Monday, March 16, 2009

God Still Teaches Daily!

I find myself so grateful for the many people that have commented, emailed or called, and sent along prayers of strength and protection during this time of separation for my husband and I. It gives me just enough to get through my day and find some shimmer of light in the midst of what can seem like overwhelming darkness and depression.

I have spent last night in a session with God where He has enlightened me on my role during this process. Let me share if I may. Last night I tossed and turned to sleep in a lonely, cold, empty bed while my husband and I finished our conversation. He was just starting work for the evening and I was heading off to bed.

After we hung up, God spoke to my heart and shared with me a few things that this experience has done. Before this, you could say without a doubt I was co-dependent. I could not experience any peace or contentment while my husband was away even for a weekend. I hated that life of being lost and alone. During these long months and weeks of absence, God has patiently walked with me, holding my hand and showed me that I can do this. What would have seemed impossible months ago, is now doable. I am handling life! I am experiencing for a second time, what life without a husband is like. I have to manage finances, pay bills, deal with bill collectors, attorneys, take care of home repairs, and all the while, still homeschooling one child and carting the other one off to high school, track practice, fashion club, Christian clubs, church, and if you can name it, I have either done it or can do it at this point. Plus if you are sick or in need of something, I have learned I can bite the bullet and move through the pain to another day.

I would have never thought this was possible, but God is amazing and has shown me that even though Steve is missing right now, God still remains with me and never leaves me. In those lonely dark moments at night when missing my husband is the most difficult, God wraps his arms around me and holds me while I fall asleep.

I still am a work in progress however. I still lose patience with my girls, who seem to think I have become a Super Mom, and can do everything, but I am trying harder to teach them to become self sufficient women as well. This from sprinklers breaking, circuit breakers needing to be reset, car failures and even a gall bladder ER visit for me in the last week has been a bit overwhelming.

So to recap here's my lesson from God:

1. I can do this even though I thought I couldn't.
2. I am a lot stronger than I ever thought possible in all ways, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.
3. I have some amazing friends I can always count on. This has also shown me, who isn't as well.
4. God is only a prayer away.
5. I have 100% complete confidence, I want to be married to Steve for the rest of my life. I am not meant to be alone on this earth. I am meant to be a married woman.
6. This job is not for our family, nor is any involving out of state travel.
7. God brings things into your life to help you through difficult circumstances, such as long lost family and friends.
8. Thank God for email and blogs!
9. I am teaching my daughters a lesson through these difficult economic times, what it takes to be a good wife and mom.
10. I need to take things one day at a time. God only guarantees to supply my needs daily, not weekly, monthly or yearly.

I ask if you are reading this that you stop and take a moment and pray for us, asking God to work with us and help us to find something that works for our family. I also ask that you lift my health and gallbladder up that I won't require surgery to remove it at this time, while Steve is away. Thanks again for being some amazing people in my life! God bless each of you!


Andrea said...

Praise GOD we are all still learning and HE is sooo patient with us. Please stop by sitka's blog. He has a surprise for you.

Love, prayers, woofs, and wags, Sitka and Andrea

Laurie said...

Thank you for sharing from your life. I prayed for you as you asked. I think it is powerful what God is teaching you and I know all that you are learning will also benefit and bless many others.