Conforming to New Changes

Change is hard.

I mean at times, it can really be hard.

Pull your hair out, scream at the top of your lungs hard, but none of that changes that change is here.

As a former corporate trainer, I used to teach a class on Adapting to Change, so while it might seem to you that I can probably weather the storm a bit better, I still am human. I still want to pull my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs.

It's like trying to battle back the waves at the beach.

You can try as hard as you can, but you will get no where.

The best thing you can do, is to find ways to accept the new normal. Or sure running and hiding might help for a short time, but sooner or later, you have to come out from where you're hiding and face facts. Change is here.

For my family, this will be a year of changes in almost every area of our lives.

My youngest daughter is getting married before the end of the year. Big change, financially for all of us.

My oldest is moving again and of course, the old landlord is being a bit of a pain, so working through those issues can put a lot of stress on a family.

My husband is now having to travel more, meaning all those things that need to get done, have to wait or I have to hire someone to do it, so it won't be something he has to do on whatever free time he has.

I am moving forward with my small business and still having to manage all the other areas of change as well with everyone else's change. Can you relate?

As a wife and mom, our change doesn't just affect us. Everyone else's change affects us as well. At times, it can feel downright overwhelming. You seriously consider running away from it all, but in the end, it doesn't do anything because everything is still right there when you come back to your senses.

As much as we can try to plan for change, plans can change. People can lose their jobs. Health issues might take a bigger precedence in our lives over the minor ones. And our kids never stop being our kids even though they're married and out on their own.

The one thing I do know is that you can manage. You just need to stay within the borders of today, and stop worrying about tomorrow. Remember, you've heard me tell you before that a tomorrow is never guaranteed. So manage within what you CAN do today. It helps you from feeling like a plane crash survivor and more like you can do this. I believe that is why woman are so good at managing things and being able to multi-task.

Just don't forget to take care of yourself. Even it is just locking the bathroom door for 5 minutes and being completely alone, except for the pounding on the other side of the door, asking if you are in there? Or the paws that reach out under the door.

Everyone seems to want a piece of us.

Just make sure you take care of you. Even Jesus had to walk away from the crowds and pray talking to His Father. It helps us to balance everything else out.

If you feel overwhelmed at this moment, have you prayed about it? Have you prayed that God will give you the strength to face today? Not worry about next week or even tomorrow. Ask God to help you manage the overload of what is happening to you today. I pray that if you do, God will show up and you'll get through it just fine.

You might smell like smoke, but you will survive. Tomorrow is simply another day on the battlefield of life. Get some rest and don't forget to talk to God! 

Leading By Example!

Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave – just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20: 26-28

Remember the childhood game of following the leader? I am sure you all do but I was doing a study this week on how as moms we can run ourselves completely dry to the point of looking at our loving family and wondering just where did all that love go?

As moms, it is so easy from the moment that our precious babies are laid in our arms to sacrifice anything for that child. It even follows suit with our husbands; we would love and care for them unconditionally even trading places with them if one of us had to die. We would do it without hesitation and without question.

So where do moms find the time to refill, to recharge our batteries or to get back some of our deposits we have been making into everyone else’s love banks when we are receiving overdrawn notices on our banks?

Moms naturally possess the servant’s heart that Jesus did while he was here as a man on Earth. But Jesus also understood the needs for a perfect balance to all those people pressing Him for healing or just being in His presence.

You guessed it, He removed Himself from those needy people that were always all around Him and went to a hilltop, a home of a family, or even a boat at sea. He recharged during those times, by prayer and immersing Himself in His Father’s words. Often spending all night in prayer and conversation with His Father.

This is how Jesus remained balanced and able to fully give of Himself the very next day. Full of love and compassion, we as moms find ourselves depleted of by the very next morning with that first request of our time.

We need to spend time in prayer, study, and immersing ourselves in God’s word, His diary! This is how we can wake with a completely different attitude than the one we went to bed with.

In the work place, a good manager will not just ask his employees to do something new; he will model that behavior or show them how. They don’t just expect you to know it.

So we are moms need to be wary of the types of behaviors are children are watching us model both the good and bad. Children will follow parents by what they see them do more than what they are told to do.

Do you ever find yourselves repeating the things you mom said, or even doing things your mom did? See how the pattern develops both good and bad?

Moms are constant givers and we will often put our needs last above all the needs of people in our family. We need to maintain a balance otherwise we can feel taken advantage of, and lose our perspective.

Here's another great tip, when people ask to help, LET THEM! I know if you are like me, we tell others that it's OK, we've got it, go ahead and relax or perhaps we just feel guilty and feel it's our job. Well let that go and when your kids, husband, or even guests offer to do anything, smile and take them up on their offer to help. This is another reason we run too short on our energy.

As most of us are beginning or have already started the school year, this is where moms will experience the most burn out. Between the start of our days and the end, we will be tasked to do more than ever before. At the end of the night, we will be lucky if we can lay our heads on our pillows without one more request being made.

I encourage you to make this a priority each morning to rise just a little bit early and spend 30 minutes with God. After all, it will be just the boost we need to get our days going on a positive note.

Invisible Mothers

Invisible Mothers...

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or vacuuming, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. I'm the invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to ask, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. Going, going, gone!

One night, a group of us were celebrating the return of a friend from England. I was sitting there, looking around at the others who were all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when my friend turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: '...with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In reading the book, I discovered four life-changing truths: *No one can say who built the great cathedrals- we have no record of their names.

*These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

*They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

*The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

When I finished the book, I felt the missing piece fall into place. I heard God whisper, 'I see you. I see what you do every day, even when no one else does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

I don't want my child to tell the friend she's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving dinner that her Mom gets up at 5 in the morning, bakes pies; hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table. I just want her to want to come home. If there is anything more for her to say to her friend, I want her to add 'you're gonna love it here.'

We are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world because of invisible women.

Family Fun Magazine Offer for $ 4.95

Yes, you read it correctly. An entire year's worth of great family fun ideas for only $ 4.95.

I thought I would post it here because there are so many moms out there that need some new ideas for how to keep kids both entertained and learning. I found this at No Ordinary Moments blog this morning and tried it out. It works. My new subscription is on it's way for a mere $4.95.

This is something too good not to pass along. So stop by Jolanthe's blog and try it out. You may even follow her blog as well since it's so great for moms and families!

The Ultimate Mother's Day

I am curious if any of you have ever had the most memorable, incredible Mother's Day? If so, would you like to share? I have had a couple and let me share them with you.

I was cleaning out my master bedroom side tables, you know the one's that we fill with everything imaginable. In mine, I found all kinds of medicines that one might need but doesn't want to get out of bed to take, cold meds, nasal spray, cough drops, neosporine, Advil and some others, and since I always take a glass of water to bed with me, it makes it so much easier. I found tons of books I have read and just filed away to perhaps pass along to a friend who needs inspiration or a really great story. I love inspirational books so I collect those. I think at one point I had every Chicken Soup for the Soul volume before they began making them for every personality type.

Also I am a sucker for anything relating to Christmas. So tucked inside one of these books were a handful of cards that I had been given throughout the years by friends. Inside these cards I kept were the most inspiring and motivational words. Now in reading them, I was taken to the time when I received them and by whom and I remember why I had saved them. They were meant to go into a rainy day box, to keep for whenever life hands you not only one lemon but a whole bag. You are supposed to look inside that box and be filled with those happy thoughts again.

So one of my most memorable Mother's Day began with a request from a lady whom lived on the east coast in Florida. She was a registered nurse and we met when I formed a forum for "40 Somethings" in Self Magazines website. For over a year, this site became one of the top three busiest forums. I was asked to submit a picture and do a phone interview with the magazine as to our success since the forum was one I created. I met some great friends that I never met, but felt a kindred bond with.

So just before Mother's Day we were chatting on line and were talking about how so many Mother's days were a flop and a let down simply because our families didn't really know what to do. There was the traditional brunches, flowers, breakfast in beds and cards but we always felt something was missing. So we agreed to send each other a care box of sorts filled with all kinds of stuff we thought the other one would like. We didn't set a money limit and we let our hearts decide just how to fill it. We agreed to send it one week before Mother's Day and call each other when the packages arrived.

I sent Kari, all kinds of things, cute travel coffee mugs, lotions of her favorite scents, scented candles, chocolate, inspirational books, stress kits with hand massagers, oils, and fuzzy slippers. I pictured my box as a spa in a box. I topped it off with a beautiful handwritten card.

It was such a great surprise when during that week, we were each expecting a great box filled with love. I was like the biggest kid waiting for the UPS man to arrive. Mine was no disappointment either, I got lotions, chocolates, fuzzy socks, books of all kinds, candles, a beautiful Mother picture frame, and some Disney pins since I was collecting them from the first Pirates movies and Florida had some I just couldn't get.

Let's just say, women really know what women need and want! Another year, I wanted to just have a day alone, since being a busy, working mom at the time of two girls and a working hubby, that on that day, I just wanted a day of peace and quiet. So hubby and the girls made me breakfast in bed that morning. After clearing away my dishes, they brought in my DVD collection of chick flicks and a ton of snacks, and said they were leaving for a day of movies and lunch. They would be calling later to see if I wanted anything special for lunch. Nothing was off limits. I called for chili dogs from Wienersnitzel. They topped off the day with dinner from my favorite restaurant, Chilis. I loved a day where I got to just enjoy the peace and quiet of a day of well deserved rest and the only needs that I had to met were my own.

I would love to hear about some of your most memorable Mother's Days and what made them special to you! Can't wait.