Submission in Marriage - The Missing Link to Happiness

Most people hate the word "submission," and whenever they hear it, they begin to get on the defensive. As we continue our study into developing a submissive spirit, some men might get excited by this and perk up. This is NOT the biblical application that some husbands are apt to toss in their wives face. Trust me I had such a man in my ex-husband. So what does the Bible really say about submission?

Ephesians 5:22 ~ "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."

If a man is going to memorize any Bible scripture, this is the one he loves the most and will have no trouble with remembering it. The wife will be the one who points out that he should love her, as Christ loves the church. That is absolutely true, but we need to look at what "submit" means by Bible standards and that is found in Ephesians 5:21

Ephesians 5:21 ~ "submitting to one another in the fear of the God."

Men and women are to have the same submissive heart to God in the fear of God. The first prerequisite is does your husband fear God? If you husband fears God, he will have a submissive spirit of God. He will be a man whom you will love being led by or submitted to. In fact the word "submission" will never come up in your relationship. He will be an awesome example of Jesus. You will want to do anything for him. You will have the most amazing relationship. You want to know why? Because you know he loves you. He would die for you and you know it!

It's not about forcing another to submit. That's not what the Bible's saying by any means. Submission in marriage is the missing link to happiness. If you want a happy marriage, it starts this way...The man is the example. The husband is always the pattern of practice. Let the husband submit to Christ in the fear of the Lord. Let the husband create a Christ-like spirit in that home. That woman will happily submit. There is no mandate of a woman submitting to a wicked man!

For a woman to sacrifice her faith, for her "ungodly, Christian husband," to entertain things that are a direct violation of Scripture because he told her to submit, that is completely wrong. In a Christian relationship, the fear of God, is to reign supreme. The awe and reverence to God, and that should first be exhibited in the husband who is the witness as a Christian leader in the home. That is where it starts. Tragically today, we hear, "Well the wife out to submit, I am the head of the house!" I doubt you are. We know that the word Islam means to submit. The difference is when the LORD asks to you submit, it's in a personal and loving relationship with God.

Remember as we continue this study on the three things we need to survive as believers in the last days is first, developing a thankful heart. Israel had failed to do that as we have been reading in Judges 10. When you begin to become unthankful, you begin to gripe and complain. You moan about everything and anything. Nothing is right. Everything is wrong. I can't take it anymore! That is the kind of age we are living in now. Everyone is pointing a finger at everyone else. When you don't  have a thankful heart, a cynical heart will develop in its place.

Developing a submissive spirit.

Judges 10:10-16 ~ "And the children of Israel cried out to the Lord, saying, "We have sinned against You, because we have both forsaken our God and served the Baals ( or allah today)!" So that Lord said to the children of Israel, "Did I not deliver you from the Egyptians and from the Amorites and from the people of Ammon and from the Philistines? (Yes). Also the Sidonians and the Amalekites and the Maonites oppressed you' and you cried out to Me, and I delivered you from their hand? (Yes). Yet you have forsaken Me and have served other gods. Therefore I will deliver you no more. Go and cry out to the gods which you have chosen; let them deliver you in your time of distress." And the children of Israel said to the LORD, "We have sinned! Do to us whatever seems best to You; only deliver us this day, we pray." So they put away the foreign gods from among them and served the LORD. And His soul could no longer endure the misery of Israel."

God goes down a list with the children of Israel showing them just how faithful He has been with them. They submitted to their worship system instead. He told them to go to their room. As they were marching off complaining, we see the tender heart of God. This is not the picture of the fire and brimstone God of the Old Testament God most people fear and think of when they think of God. When you are disobedient, you get called out. The children of Israel were bent on disobedience with God. God spanks those He loves. He knows discipline is necessary, but it always picks us up. He never crushes us or drives us away in doing so. The moment you remember God and turn around in repentance, He looks down on the misery of your heart and welcomes you back with loving arms. This is your first step to developing a submissive spirit, to acknowledge God. What a simple thing to do. Yet when pride is involved, it becomes a challenge to do so. We punish God when people hurt us. Don't turn your back on God.

The second thing that is required to develop a submissive spirit is that you need to love God. The children of Israel had taken their eyes off of God. When you love someone, you look at them. You watch them. We can see the love of God in His Word, especially in the New Testament. When you spend time with God in His Word, you begin to fall in love with Him. Humble your heart in front of Him. Read His love letter to you.

The final step in developing a submissive spirit is to surrender to God. We can't surrender to Him if we fail to understand His love for us. We can't surrender to Him unless we acknowledge Him. Life begins when we surrender to Him.

A.W. Tozar once said, "As Christians we no longer tell lies, we just sing them."

Think about it. When you sing your praise and worship songs at church, these are prayers to God. Do you really mean the words you are singing?

This is the key to those who want a successful relationship in any area of their lives from marriage to their work. You will never see a couple in love use the word "submit" in their relationship. Every woman looks for a man who will love them, lead them, is faithful to them. That's not truly possible unless a man loves the Lord to the fullest. If you want to find a true man, look for one who is in love with Jesus. The same applies to men, if you want a true woman, look for one who has a heart for Jesus. Look for those who fear the Lord with all their heart.