Our Own Worst Critic

I often wonder when my life here is over, and I stand before God, what He will show me. I think He might show me the "could have been's" if I merely followed a different set of steps in my future. Far too often, I believe we pray for His direction in our day, but then we are the ones who get in our own way of possible success. Perhaps it is that we lack the confidence and faith to believe in the possibilities laid before us. I firmly believe that with my whole heart. Even if we have 100 people tell us that we need to go in the direction we believe God is leading us to, we second guess, judge ourselves and listen to the lies of the enemy that say, "You're not as good as you think you are."

We kill ourselves before we even get going. Even though there is gas in our tanks, we don't even want to grab the keys and jump in the car. But the honest point is that we don't know how close we might be to reaching the other side of the shore, if we simply give up. What is it is one more project to complete, that will start your business in a successful path? What if it is showing up one more day, prepared to tackle whatever lies in front of you, and then the path will open wide up? What if we are merely steps away from reaching that point, God has called us to, but we throw in the towel saying, "I'm done. I can't do this any more. I'm out."

What if it was merely changing how we view our attitude that day? There are so many what ifs, and it makes me curious, why do we tend to listen to the negative what ifs in our head, instead of what could be positive what ifs instead? I wonder if it is just a woman thing more often than it is with a man, because everything that we do and say, is all connected in a way. Everything touches something else in our life. I believe we are our own worst critic and while we pray for God to work in our situation, we are blocking the way. It's time to stop saying it's too late to begin again. To say you're too old to do something. It's time to stop accepting the lies of the enemy and start listening to that still small voice that cheers us on, and encourages us to keep moving forward. Stop quitting and start working harder to find out what God's will is for your life.

If you're unsure, pray for clarity. If you don't have the strength to go on, lean on God. If you will listen to the lies of the enemy, start listening to the whispers of the Spirit. In other words, girl, get out there and be all God has created you to be. Stop standing in the way, get out of the way and watch God work.

Today, I received another email from a big name Christian book publisher that they are closing their review program to everything but eBooks. While I can see their point in keeping costs low, there are so many that can't or don't have access to eBooks. I see this as another confirmation that I am meant to move forward in my path as a small business owner and slowly transition from a book reviewer to the new chapter God is laying before me. Whether I will continue to make wreaths and home decor for the next year or whether God is calling me to teach and encourage others, I will pray for wisdom to know the difference between what God's will is for me in my life, and what I want instead. I need to give it all up to God and walk in the path He has laid before me today.

How can I encourage or pray for you today?

The Final Summit

David Ponder is 74 and what many would consider a very successful man. He has built up his vast financial empire without borrowing any money to acquire his real estate holdings, which in itself could be considered by many to be the pinnacle of determining success.

However David Ponder isn't happy. What he wishes more than anything most days is to end his life and return to heaven where his wife has already gone before him. He misses her so much and even though its been eight months ago. She wasn't even sick when she passed, just went to bed after spending the night with his daughter Jenny and their grandkids and never woke up. Never even said good-bye.

David's success has been in part due to The Seven Decisions that have been endowed to him as a gift from the angel Gabriel. He has allowed David to journey back in time to meet with people to provide him with wisdom and knowledge to move his life forward in the present. He values these encounters more than anything. He keeps the memories with him in a small worn out navy blue tobacco pouch. This encourage and motivate him when things or life get too hard to manage. Tonight is one of those nights.

Only tonight the archangel, Gabriel, has another plan for David. Is he about to get his wish to see Ellen or will Gabriel have a bigger message to show David?



In the sequel to the book, The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrew, The Final Summit continues our story once more with David Ponder. In this book the fate of all mankind may be in his own hands. How he will use his time and what decisions he will make will change things for everyone forever.

I received this book compliments of Thomas Nelson Publishers for my honest review. Since I hadn't read the first book, I was wondering if I would be missing out on anything. Yet being the master as weaving a heart-warming story once more, Andy takes us all on that journey and gives us a peek back into the gifts found in the first book as David revisits them one night.

Once in your life you come across prolific writers who in the creating of a story do more than just write a book, they change your life. Forever. This book does just that. It will change how you view every decision you will ever come across and face. It will challenge you to face your fears or be ruled by them forever, changing nothing. It gives us hope, provides wisdom, encourages courage, and teaches us self-discipline in the process. It restores what God had created in all of us. For that, I personally thank you Andy Andrews. This one, you won't want to miss. Hands down it inspires as never before with 5 amazing and talented stars. If you have never read a book penned by Mr. Andrews, start with this one, and then be prepared to capture his entire library of books. I know for one, I am.

Like The Noticer and The Heart Mender, The Final Summit will be joining them in my personal library and be read over and over again, sharing their life stories with friends and family.

This book is available in hardcover, CD, and eBook formats. For more information about this book, The Final Summit by Andy Andrews, more on the author including his website and where to pick up this copy, click on the link below:

The Final Summit by Andy Andrews

Andy Andrew's Website

A Tough Call

I have felt led in the last 24 hours by the Holy Spirit based on so many testimonies that I have read not only in the blogging world but in the news as well.

It leads me to share not only my own testimony in a particular area of my past to hopefully help someone in the same situation or perhaps someone that they know.
It deals with a very painful and shameful subject for me. It deals with abortion.

At 17, I thought I knew everything I needed to know as a high school teenager in a relationship with a boy for over a year. A boy I loved, in every sense of the word, that I knew it at the time. Someone I gave my heart to!

Someone I thought I would marry.

Someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

I woke up to what should have been a normal high school morning and I found out one morning that I was pregnant.

No amount of tears could ever be collected to show just how much I wish crying could erase everything in my life at that moment.

In an instant, my life changed. Forever.

My boyfriend offered his sympathy, but ultimately after the tears and sobs stopped, the question lingered.

"You aren’t going to keep it right?"

"You’re going to do the right thing and get rid of it right?"

"We’re only teenagers and not ready to be parents, you see that right?"

Even though these words came from the mouth of my boyfriend, it would take me many years later to see that they came from the enemy instead.

Of course at 17, I wasn’t prepared to have a baby much less raise one for the rest of my life.

At 14, my mom gave birth to my youngest sister, and it subsequently fell to me to raise her while my mom returned to work. She was a single mom at the time.

So I had spent the last three years, learning what it’s like to raise a baby and hating every minute of it. I had the diaper changes and feedings and constant care. I mean where was my life headed. What about my time?

Thankfully mom took care of the nights, so I didn’t see the things parents deal with at night or when you are at school. When it doesn’t end, the caring of a newborn.

I had already made a decision that day.

I was too young.

I didn’t want to share it with anyone.

I didn’t have an open relationship with my parents to discuss this.

My parents would have probably forced me to keep the baby, but if I didn’t tell them, they would never know.

So I hid my problem. My boyfriend worked, so he paid for my procedure. Let’s call it that for now. It still shames me to hear the word abortion and me in the same sentence.

I was wide-awake for the whole thing.

It was the most horrible thing a woman will ever have to deal with in her life.
No brochures, conversations, or videos can ever explain how you will feel when you go through it.

Besides the physical pain, you know without a doubt what you are doing.
You are ending a life inside you.

You made a choice to have sex and the consequence was pregnancy.

Now you have the choice to deal with it or run and hide.

I hid.

Once the procedure was over, I cried.

I cried for the pain I felt physically but more for the pain I felt emotionally and mentally.

I cried for the life I had taken so easily without a second thought.

I still cry for that life. A child that would be 28 today.

A child I will see again.

I wasn’t a Christian then.

My parents weren’t a religious family.

I have no excuse, what I did will live for me forever.

You will never get over it. You will never forget it.

But since I found God, He forgave me for it.

He took away my grief, my shame and my sadness for that life.

He cleaned me and made me whole again.

He covers my ears, so that I am no longer reminded by the enemy of my shame and shortcoming as a woman.

I shared this personal story today, because I believe it’s time for Christians to stand up for their beliefs. It was time for me to share something of my faith, because I believe people need to see Christians as something other than perfect and never doing anything wrong in their lives.

They need to know how our lives are different and how Jesus can change us. Make us better people because of His love.

I don’t support abortion and would strongly advise any option besides that one. Why?
Because I don’t want anyone to suffer the pain I still feel 28 years later, even though Jesus has forgive me.

I know some that stop by here will judge me. You have every right to do so. However, I believe God uses our circumstances to reach out to a hurting person and can say, "I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there. I can help you. Will you let me?"

God uses everything that happens to us for the good of reaching people that are hurting. People that don’t want to be judged. People that think so far less of themselves than they should. People that have no one. God uses people like me to reach people like you.

I share it because I have been there and can tell you, it’s not worth it. Jesus is! If you know someone who is considering abortion or you, who is reading this, just passing through is, please, stop.

Pray and ask God for help. This is not God’s answer to the problem. It’s the enemies! Don’t run away. Seek help in the Christian community and find a church. Talk to a pastor. Ask for help! You can even email me direct and I will talk to you. You are not alone! You are not worthless but worthy!

There is someone there that is just waiting for you to help you. Don’t forget God loves you and will be with you every step of the way. You will never face anything alone, ever again. I hope this has helped you.