Happy Birthday to the Man I Will Always Love!

I just wanted to take this opportunity to share with all of you that it's my husband Steven's 44th Birthday today. I've had the most wonderful 14 years of being married to him and calling him my husband, but 17 years of finding and discovering the best friend, I thought I'd never find.

I can honestly say I love him more today than ever before mostly because of the ups and downs life has handed us during the time we've known one another. How God has used the storms of life to draw us both nearer not only to Him for our faith and hope but also to one another, for comfort, strength and knowing that it's only made us closer to each other.

I wanted to thank him for supporting a ready made family with me and my daughter, Caitlyn who he willingly accepted both battered and emotionally spent from a difficult divorce. He restored my self esteem and created a role model for what a husband should look like not only Caitlyn, but for the daughter we would share together when we had Kailee. He continues to encourage us, support us and provide for us not only as a husband and father, but shares his struggles at his daily spiritual walk with God. He's not perfect, but he's perfect for us.

Wishing you, Steven, a very Happy and Blessed Birthday. May God provide an overflowing abundance of blessings headed your way not only as you celebrate your birthday, but in the days, weeks and years to come for your faithfulness at leading our family!

Here's a video dedicated to what you mean to all of us! Happy Birthday Babe!

Happy 43rd Birthday Baby!

Today I celebrate the birth of my husband, Steve, exactly 43 years ago today! I thank his parents, Bill and Vera for the gift of his life today. Not knowing who he would marry or if he would, he has become my biggest hero next to Jesus.

He is Jesus in human form for me, teaching me His ways through my time with him on earth and the best part is that I get to enjoy him for an eternity as well. He has become a huge spiritual leader in our family and shows us daily through unconditionally loving us when at times, we can be quite unlovable.

He provides me with strength so that I don't have to go through tough times alone, we weather most of our storms together. He's my fairy tale come true, even though most don't believe in fairy tales.

I can tell you that I won't change a thing in my life, cause if I did, it might mean I don't get to share it with Steve. So today, while we take a journey in a fairy tale like way, going to Disneyland, I wanted to wish him a very Happy Birthday today!

You can be my pirate and keep my storms from overwhelming me!

You can be the fireworks that light up my darkest days.

You can take me into infinity and beyond showing me how to be a better wife and mother, by walking in God's light.

You can remind me to become like a child again so we can enter the kingdom of heaven and remember to laugh again, play and never take this life so serious.

Happy Birthday Steven! May God continue to bless your life in so many ways that you will always be the richest man alive!

Blog of the Week! ~ Gotta Have Faith

My family who also blogs had asked me when they might be interviewed for the Blog of the Week award that I share with each of you each and every Sunday. So today is the day you get to meet one of the most important people in my life, my husband and best friend Steven.

I think it's great that he blogs when he has time. He is super busy being our sole supporter in our home so that I can be at home and take care of things here so it's one less thing he has to worry about. For quite a few years we both worked and it is so difficult when your child is sick or has a family function to decided how you can work being there for them. Work isn't generally very understanding when it comes to the needs of family over work.

I think we both knew we were destined to be together after spending almost 3 years as best friends and seeing each other through some of the worst times imaginable. He saw me through a bad divorce and child custody issue and I was there for him when his beloved Grandmother went home to be with God. We both had relationships going with other people during those years but someone I believe God wanted us with each other because it was His plans for us. He was going to use us together for His glory.

It isn't often we come across some amazing men that blog and walk with God so when I find them I really am excited to share them all with you. So today I share his interview with all of you and hope that you decide to become part of his followers today at Gotta Have Faith.

1. Why did you first begin blogging?

I first started blogging back on May 30th if this year, as a way to have a hobby and write about my life, interests, and walk with the Lord. At the time, I was so very busy with work I could not see where work ended and life with my family began! It was just one BIG Blur! For the Past year I had been traveling all over the country working 70-80 hours a week! NO JOKE! I was gone so much around 4-5 weeks at a time, then home for 4-5 days then back out again for another 4-5 weeks that my wife and children were starting to forget me.

By the time I was finally able to stay home and work locally, my wife started blogging and just loved it! It was a way for her to stay busy while I was gone so much! She suggested that I start my own blog as a way to stay in touch if I was going to be gone more and to write about whatever I wanted. So my first Blog was about Time Management, something I still struggle with ha ha. Now I blog as a hobby and try to keep up with her ( Impossible!), she is so well organized and has so much imagination it isn't even fair! Okay, next question.

2. Why did you name your blog, Gotta Have Faith?

I named my "Blog Gotta Have Faith" because at the time, my wife and I were going through some really rough times. I had to put my faith in God that we would be able to weather the storm together while I was working so much! I could not imagine life without her! I had somehow put my work before my marriage and as we all know that can end in disaster! So anyway, that is why I named my Blog, Gotta Have Faith.

3. What are your three biggest achievements in life?

• Giving myself over to God at the Calvary Chapel in Riverside in front of Pastor Greg Laurie. He is such a wonderful speaker that I feel God is talking through him. I felt so at ease when I was at his Church and even now that I am at Calvary in the High Desert.

• Finding such a wonderful woman and getting married to my best friend, and soul mate! She might not know it, but she has saved me in so many ways! I don't think I am ever good enough for her. She is my rock and keeps me grounded.

• Buying a house together so we could raise our family. Somewhere where we could plant roots, feel safe in this crazy world, and grow together as husband and wife, mother and father.

4. How did you know God is real?

This kind of goes back to the Gotta Have Faith in question 1. I learn more every time I go to church based on the writing of the Old and New Testament. Learning how there were so many people present when Jesus Christ performed so many miracles, and yet he was still crucified for what? Loving men and women and showing how to walk a righteous path! It is my faith in God that keeps me knowing that he is real.

5. What is the greatest advice you can give as a husband?

Be Humble and put your Wife first! If you try to put your wife first, everything else will work itself out. I need to put myself in her shoes, try to understand what she is going through. I still have problems with this as well, but I am a work in progress...Go Figure!

6. What is the greatest advice you can give as a father?

Listen, learn, be firm without being angry, and being a role model for my children. My family trait is to yell first and listen later. I have had such a time learning patience, listening before I give advice or help answer their questions or problems. I pray that I will have taught my children all they need to know before they brave this world on their own.


7. What are you three favorite smells and why?

• The Ocean! There is just something about catching the scent of the salt and beach.
• The Forest! Smelling pine trees, a river, it smells so clean and fresh!
• The Rain! Just before and when starts to rain, you know that smell I am talking about.

So if you find yourself being led to pay Steve a visit, become a follower of his as well and encourage him on his journey to do what I believe God has asked him to do at Gotta Have Faith.

My Best Friend!

Today is the start of something special even though it’s just a Monday for most of you and something you are not looking forward to. However most of us can’t get to the weekend without having a starting point of some kind, so for most of us, Monday is it.

This Monday is different. This Monday celebrates the life of my hubby Steven Smith. He is turning 41 today. It seems like he has been 40 forever. Nice rounded off number with a zero at the end and probably one of the best numbers we would like to see before we hit the big 50. Steve and I joked about it some time ago that once you hit 40, you have to begin to take numbers off and begin to count backwards from there. So if that is the case he is turning 39 today.


Christmas Photo at Disneyland

Steve is the youngest of a family of three and had never been married prior to us meeting. I met him when I became his boss as a Service Manager for L.A. Cellular back in 1996. I heard he was going to be the most difficult part of my job in taking on this position because he was the rumored bad boy. Argumentative, hostile, and definitely not a team player.

Yikes, just what was I getting myself into?

Turns out rumors were all they were. He had passion and creativity to want to make things better. However people got in his way that weren’t willing to open up and listen to him. So that is what I did, I listened and let him run wild and free. He created our service bay’s design plans for what would make their work easier. I let him have all the creative freedom. It turned out to be a blessing because I gained his respect and our bay became one of the biggest profit generating service centers in the company. We became the model for what others hoped to become.


Steve and the girls at Knott's Berry Farm 2008.

Yet in the midst of this, I found my soul mate. I was in the midst of a messy divorce and messier child custody battle with my ex. I found comfort in my friend at that time. He was in a long-term relationship at that time and simply became someone who returned the favor, and listened when I needed someone to pour my heart out to. His heart was simply made of pure gold. I often teased Steve to this day, that God revealed his soul to me the day I met him and I saw what others failed to see. I got a glimpse of his soul.

Three years later, we were married. It wasn’t the marriage you dream of. No white dress, no tux for him. Just standing in a courthouse in Lake Havasu City with his parents and Aunt and we spoke our vows to each other. We had our first meal at Carl’s Jr. and I saved the cup that day and wrote in sharpie pen that it was our wedding glass. We got married in jeans and normal clothes that we could wear long after our wedding. We still laughed most days whenever we went out; to wear our wedding clothes since no one would notice but us. Love all those inside jokes.

Steve and Kailee on their date night!

This is an amazing man that so many of us women look for all our lives and only some are fortunate to find. God revealed His plans for us long ago, by interlocking our hearts together that no matter how far we moved away from one another, we eventually find our way home together.


He has an amazing kind and gentle heart. He will willingly do things for others without a second thought. He has helped our neighbors more times than they will ever pay him back. He tried to save the lives of 4 children and a woman who drove their pick up truck into an aqueduct one April and jumped into freezing waters without a second thought that he, himself just might lose his life. He has helped motorcyclists that have laid their bikes down while passing people on dangerous mountain roads and waiting for help to arrive. He said to me once that his dream job would have been a fire fighter and I can see just why. He loves to help people. To me, he already had that job and still to this day remains a hero to his family.


I know without a doubt that God sent Steve to me. I had completely lost faith that such a man existed and even when I found him, didn’t know what this beautiful man would see in me. When I met Steve, I was broken, battered and completely filled with self-doubt. I met in him someone who saw the person I could become with a little love and a lot of band-aids! With God’s healing hands, Steve made me into the person I am today. He gave me back trust that was robbed of so many years of neglect. He loves unconditionally and is not only my best friend, but also my soul mate and husband all rolled into one.



He loves the colors black and teal. Loves Nutter Butters and Froot Loops! His favorite food would probably be Seared Ahi with salad topped off with Blue Cheese dressing. He loves the mountains and has dreamed of a cabin by the lake as a way to spend our last years on this earth together. His favorite movies are those martial arts films like Hidden Dragon, Crouching Tiger, anything by Bruce Lee and even will admit to loving some chick flick movies like Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail. He loves Bugs Bunny cartoons and simply adores Kermit the frog. He can even do a perfect Kermit imitation if you ask! He can quilt, sew better than I can, and now has his own blog called Gotta Have Faith.



One of the things I love the most about him is that we can speak an unspoken language at times. We share a look and both of us instantly know what the other is thinking without saying anything. No one understands it but us! We are just that in tune with one another.



So I celebrate his life today all 41 years of it, and I can only ask that if God allows it, we will begin to build even more happy memories together raising our two wonderful kids, Caitlyn, his step daughter and Kailee our daughter together.


Happy Birthday Steve! You are the best present anyone could ever wish for! If you want to wish Steve a Happy Birthday, hop on over to his blog, Gotta Have Faith!

God Still Teaches Daily!

I find myself so grateful for the many people that have commented, emailed or called, and sent along prayers of strength and protection during this time of separation for my husband and I. It gives me just enough to get through my day and find some shimmer of light in the midst of what can seem like overwhelming darkness and depression.

I have spent last night in a session with God where He has enlightened me on my role during this process. Let me share if I may. Last night I tossed and turned to sleep in a lonely, cold, empty bed while my husband and I finished our conversation. He was just starting work for the evening and I was heading off to bed.

After we hung up, God spoke to my heart and shared with me a few things that this experience has done. Before this, you could say without a doubt I was co-dependent. I could not experience any peace or contentment while my husband was away even for a weekend. I hated that life of being lost and alone. During these long months and weeks of absence, God has patiently walked with me, holding my hand and showed me that I can do this. What would have seemed impossible months ago, is now doable. I am handling life! I am experiencing for a second time, what life without a husband is like. I have to manage finances, pay bills, deal with bill collectors, attorneys, take care of home repairs, and all the while, still homeschooling one child and carting the other one off to high school, track practice, fashion club, Christian clubs, church, and if you can name it, I have either done it or can do it at this point. Plus if you are sick or in need of something, I have learned I can bite the bullet and move through the pain to another day.

I would have never thought this was possible, but God is amazing and has shown me that even though Steve is missing right now, God still remains with me and never leaves me. In those lonely dark moments at night when missing my husband is the most difficult, God wraps his arms around me and holds me while I fall asleep.

I still am a work in progress however. I still lose patience with my girls, who seem to think I have become a Super Mom, and can do everything, but I am trying harder to teach them to become self sufficient women as well. This from sprinklers breaking, circuit breakers needing to be reset, car failures and even a gall bladder ER visit for me in the last week has been a bit overwhelming.

So to recap here's my lesson from God:

1. I can do this even though I thought I couldn't.
2. I am a lot stronger than I ever thought possible in all ways, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.
3. I have some amazing friends I can always count on. This has also shown me, who isn't as well.
4. God is only a prayer away.
5. I have 100% complete confidence, I want to be married to Steve for the rest of my life. I am not meant to be alone on this earth. I am meant to be a married woman.
6. This job is not for our family, nor is any involving out of state travel.
7. God brings things into your life to help you through difficult circumstances, such as long lost family and friends.
8. Thank God for email and blogs!
9. I am teaching my daughters a lesson through these difficult economic times, what it takes to be a good wife and mom.
10. I need to take things one day at a time. God only guarantees to supply my needs daily, not weekly, monthly or yearly.

I ask if you are reading this that you stop and take a moment and pray for us, asking God to work with us and help us to find something that works for our family. I also ask that you lift my health and gallbladder up that I won't require surgery to remove it at this time, while Steve is away. Thanks again for being some amazing people in my life! God bless each of you!

The Love Jar

All week long I have read tons of emails, website posts and blogs of different things you can do with your hubby to keep love alive or to inspire a bit of romance on Valentine's Day. In all this reading I did find a wonderful tip that is super easy to do and will last as long as you would like. I wouldn't recommend more than 4 weeks as things change so frequently in my house and my life, it's hard to plan out that far in advance.

The idea for the Love Jar is from the Focus on the Family website and it's so easy, you will wonder why you didn't think of it. Why not keep love alive everyday and not just on Valentine's day? Here is how you start. You each get 4 slips of paper and on it you each write something on the paper that the other person can do for you to make you very personally loved! It could be something big or something small, depending on what your needs are. You will be surprised at how simple some of your man's needs are. The point is to be specific!

The jar's intention is to help each other out, with finding specific tasks we can do on a weekly basis to show unconditional love. It takes the guess work out of what the other really needs in order to feel loved. I know my hubby will ask me what he can do for me, and it really takes all the feeling out of it if I have to tell him. I have given up trying to think at some mysterious point in my life he will be bestowed the gift of reading my mind, and have resolved to tell him. This is where the love jar comes in handy.

By writing down 4 needs for me and he does the same, we will each pull one out of a jar on a Sunday. It will tell us what the other one needs and we have a week to pull it off. It's funny how simple things mean so much to the other person. One of my hubby's was to call and talk to him when he is commuting so he isn't lonely on his long drives and it helps to keep him awake. Go figure! Certainly not rocket science.

By the way, Steve already fulfilled one of mine for this week, by making me dinner since for about as long as I can remember with him being out of town, all the cooking has fallen on my shoulders. I knew that he would be home this week but who knew that he would do that task! Amazing too because this man can really cook! What was it you ask? Shepherds Pie on a cold and rainy night! Yummmmm!

I hope you are encouraged to try this idea and it brings back some meaning into your relationships! Let me know by commenting!

It's Today! Double Digits!

It's today, it's today!! Kailee finally is turning 10 and as she calls it the "Double Digits". Funny how I don't see that as a huge turning point. I see the 13, 16, 18, and 21st birthday something to really celebrate, but never thought that "double digits" was something amazing! So here is how the day turned out.

Last night, I secretly dropped Kailee off at a friends under the guise of shopping for her birthday. In the meantime, I drove down to Ontario Airport to pick up my hubby Steve that I haven't seen for three plus weeks. He has managed to arrange to fly in for her birthday as a surprise!! So I pick him up and we head back up the hill so as to not arise suspicion in my daughter about what could be taking mom so long to shop since the mall is only 5 minutes away!

When we arrived at the door, Steve hid and then we waited til Kailee came to the door. My husband came out of hiding and the look on her face was priceless!!! She started crying and saying, "you came home for my birthday?" and then hugged her dad and cried!

That was worth everything money could never buy! She wouldn't let go of him until bedtime, when he tucked her into bed one last time at 9, and kissed her goodnight.

We took her out to breakfast this morning and let her open a few gifts from us today, since her party isn't until Saturday! It was a moment we could never forget. To one little girl, God truly answers the prayers of the faithful!

Happy 10th Birthday Kailee! May God bless you with all the good things in life He has to offer you!

Keeping Romance Alive Part 2

Too often life gets out of control and we find ourselves wondering where has all the time gone? We have so many demands placed on us by family, friends, church, job and others that by the time we get to ourselves we have just run out. Physical stress and fatigue wears on us since we weren't programmed to handled so much in one day and the consistent demand to do more is ever present.

Our relationships then begin to suffer when we don't have time for everyone who is demanding that time. We will take care of our job responsibilities usually first, because that is what pays the bills, then our kids come next and then if we can find time, maybe our spouses. Forget any time for us. So how do we capture the romance that is nothing more than a smoldering spark that used to be a raging fire. It's quite simple really, we need to change our priorities.

First and foremost it should be our relationship with God. I mean God doesn't want someone who dates Him, He wants a marriage to us. Imagine if you will that God only remembered you, when you remembered Him during your day. Kinda scary when you think of it that way. I don't think for most of us, that we give God any time in our day, because we know He will always be there later, like we tell our kids, "later honey!"

If we can rearrange our priorities to include God in our daily time management schedule, our whole days would go smoother. Since this is about romance, our next item on that priority list should be your spouse. We need to include them in our appointment books or Blackberries or whatever you schedule your time into. Whether it is phoning them just to see how they are doing, or making time at the closure of your evening to hang out, watch some TV, attend Bible Study or church, the point is to make time. No excuses!

I am not saying to put your job on the back burner by any means, but if we don't care of our spouse, our marriage will wither away and someone else may just be offering what we aren't. You'd be surprised at how often affairs begin because the husbands or wives simply didn't have the time for the other, no one to talk to, or to do the things you normally do. We weren't supposed to live our lives like room mates thanks to the added responsibilities of households, kids and jobs. We are supposed to put our spouse's needs even before our own.

So if you are wondering how to get that spark going again, beside just sex, you need to begin by nurturing that relationship you have neglected and stop taking advantage of your husband or wife, thinking that you will have time for them later. Begin today and show them just how much they really mean to you. Plan something to do with just them, keeping it out of the bedroom preferred. Guaranteed the longer you continue to show your spouse the attention we all need to have, the better your relationship and marriage will go!

Can't wait to hear your results!

Amazing Man in the Whole World

Sure, everyone has their opinion of the most amazing guy in the world, but I have one really besides God of course! What we have with our spiritual foundation in God simply makes our marriage all the more amazing.

He has been my best friend since 1995 when I met him, and I knew the instant I saw him I fell in love, with both my heart and soul. God blessed me with that knowledge. He was my best friend and saw my in all the worst of times, from my divorce, custody issues, financial mess and working with my employee all at the same time. We always found time for each other, just to talk each other through stuff, see the best in each other always, and we always had the funniest times from stateline trips on the company, movies, and ultimately our first date night to see Toy Story at Fashion Island. By the way, the Hard Rock Cafe in Newport is no longer! So sad when we tried to recreate our first date only to find out that things had changed so much. He has always been a closet romantic at heart. Sometimes it takes a big push to get him out there but he always comes through!

My fondest memory of him was restoring Christmas again for me. I had just gone through my divorce which was made final on December 26th, due to my ex not being able to get the courts to make it official on the 25th. Nice guy huh? Any way I had given up on my favorite holiday for almost two years. Between working 12+ hours, commuting almost 3 hours one day to work, you could honestly say I really didn't have the time for Christmas. Do you see this becoming a Hallmark Channel movie???

Well after working one of those really long days, I was more than pleasantly surprised to come home to a live decorated tree on my porch, and upon walking into my house, I found a tree completely decorated with all the trimmings and there restored my Christmas Magic again!

Got tissues yet??? Anyway, I find myself today, hearing the news that he is leaving for Indianapolis, Indiana again for what promises to be another long 4+ weeks without him. Each time he leaves, I feel my heart completely torn out of my chest and the worst feeling is that each time I come home after dropping him off at the airport, I hate it! I hate coming home! I hate it because I know what awaits me, emptiness and loneliness! His presence is simply missing from my life again! I feel as if the life has been sucked out of me and the only thing I live for at that point is the phone calls that come during our three hour time difference. That means for me and the kids, our last time to talk to him is around 6pm so he can get some sleep. It also means long days, weeks for him with no time off! Sure the pay checks are nice when he works but we would trade all that in a heart beat for a decent job, close to home!!

Little does he know just how much he means to all of us! He is the best father, step dad, best friend, husband and soul mate all rolled into the most amazing man God could ever bless me with!! I thank God every day in my prayers for letting me get to know and love him more with each day!

So for now, I take my tissue and wipe away the last of the tears I hope for now, and enjoy the next 48 hours with him!