Thursday Thoughts

I just wanted to keep things light this week, with gravity and all keeping so many of us believers down and with much weight around our necks.

So I am going to leave this post on the short and sweet side with something a bit funny that showed up in my email this morning. May all of you have God's blessings rain down on you today and everyday!

Little John the Baptist

Matt. 18:4-5
"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And who ever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. "

Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed Him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.

She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing, and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."


Have a wonderful weekend!

Sounds of Aging

Yes, I realize we live in a world where we will all eventually grow older. There comes a time however, when we wake up one morning look in the mirror and it isn't the same person staring back at us any longer.

You begin to wonder, do we seriously age overnight or was last night a really bad night and these are the effects of that night?

These are the things I have begun to notice over the last year. Let's start at the top since that is what you seem to notice first because at some point we are always looking in the mirror.

The first thing was the added changes to my face in the form of age spots. Where did they ever get a name like that? How about sun spots or something a little less 'aging?"

I guess those years of spending literally all day at the beach were now finally playing a mean game of catch up. I spent entire summers, from sunrise to sunset hanging at the beach. I mean, it's where I grew up.

So the process begins of trying to hide them with make up only it really doesn't do the justice, so you try and wear your hair a bit differently. I guess wearing it hanging in your face only works in teens anymore, not quite becoming on a 45 year old.

Then I notice hair loss and dryness. I would blow dry my hair and suddenly I was shedding more hair than my cat. My hubby asked for any possible left overs of mine to glue on his. Yeah sure, like that will really help me.

So I begin to buy all this anti aging and breakage hair products to see if I can begin to keep more than I am losing. I mean bald men are quite hot in my opinion but bald women, NOT!

I notice I don't have the energy level I once did either and can't eat certain foods.

I make what my hubby and I have coined the old people noise when we attempt to put on our socks. I have discovered if you put your socks on before your pants, it's a lot easier.

We tried putting in a brick planter for our roses this weekend and realized sometimes if you keep your body in a hunched over position for too long, it does want to stick that way. I guess my parents were right, it just wasn't your silly face but you body that would eventually stay that way.

So we huff it off to the spa. We installed it for moments like this. Now we just need someone to come get us out. Life sure does have its moments as you grow old and who said it was fun! Hey, it's almost 8am, it's time for bed soon! We can't stay up like all those party days any more either. At least for now, I have someone to help me up as long as he can get up.

I Triple Dog Dare You!

Yeah I love that line from the movie, "A Christmas Story." As a matter of fact, I can relate to a lot in the movie. Every time Ralphie gets in trouble and has to wait for his dad to come home, oh man, my heart beats faster in my chest.

I remember that twilight hour when the sun was setting and the brilliant royal colors were settling in the sky, it wasn't sunset for me. It was a clock, ticking down the minutes ever so loudly, that I could hear them and begin to count down the minutes til I heard my dad's car pull into the garage.

So glad I have grown and no longer live in that kind of fear and dread. However, yesterday was a day of reflection. Perhaps because I have my nephew once again for another week, and the disappointment that when I gave him homework to do over the weekend, he didn't due it, until last night, after a lengthy phone call to his dad.

I started to remember how it was growing up in a home where our parents worked all the time, it seemed and we were left to our own devices.

We got along for the most part, and had our really bad arguments and fights. If only mom and dad could see there stuff we used to do.

So here it comes in the form of my blog, kinda of spring cleaning of the mind. The things I did to my brother.

We grew up having dogs of all sorts, most of the names have lost escaped my over crowded memory, but I do remember we feed them virtually anything that was cheap and on sale at the grocery store.

This is before the days of stores like Petsmart and Petco, although, I still buy my pet food at Target cause it's cheaper there and I hate making extra trips.

So it was curiosity that got the best of me most days. There were these things called Gaines Burgers for your dog. They were of the consistency of playdoh, and looked like something you could make from a Playdoh factory, that came in the shape of the hamburger. They smelled sweet but I wasn't about to eat it.

You can guess where this is going huh? So I dared my brother to try it. His name is Michael and I guess I figured it was a close to Mikey as it could get, so I dared him to try it. He didn't have to eat the whole thing, just a taste. Then I would know what it tasted like.

I could tell after he bit into the burger and abruptly spit it out, that it wasn't at all like we thought.

There came other things like Doggie Donuts, multi-colored looking biscuits in the shape of a donut. Yes, I got "Mikey" to try it and he actually liked to eat these. He said they had the flavor of cookies but a lot more crunchier.

One day I found him hiding under our kitchen sink, eating from a box of Doggie Donuts. I guess I wasn't supposed to see it, so off we went on one of our wild fights. Me, running away, laughing and pointing at him, calling him a dog in hiding, and him, red face and murder looming in his mind.

Ah, fun memories. I just had to share them with you. Now my conscience can rest in silence. For those of you just dying to know, I never ate the Doggie Donuts or Gaines Burgers. I didn't have to.

I had Mikey.

All it took was a dare! In some cases, a triple dog dare!

Out of the Loop!

Oh man, it feels like ages since I wrote my last blog. So many of you have been kind enough to email me and ask if I remain among the living! I am proud to say this post isn't coming from the afterlife. I am still around. I feel like I am among the dead.

Ever have one of those weeks wear everyone relies on you so heavily that at the end of the day, you literally can't see straight?

Here's the week in a short recap.

Hubby is back in Lost Wages, also known to most as Las Vegas for another week since his local project here was delayed for another week. See the pattern? What was suppose to be a week turned into three at the close of business hopefully today.

We've been at odds with each other because while he is at work, the burden of running and raising the household falls heavily on my shoulders even though I am married. At least I believe I am, although it doesn't feel like it. My partner and best friend is gone missing. Anyone see him lately on the back of milk carton? Do they even make milk cartons anymore? Does it matter since most of us buy milk by the plastic gallon jug and even if pictures were still posted, we wouldn't see them anyway.

I mean who visits the post office anymore? You get your stamps through the ATM machine or at the grocery store cashier or customer service counter, so you wouldn't see his picture on the wall there either. Oh wait that is just for known criminals. So I guess you wouldn't see him there either.

The kids have been off officially as of this week, and you can only guess what the latest question is. Yup, there's nothing to do, what can we do? I tell them that I have a ton of weeds just begging for some much needed attention and love in my sub-backyard. It's a fenced in area behind my nice, pretty backyard, that no one can see. Unless you look over the fence from the main street. The response to go weeding isn't what they wanted to hear, so off they go to inquire someplace else.

My nephew was dropped off by his dad, I mentioned him in earlier posts, because his father doesn't know what else to do with him. In his fathers words, "A world class failure if there ever was one."

Nice guy huh? My nephew is failing every class in his virtual home school class in lieu of video games. If his dad takes them away, he simply finds another source. via the Internet. Since he is an expert as masking his intentions, he can switch his computer screens faster than you can blink, and he is "back at school". The trained eye simply looks at the bottom tabs to spot the latest in gaming software going.

So it's been my duty, to try and get him caught up. Never mind that my kids finished early thanks to hard work and dedication (pushing by mom) to get to their reward of an early summer vacation. Now it's become my job to babysit him side by side, watching everything he does and try to get him current in his work.

Umm, doesn't his dad remember that my hubby and I did this last year, cramming 3 months of school into three week?

So hence the reason for my disappearance. I have stepped on the roller coaster of life once more, and go for the ride I am simply dreading. It's not like that funny feeling of excitement you get when you know at the end of the ride, you're going to say, "Wow, that was fun, let's go again!" Nope, mine is "I think I am going to be sick." as I place my hand over my mouth and raise my other hand. The universal sign for I am done, I want to get off.

Funny thing is that this week, the ride operator has left the building, I am stuck on the roller coaster for the millionth time, and the hill is coming back up again.

Thanks again for the many compliments and well wishes I received. I will be back more, if not to try and make you smile and laugh for the day, but at least so you know I am still alive and kicking.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

What A Way To End The Week

Oh what a week this has been!

Do you ever have a funny feeling that you are under attack from the enemy not just from the front but from every conceivable angle imaginable?

This has physically worn me out and it's funny because shortly after my latest post, literally in my life, all hell seemed to have broken out.

It seems when you follow what God asks you to do, the enemy pays you back on all ends.

I have been arguing with my hubby cause lately the job has taken a priority over family and we have taken a beating from everyone in our life so even though he has been out of town, the phone calls with him have been on the slim side. He hasn't really thought about calling us to check in, work hours drag on endlessly so it takes up all his mental time.

My kids just finished with school thankfully, but since there isn't anything to do or anyone to play with just yet, they are constantly all over me to find them something to do.

My physical health has been tested over the last two days with no sleep and lots of physical pain that Mom, hasn't felt like herself lately.

So you can see where my mind has been. I wish I could say it's been out to lunch but that would be so nice. It's more like it's been reduced to meaningless sludge and left to rot.

I am trying to wake up today and get myself back on track and at least get the engine facing in the right direction.

I woke up to find so many positive and supportive comments regarding my decision to post about my abortion. I was expecting to see some horrible comments but instead, I got the confirmation from God through all of you, that I did the right thing.

We may never know the reason behind why we are asked to do certain things from God, but I did it without thinking and without questioning it. I feel better for doing it. I don't feel like the enemy can use that one anymore as a reason to be ashamed about my past, cause I have published it for all the world to see. Can't use that one again on me.

Then Heather from *Beautiful Self* offered me a wonderful way to make me feel whole again. She awarded me the "Beautiful Self award", pictured above.

It changed my day instantly like God had personally tapped her on the shoulder and told her to send this my way, because I needed a pick me up. If you haven't read her blog or followed her, I honestly believe you should. It's like a surprise grab bag from God because you will never know what you'll get.

Sometimes she shares personal stories that are ones anyone can relate to, videos or music that has touched her in some way or even blogging about someone else. She is amazing and her blog is used by God in a very specific way. Please check her out, become a follower and best of all, comment her posts and let her know just what they meant to you. It's something that really means a lot.

I wanted to pass this along to some many others that I believe are also beautiful on the outside but especially on the inside.

1. dear craisin - is my daughter Caitlyn's blog. She is trying her hand at writing and would love to be encouraged and motivated by all the love and support you have all shown me. Written from the heart of a teenager whose goal it is to make the world a more beautiful place from her simply being here. Please stop by her blog and follow it.

2. Andrea at Arise to Write. She was one of the very first to begin to follow my blog and continues to inspire me by her own blog but by the comments she leaves on mine as well. She has a beautiful soul that challenges us to reach out and be better people to the hurting world around us. Stop by and become a follower today.

3. Lisa Shaw at Marriage Flavor deserves this award because of the beautiful things she write about to help so many of us hurting in our marriages today. She gives words from God's own sweet lips to help and pray for people in believing and non-believing marriages. I believe God is using her to battle for the marriages all over the world who find this shining light in a dark world.

4. Laurie at Supernatural Living - deserves this because she has also been a follower and fellow encourager in my deepest and darkest hours of blogging. She is so beautiful because she shares how to help the new blogger with things like linking your name and blog within your post so that posting recommendations makes things easy to people to find you and follow you. Thank you Laurie for emailing me personally to set that up!

5. Jennifer at Through the Storms of Life - for sharing her beautiful and personal journey of how she became a believer. Too often I feel people look at Christians and think we don't make mistakes once we are saved, or we have never walked in their shoes before, but we have. Thanks Jennifer for sharing how God has made your life a better one simply by knowing Him. Thanks also for the bedroom tips make over, not done with it yet, but changed the bedding last weekend and we love it already.

There are so many others that I follow but I am super confident thanks to Heather sharing this beautiful award to some many it will find it's way to other blogs we all have common ground with. Please don't let this sit but pass it along. You just never know how it will brighten someones day or even weekend for them.

A Tough Call

I have felt led in the last 24 hours by the Holy Spirit based on so many testimonies that I have read not only in the blogging world but in the news as well.

It leads me to share not only my own testimony in a particular area of my past to hopefully help someone in the same situation or perhaps someone that they know.
It deals with a very painful and shameful subject for me. It deals with abortion.

At 17, I thought I knew everything I needed to know as a high school teenager in a relationship with a boy for over a year. A boy I loved, in every sense of the word, that I knew it at the time. Someone I gave my heart to!

Someone I thought I would marry.

Someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

I woke up to what should have been a normal high school morning and I found out one morning that I was pregnant.

No amount of tears could ever be collected to show just how much I wish crying could erase everything in my life at that moment.

In an instant, my life changed. Forever.

My boyfriend offered his sympathy, but ultimately after the tears and sobs stopped, the question lingered.

"You aren’t going to keep it right?"

"You’re going to do the right thing and get rid of it right?"

"We’re only teenagers and not ready to be parents, you see that right?"

Even though these words came from the mouth of my boyfriend, it would take me many years later to see that they came from the enemy instead.

Of course at 17, I wasn’t prepared to have a baby much less raise one for the rest of my life.

At 14, my mom gave birth to my youngest sister, and it subsequently fell to me to raise her while my mom returned to work. She was a single mom at the time.

So I had spent the last three years, learning what it’s like to raise a baby and hating every minute of it. I had the diaper changes and feedings and constant care. I mean where was my life headed. What about my time?

Thankfully mom took care of the nights, so I didn’t see the things parents deal with at night or when you are at school. When it doesn’t end, the caring of a newborn.

I had already made a decision that day.

I was too young.

I didn’t want to share it with anyone.

I didn’t have an open relationship with my parents to discuss this.

My parents would have probably forced me to keep the baby, but if I didn’t tell them, they would never know.

So I hid my problem. My boyfriend worked, so he paid for my procedure. Let’s call it that for now. It still shames me to hear the word abortion and me in the same sentence.

I was wide-awake for the whole thing.

It was the most horrible thing a woman will ever have to deal with in her life.
No brochures, conversations, or videos can ever explain how you will feel when you go through it.

Besides the physical pain, you know without a doubt what you are doing.
You are ending a life inside you.

You made a choice to have sex and the consequence was pregnancy.

Now you have the choice to deal with it or run and hide.

I hid.

Once the procedure was over, I cried.

I cried for the pain I felt physically but more for the pain I felt emotionally and mentally.

I cried for the life I had taken so easily without a second thought.

I still cry for that life. A child that would be 28 today.

A child I will see again.

I wasn’t a Christian then.

My parents weren’t a religious family.

I have no excuse, what I did will live for me forever.

You will never get over it. You will never forget it.

But since I found God, He forgave me for it.

He took away my grief, my shame and my sadness for that life.

He cleaned me and made me whole again.

He covers my ears, so that I am no longer reminded by the enemy of my shame and shortcoming as a woman.

I shared this personal story today, because I believe it’s time for Christians to stand up for their beliefs. It was time for me to share something of my faith, because I believe people need to see Christians as something other than perfect and never doing anything wrong in their lives.

They need to know how our lives are different and how Jesus can change us. Make us better people because of His love.

I don’t support abortion and would strongly advise any option besides that one. Why?
Because I don’t want anyone to suffer the pain I still feel 28 years later, even though Jesus has forgive me.

I know some that stop by here will judge me. You have every right to do so. However, I believe God uses our circumstances to reach out to a hurting person and can say, "I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there. I can help you. Will you let me?"

God uses everything that happens to us for the good of reaching people that are hurting. People that don’t want to be judged. People that think so far less of themselves than they should. People that have no one. God uses people like me to reach people like you.

I share it because I have been there and can tell you, it’s not worth it. Jesus is! If you know someone who is considering abortion or you, who is reading this, just passing through is, please, stop.

Pray and ask God for help. This is not God’s answer to the problem. It’s the enemies! Don’t run away. Seek help in the Christian community and find a church. Talk to a pastor. Ask for help! You can even email me direct and I will talk to you. You are not alone! You are not worthless but worthy!

There is someone there that is just waiting for you to help you. Don’t forget God loves you and will be with you every step of the way. You will never face anything alone, ever again. I hope this has helped you.

It's Official, We Have a Junior!

Before you start to congratulate me on our recent addition, we didn't just have a baby! My baby booming days are O-V-E-R! Not that I mind kids, it's just now that mine are at the point of becoming somewhat self sufficient, like making their own breakfast, even though it isn't what mom would consider breakfast, like microwave hot dogs because they just taste great in the morning!

What I am talking about is my sophomore daughter has graduated officially today to a Junior! I even teased her that the word "Junior" should be at the end of her last name. She didn't find it as funny as I did.

Do kids ever?

We got all her grades in, turned in all her books, science fair projects, Geometry Projects, Spanish papers, and anything else that doesn't belong to her and handed it all over to the school.

What do we get in return, besides security and peace of mind that we don't have to locate a missing text book before the end of year?

Final Grades!

Yup, she mastered her second year of high school with straight A's.

Hey her standard, not ours. We are super excited she maintains it, but the effort she puts into it all year for her is apparently worth all the long nights, and study hours to get great test grades.

What excited her the most was the new title!

No more Sophomore! I mean I hated that title for a ten grader. Sop More? Sof More?

Nah, now it's Junior. Said with an air of distinction. Like a royal title that rolls off your tongue like honey!

Oh and the added bonus that she is now officially on her summer hiatus! NO more school.

No more grades.

No more tests!

No more studying!

Time to hang out with friends all summer long and make new memories!

Time to forget her school romance that didn't end well.

Her ex by the way, still can't believe she hasn't locked herself in her room, binging on chocolate, crying her eyes out and watching every romantic chick flick ever invented!

Um, not if mom and all her friends network can help it. Nope! Time to get out, and stay busy.

For now, we celebrate.

We celebrate the whole aspect of the possibilities of what a new year can bring, new friends, new activities, courses, college schedules and of course, the possibility of a new love!

For now, we relish the moment of the word, Junior!