The Older I Get

I remember growing up, I looked forward to growing older. When I was younger, I couldn't wait til my next birthday, my first double digit, my first 'teen' birthday, "sweet 16", 18 so I could be an  adult and then 21 when pretty much everything was legal. Now that I am older, I notice, I am no longer looking forward to getting older, in fact, I long to linger in whatever year I am currently at and cringe that time continues to roll forward.


I've noticed a few things as I do get older, there are definitely more aches and pains and those that I do get seem to last quite a bit longer than they used to. Things don't heal quite as quickly as I remember and recovery certainly takes a whole lot longer. Have you noticed that as well?

Experience teaches us that life will always continue to move on a forward momentum and often times seems to be speeding up instead of growing along in those graceful golden oldie moments. In fact, I just got my AARP card in the mail and thought why not? All these years must mean something right?Who doesn't want to take advantage of things like your senior discount, although I am not quite there just yet, but close.

I also notice how hard it is to continue along at the same pace as when you were younger. I appreciate and long for naps now. I'm not the night owl I was in my early teens and hate getting up early. For me, sleep and bedtime is now part of my favorite time of the day. It's a time for me to simply catch my breath and take a break from the demands life has placed on me during the day. I love vacations, holidays and days off from simply having things planned. I love the spur of the moment decisions and often times those are some of the best memories I have, the unplanned ones.

I often wonder what life will be like in the next five years much less ten. I know fitness and stay healthy continue to be a challenge. Every ten years our bodies metabolisms change and it becomes that much harder to lose weight than if I would have done it 10 years earlier. So much is changing and it seems like we are struggling to stay ahead of the fast pace. I fear, if we don't, we'll be left far too behind to catch up.

There are plenty of older jokes where you simply give up caring what people think of you. Age doesn't seem to be such an issue as it was when you were younger, and to that I can agree. I'm not ashamed of how old I am, but no longer am excited when someone asks either. I can see that time is a great teacher. It shows that the mistakes we make are great learning tools to ensure we don't make them again and most of all so we can share them with those around us. How quickly I notice that younger people have a tendency to write off our advice simply because they don't believe we can relate to what they are going through, and perhaps looking back, I can see I might have been the very same.

However, now I treasure the advice from those much older than I am. There is something to be said for all that time they have lived on this earth and I hope I have plenty more opportunities to not only take to those elderly around me, but to learn so much from them in the time they have left. I hope one day someone will look at me in much the same way as I am looking at my elders now. There is so much to learn from those who have gone before you. I just hope I am not too late.

Real Women!

I just finished watching an episode of the Bachlourette this past Monday and was heart broken by what I saw. The girl's name is Jillian and she came from a past episode of the Bachelor when she was left high and dry at the alter. She was proposed to, but it never came to pass.

My heart breaks for this poor girl because she seems like the girl next door. She is pretty although I wouldn't call her drop dead gorgeous. I guess everyone has an opinion on what gorgeous is anyway. My heart goes out to her because she is in pursuit of what every woman wants, love. Pure, honest, don't lie to me just to get me to go out with you, love.

In the course of the last two weeks she has had one guy completely use her to further his career by being on the show and lasting as long as he had, with a girlfriend at home, no less. Could love be so blind on her end, she couldn't see this person for what he was?

Do we, in pursuit of love, put blinders on and jump at the chance for happiness no matter what lies ahead?

I am saddened because watching someone get their heart broken, makes me cry real tears. I hate to see it. Even during break ups, one person gets their heart broken and the other does the breaking up.

No wonder society has labeled perfect women as being 5'7" to 5'9", about 120-130, thin as a rail, works out all the time, generally isn't married and has the perfect career so she doesn't depend on anyone for financial well being. They also fall in range from 25-35 years old. They are also a size 2-5.

Now don't get me wrong there are plenty of women that meet all these criteria and there is nothing wrong with any of them. They are the lucky ones, blessed with youthful skin, no kids most of the time, and a super high metabolism. For the ones looking for love, for most men, this the also the criteria for the perfect wife.

The sad reality is, most women don't fit that bill. We are the ones that are over 35, range in height from 5'4 to 5'8", weigh between 130 and up, and have real curves. For the most part, we also have not received any kind of plastic surgery to enhance that look. We are the girl next doors, the ones that don't fit societies model for the perfect woman.

This is why girls in their pre-teens are constantly focused on looks, weight, and status of rank within the school population and this carries on until they get married, if they can maintain their looks. This is where suicide rates climb and so do the number of cases of bulemia and anorexia for these teens.

These are the same women who diet pill manufacturers are trying to market their products to. We must fit the image society deems as appropriate.

Wait a minute. Real women have curves. Real women are comfortable enough with themselves to be happy being them. Do you know that the average size for women isn't 3-5, but 14 to 16?

I know for every woman out there reading this, we are never happy with what we look like. We always want to look better, be better, feel better, so we pursue the status society labels for us. We get our hair and nails done, try and look our best all the time, and keep our hubby's eyes from wandering. We want approval. We want recognition. We want love. Real, honest, no lies, love, forever. Love that doesn't leave us for the younger more updated model of us.

I am glad that at 45, I am content with as good as it gets. I am 5'7" and weigh 185. I know it's a lot higher number than what I would like, but I am not 20 any more. I am not 30. Each year our bodies change so much that taking weight off in our early 20's is a bigger challenge the older we get. Our metabolism shuts down. Heck I was a huge workout freak in my early 30's but I had just faced a divorce, so I had to fit societies mold or risk being left alone with kids for the rest of my life. Face it looks, attract.

I am not making excuses, but I'd rather go rollerskating with my kids on a Saturday than sweating it out alone in the gym. I'd rather sit on the couch with my hubby than spend the day getting my hair and nails done. I'd rather eat cheesecake because just one slice is pure heaven on earth to me, than a large green salad with no cheese and dressing on the side.

I still work on looking nice, doing my hair and makeup, getting dressed nice, but I am comfortable with who I am. Hubby says he is too! He likes me that way I am. If you ask him if he would like some improvements, he would probably say yes, but then he would say he needs them as well.

So we are aging and growing older together, the way God intended it to be. It is sad to watch marriages and relationships fall by the way side, because women gain more weight over time and they aren't the same size as they were when they met them. If they won't attempt to improve, there is the door. Goodbye. Not all marriages or relationships are that shallow and based on those stats, but I have seen personally my fair share.

The sad thing is, we are all going to die someday, whether we work out or not, whether we look good or not, and sure we can try to keep from dying any sooner than we want, but ultimately only God knows when our number is up. Isn't not like He is going to change His mind just because you finally got your looks where society thinks they should be. I have seen people beat themselves to death with working out and eating all the right things, and drop dead riding bikes with their kids. Now that is what I'd call irony!

For now, I would be happy if we would take the focus off how women look and put it on how we can improve world hunger all over the world or helping out people less fortunate than ourselves. I think there are definitely more important things in life besides looks. Everyone gets older!

Sounds of Aging

Yes, I realize we live in a world where we will all eventually grow older. There comes a time however, when we wake up one morning look in the mirror and it isn't the same person staring back at us any longer.

You begin to wonder, do we seriously age overnight or was last night a really bad night and these are the effects of that night?

These are the things I have begun to notice over the last year. Let's start at the top since that is what you seem to notice first because at some point we are always looking in the mirror.

The first thing was the added changes to my face in the form of age spots. Where did they ever get a name like that? How about sun spots or something a little less 'aging?"

I guess those years of spending literally all day at the beach were now finally playing a mean game of catch up. I spent entire summers, from sunrise to sunset hanging at the beach. I mean, it's where I grew up.

So the process begins of trying to hide them with make up only it really doesn't do the justice, so you try and wear your hair a bit differently. I guess wearing it hanging in your face only works in teens anymore, not quite becoming on a 45 year old.

Then I notice hair loss and dryness. I would blow dry my hair and suddenly I was shedding more hair than my cat. My hubby asked for any possible left overs of mine to glue on his. Yeah sure, like that will really help me.

So I begin to buy all this anti aging and breakage hair products to see if I can begin to keep more than I am losing. I mean bald men are quite hot in my opinion but bald women, NOT!

I notice I don't have the energy level I once did either and can't eat certain foods.

I make what my hubby and I have coined the old people noise when we attempt to put on our socks. I have discovered if you put your socks on before your pants, it's a lot easier.

We tried putting in a brick planter for our roses this weekend and realized sometimes if you keep your body in a hunched over position for too long, it does want to stick that way. I guess my parents were right, it just wasn't your silly face but you body that would eventually stay that way.

So we huff it off to the spa. We installed it for moments like this. Now we just need someone to come get us out. Life sure does have its moments as you grow old and who said it was fun! Hey, it's almost 8am, it's time for bed soon! We can't stay up like all those party days any more either. At least for now, I have someone to help me up as long as he can get up.