 2 hours away, he was unable to be home most days because of issues with this job that required his immediate presence at the location site during all hours of the day. He works during the evening hours and attempts to sleep during the day. So we don't get a chance to talk much, things are a struggle at home since I am it, both mom and dad, while dad is away. I manage the house, bills, issues, school, church, you name it, it's my new responsibility. When things break in the house, I have to try and fix it. I've gotten quite good at how to fix the sprinklers, and how to turn of water and dig a hole in a hurry!

This wasn't what I envisioned my second marriage to be. This one, is almost becoming like my first one, where my husband chose to be gone all the time and leave me alone, whereas this time, we have to be apart because the job market is so scarce and we need the money. For me, the situation is familiar. I am alone, except for God's guidance which has helped to keep the family intact most days. Nights are the hardest. That's when everyone realizes that dad is missing and isn't coming home. It doesn't make it easy by any means. God makes it bearable, doable, and I realize he strengthens me to make it through each day.

My frustration remains in how long does one deal with this? Is this what God meant for me at this time in my life? Is this something we are supposed to walk away from because it's hurtful to our family and marriage? Or is this what God has in mind for us and if it is, please help us all deal with it.

I am confused because I can't voice this to anyone really because the people I do speak with, tell me to be happy, we at least have a job. That is such an empty response. I hate hearing it anymore. I feel like people don't really understand what's involved. I love having my husband home at least once a day, I can make it longer if I needed to but I never expected this. I find myself not really wanting to talk to hubby when he does call because we never know when he is coming back. The phone calls become hard because they are so short and the times when he does call is so late. I try so hard not to vent my frustrations on him and yet I fail there too. I did pray when I was finding myself at the end of that short rope and I believe that God asked me to simply hang up. Don't say anything more. Wait.

When I finished pulling weeds that day, I came inside to find an email that I usually get daily, a devotional for women, and I had one come up as a new email, that I had received some three days earlier but it came again, new at that moment. It dealt with how us women want God to change our men, and we pray for those changes, when all along, God just wants us to pray for changes within us. That those prayer must begin for us first. It didn't dawn on me until I was in church that night with hubby who managed, gracefully to make it home that night, tired and exhausted from Bakersfield, but wanted to come to church instead of sleep.

When we both opened our Bibles that night for a guest speaker for our usual pastor, when hubby opened his Bible he pulled out a piece of paper for a labor company. He turned to me, and said, I wonder if this is a sign? I explained about my email earlier that day and we both realized that God does speak to us, just sometimes not in the way we would expect.

I am working hard on myself with God during these long days. Still waiting for confirmation on the job issue but will wait as long as God has me to, until that time. Can you please pray for me in this as well, for God to reveal to me and Steve what His plan is regarding this job? If it's not in His will, then pray that God will give us the strength to walk away and find something else that will at least keep him home at night.

Thanks for your prayers and for listening!