Conforming to New Changes

Change is hard.

I mean at times, it can really be hard.

Pull your hair out, scream at the top of your lungs hard, but none of that changes that change is here.

As a former corporate trainer, I used to teach a class on Adapting to Change, so while it might seem to you that I can probably weather the storm a bit better, I still am human. I still want to pull my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs.

It's like trying to battle back the waves at the beach.

You can try as hard as you can, but you will get no where.

The best thing you can do, is to find ways to accept the new normal. Or sure running and hiding might help for a short time, but sooner or later, you have to come out from where you're hiding and face facts. Change is here.

For my family, this will be a year of changes in almost every area of our lives.

My youngest daughter is getting married before the end of the year. Big change, financially for all of us.

My oldest is moving again and of course, the old landlord is being a bit of a pain, so working through those issues can put a lot of stress on a family.

My husband is now having to travel more, meaning all those things that need to get done, have to wait or I have to hire someone to do it, so it won't be something he has to do on whatever free time he has.

I am moving forward with my small business and still having to manage all the other areas of change as well with everyone else's change. Can you relate?

As a wife and mom, our change doesn't just affect us. Everyone else's change affects us as well. At times, it can feel downright overwhelming. You seriously consider running away from it all, but in the end, it doesn't do anything because everything is still right there when you come back to your senses.

As much as we can try to plan for change, plans can change. People can lose their jobs. Health issues might take a bigger precedence in our lives over the minor ones. And our kids never stop being our kids even though they're married and out on their own.

The one thing I do know is that you can manage. You just need to stay within the borders of today, and stop worrying about tomorrow. Remember, you've heard me tell you before that a tomorrow is never guaranteed. So manage within what you CAN do today. It helps you from feeling like a plane crash survivor and more like you can do this. I believe that is why woman are so good at managing things and being able to multi-task.

Just don't forget to take care of yourself. Even it is just locking the bathroom door for 5 minutes and being completely alone, except for the pounding on the other side of the door, asking if you are in there? Or the paws that reach out under the door.

Everyone seems to want a piece of us.

Just make sure you take care of you. Even Jesus had to walk away from the crowds and pray talking to His Father. It helps us to balance everything else out.

If you feel overwhelmed at this moment, have you prayed about it? Have you prayed that God will give you the strength to face today? Not worry about next week or even tomorrow. Ask God to help you manage the overload of what is happening to you today. I pray that if you do, God will show up and you'll get through it just fine.

You might smell like smoke, but you will survive. Tomorrow is simply another day on the battlefield of life. Get some rest and don't forget to talk to God! 

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Spring is just around the corner and already new life is just bursting at the seams wanting to break forth with newness inside. I know my poor trees and rose bushes barely had a chance to take their winter's nap before the temperatures became unseasonably warm and thus they are beginning to prepare for spring sooner than they normally would. In fact my poor willow tree had barely just shed it's leaves and already new buds were beginning to form. Now the tree is filled with potential new life just waiting for the pollination of our bees which are just buzzing each time I walk outside to check our mail. Kinda sad when you think about it too.

It reminds me of the nursery rhyme of Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, How does your garden grow? I'm not even ready to head outside and begin preparing the plants for another tough season. So why should it matter. It might still grow without any help from me. It might gain enough moisture from whatever rain we get, even though in Southern California, it hasn't been much at all. In fact as of today, just four days in just four months.

I remember when I first moved into our current home, I feel in love with a plum tree in our neighbor's yard, the beautiful pink blossoms just waiting to bear fruit in due time. Over this last year, however they simply stopped caring for their yard, they stopped watering it, and I guess I can understand in light of the drought we are having. Water can get expensive. But to look at his yard now, it's sad because the tree is now almost dead. I'm sure that it might come back with some loving care, but left to its own, I'm not sure we will see anything this year from it.

When you look at your own garden how does it grow? Are you one of those green thumb types who can grow anything with just the right look? Or are you the prayerful type that when you plant something, you hope it doesn't die and often pray that it doesn't?

I've had to ask myself these same questions and to be perfectly honest, my garden outside pretty much looks like my marriage on the inside. It needs some serious work if it's going to last this year. I'm not be any means saying my marriage is falling apart, but much like my garden outside, if I am looking for some strong roots and blooms to fill my plants, I have to invest some serious time. It will stay if I don't because Steve and I have vowed our marriage will never end in divorce but if I want something more than mediocre, I have to put some time in.

Now to be fair, marriage is about both people putting in equal time, but I can't control my husband. Oh how I wish I could, because I know it would be so much easier with both of us working on it at the same time, but because I am held to a higher standard as a believer in Christ, I will have some answering to do before God if I don't. Simply put, love is all about action, and it is only love when it acts.

It's not about saying all the right things, it's about doing all the right things. Love is a verb, it isn't a noun. It's all about showing the other person, that they are the most important person in the world next to God in your life. That you are willing to put aside all your own interests and instead ask the question, What can I do for you to make your day better?

For us wives, I think the question we need to ask ourselves is how are we doing at our job as a wife? Honestly ask the question, "Am I being the best wife I can be to my husband today?"

If I am 100% honest, I can say, "No, I am not."

So as you can see, I have some work to do but in my garden and in my marriage. I want to invest the time, because I want a marriage that is vibrant, strong, sustaining despite the world around us that simply wants to redefine what marriage is. I want to do it God's way and not my own. So we need to heed the words of Winston Churchill, Britain's Prime Minister who in the midst of the war, stated, "Victory is not won by evacuation."

It's time to dig deep and invest some time. Be filled with God's Spirit because you can't win this war on your own and the enemy wants nothing more than to destroy our marriages. Are you with me?