Empty Nest??

Ever since I remarried, I looked forward to the time when Steve and I would get an opportunity after raising kids to enjoy our time alone. When I married him, he accepted the full-time responsibility to take on a ready made family at that time, which involved my 3-year old daughter. So we have never had the experience of just enjoying time together, alone.

So when our youngest got married and moved out, we were not the sad parents mourning that chapter of our lives, we were actually somewhat excited and looking forward to doing things we weren't able to, like simply enjoying a quiet evening at home, going to dinner and the movies without the added expense and being able to travel a bit more. We even looked into the notion of buying a RV and road tripping a lot since Steve travels quite a bit for work.

But what those empty nesters don't share with you is that, parenting is never completely over and parents are not left alone. You still receive phone calls to share the latest news and what's happening in their lives which is great, but you also get late night phone calls when things are going wrong. From health concerns, relationship issues, fights with their spouses, and so much more, it seems like my life lately has been once again managing the lives of those who are constantly calling.

I can recall when I moved out of my parents home, I called to check in. Schedule lunch. Visit for a holiday, but everything else was part of managing my life as an adult. It means thinking for yourself at times.

Now don't get me wrong, it's nice to give advice from time to time based on our life experiences and such, but lately it seems a daily occurrence, late night phone calls without regard for their parents who have their own set of worries to contend with and what they don't know is that it's not just them calling. They don't realize that there are multiple things happening in our lives we don't share with our kids. We handle those issues all within our family, which at this stage should be Steve and I.

People often say, well take a vacation and get away from it for a time. They don't realize those phone calls never stop. I've had short weekend trips ruined by midnight phone calls saying their sick, or their fighting with their spouse again, or half a dozen other things that can simply wait til we return. Nothing except a life and death issue warrants calling your parents late in the evening and waking them up.

I know I am bound to get countless replies by people telling me that I should be happy my kids feel comfortable calling me. That's not the point of this post. I guess I ask myself at what point will they begin to manage their issues on their own? I honestly don't think they understand just how many times throughout the day I am called. If not one, then the other one. If not both, then their spouses call, my brother calls, or half of dozen people that seem like its all at once.

In bite size chunks, these situations are manageable. What I sometimes ask myself is why are not the other sets of parents being called? Why us?

This is just me, ranting after another two day episode of three different people having their own meltdowns and needing to "talk to someone."

This is one time, that I don't believe that Calgon will take me anywhere without phone service.

Until then, I pray. I try to see what God is trying to teach me in these situations and perhaps for some, I might have to re-establish appropriate boundaries for the time being, like you don't get to call your parents at 2am to saying you and your spouse are fighting. You don't get to call them at 2am to say you're having second thoughts about your marriage. You don't get to call them saying your having cramps and can't sleep.

Those can wait til morning. I don't know of anyone who can think clearly after being woken up out of a dead sleep. For now, this post will simply be the rant of a sleep deprived, over stressed mom that is trying to manage things as well as I can.

And that empty nest thing? I don't think it will ever be truly empty. Now I need to call my mom and apologize for all those late night phone calls when I was still living and hope and fighting with my brother at home. Mom, I am so so sorry!

Blessing in Disguise

I often heard the saying be careful what you wish for, because you just might get that. As a busy mom of three, and no that's not including my husband, I've often times wished for a quiet home and some alone time every once in a blue moon. In fact when my husband mentioned taking my youngest to Orlando, Florida as part of her graduation gift, I thought, "Sure! Why not!"

The only thing I was dreaming of was a spotlessly clean house for the next nine days and making meals for myself. Hours and hours of uninterrupted and guilt-free time to immerse myself in a load of books to pass the time, perhaps some light gardening. You know peaceful existence right? I know a lot of you are thinking, Oh what I wouldn't give to have that time, how truly priceless.

It was for the first day or so. I did what all "Martha's" do and clean and organize my house from top to bottom. Drawers, closets, rooms you name it. I thought if I busted it all out in one day after dropping them off at the airport, I could relax in my own day spa of sorts for the next 9 days.

Snap out of it, it didn't work out that way. While I was getting downloads of fun photos from my husband and daughter hanging out by the pool, ordering lunch poolside, enjoying road trips, I was sitting at home completely bored.

Breakfasts consisted of toast and coffee for one, lunches were sandwiches and dinner was usually pasta or something easy to fix for one. All the chores that my family used to help me out with, now fell on my shoulders alone. This is a big house, and between the heat wave we had for most of the time, that involved being out watering all the new plants we just put in, keeping the new grass watered as well, and picking the never ending supply of dandelions before they turned into Buzz Lightyear's trip across infinity and beyond.

Thank heavens grocery shopping never had to be done except for the occasional run to Target to pick up a few things that I ran out of like shampoo and cat food. I think the days were the best part because the nights were almost too surreal. Did you notice how many noises your house makes at night, when you're all alone. I didn't even have a dog. Just three cats who would find it fun to run around at the oddest times playing tag. Advil PM soon became my best friend along with a lot of prayer to get me through the night into the morning.

Now that it's almost officially over as I picked up my family in a couple of hours, I look back and would do a lot of things differently. I would still clean for a day and stock my kitchen with things I love to eat. But I would take the time to do more things for me. Like visiting with my friends more if they had the time, get my hair done, perhaps even take my own road trip kinda close. I need to stop cleaning so much and just sit back and enjoy the gift of time more and stop worrying about finding things to fill the time.

It was interesting to say the very least and look forward to more time in the future perhaps not at long this time. What about you? Would you love to spend 9 days all alone? What would you do?

Sunbathing on the Sea of Dread

Ever planned a vacation for you, your family or just you and your hubby? I know I have and the reason for planning one usually comes because I am way too stressed out, we haven’t had a vacation in who knows how long, or we just need to get away from life. Sound like your reasons?

When you think about it those reasons, it sounds pretty valid. The real thing is for me, based on those reasons alone, would cause me to take daily vacations if you knew my life and the things that go on in it daily. However let’s really break it down and see just how “relaxing” it is.

We have to decide first of all where we are headed, that could take weeks for some. Once you decide on a location, you have to check the weather, locate a family friendly hotel, book the hotel, book any activities that you may need to, pack for the vacation, get airline tickets, or car rentals or even pack the family truckster up. Then you have to get to the airport, get through security, locate food since airlines stopped serving food except the prepackaged peanuts of approximately 7 inside, and wait in line for your flight. Then you have to deal with any potential delays of your flight, connecting flights, lost luggage, bathroom breaks, and locating a rental car or airport shuttle after picking up your luggage from a never ending pile from baggage claim. Then it’s off to navigate some foreign roads you never have driven; deal with toll roads, and since you never have correct change since most people ATM it lately; check into your hotel, deal with not enough pillows, bad smelling room, uncomfortable beds, and the noisy neighbors just on the other side of your paper thin room. Sounding relaxing yet? Yeah right….

If you’re like me, you need a vacation from your vacation when you get back. Isn’t that what your original design for a vacation was supposed to be? If you are like me, what you were expecting was lots of sleep in a luxury room, with a feather bed, tons of super soft pillows, no noise whatsoever, being waited on hand and foot, all your meals are prepared with just the touch of a few buttons on the phone, no worries right?

We worry about everything and anything! We live in a worry-filled society in a worry-filled world with lots of other worriers like ourselves. The truth is however that worrying changes nothing. “Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” Matthew 6:25

There are a wealth of opportunities to be anxious about everyday and it’s never ending. Take for example, the stimulus bill, our states budget crisis, layoffs from every company you know, foreclosures at an all time high, late notices of every utility bill and credit card, deaths of loved ones, family members, friends and even perfect strangers, abortions, problems with our cars, divorce, marriage, gay issues, stem cell research, wars and never ending natural disasters. Got a lot on your plate at night??? How about popping a pill for that? Valium, Xanax, sleep aids, you name it, you can be assured you can locate a doctor willing to listen to just a sample of the issues I mentioned above, and you’ve got yourself a personalized autograph prescription. Yet, it doesn’t take the worry away. It only puts it off, it’s right there where you left it once you wake up or the drugs where off.

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” Matthew 6:34

The things I have listed that we worry about are the same things our parents and grandparents worried about, but worrying about them did nothing to prevent them from happening. Worry ruins our health, robs us of any joy and changes nothing. Worrying about something does nothing to change the thing we are worrying about. Sometimes worrying about those things makes things worse than they were before.

One simple sentence unveils God’s provision plan: “Live One Day At A Time”. God disclosed this same strategy to Moses and the Israelites in the wilderness. He provided manna daily, one day at a time, not monthly or weekly. Even on the day prior to the Sabbath, God knew what He was doing. He told them not to gather it on the Sabbath, but the day before. He provided twice as much for them because He wanted them to keep the Sabbath holy and do no work, including the gathering of food. Did the Israelites worry? Yup, even after witnessing all God’s miracles, they worried constantly up to the point of wishing they were back in Egypt where they had plenty of food, water and a place to sleep at night. They grumbled about it daily and constantly.

But weren’t they complaining during their time in Egypt for God to free them from their bondage as slaves to the Egyptians? God answered their prayers, but He never promised them that everything would be a perfect “stress free vacation” of sorts. But He did answer their prayers, just not the way they had hoped.

What they saw as problems, God saw as provisions. Imagine quail in the desert, so numerous that each family had so much that they complained that they were sick of eating it. More grumbling, more worrying!

Worry splits up our thoughts into today and tomorrow. So why don’t we worry about yesterday? Because we know that nothing we can do today will change what happened yesterday. Worrying about tomorrow’s problems today, takes away the strength God gives us to get through today’s worries. This leaves us with not enough resources to deal with today because we borrowed on it to fix tomorrow’s worries. Now we are in debt with worry. No wonder we feel like we can’t deal with just today. We are too busy tackling tomorrows, next weeks, next months and sometimes even next year’s worries. No wonder we are stressed out, sick physically, tired, run down, and at the end of our rope or even all of the above. God never planned on us dealing with things that way. “One day at a time.” Hear the voice of God?

If you are like me, we worry so much about something that has yet to happen, but most of the time, what we worry about never really happens. Worry gives small problems, big shadows. Corrie Ten Bloom said, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of it’s sorrows, it empties today of it’s strength.” “God will take care of everything you need.” (Phillippians 4:19)

So what can you do to eliminate this worry and stress from your life?

1. Pray More!!! You can’t worry while your praying and you can’t pray when you are worrying. In my case, this means I need to pray most of my day. I worry a lot. The average person prays about 8 minutes a day when the average pastor only prays about 10 minutes. Shouldn’t that tell us something? Imagine how different our lives might be if we just prayed a little bit more? Couldn’t hurt right? No where in the Bible does it say to pray a little or to put limits on our prayer time right?


2. Want Less! I tell my daughters this daily when it comes to buying things, especially in this economy where the average family is barely making ends meet while paying more for groceries, gas, bills, and everything else while our income goes down or stay the same as it was before. So I have to ask them, “Is this a want or a need?” Sometimes I have to remind them of the definitions of each. Charles Spurgeon wrote, “Enough for today is all we can enjoy. We cannot eat or drink or wear more than today’s supply of food and clothing. The surplus gives us the care of storing it and the anxiety that someone may steal it. Enough is all we should expect, but a craving for more is ungratefulness. When our Father does not give you more, be content with your daily allowance.” (The NIV Worship Bible, New International Version, Dana Point, CA: Maranatha 2000, 1302)


3. Live for Today. “Who of you by worrying, can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27. God will take care of things in His time, not in our time. He sends help at the hour we need it. You don’t have the wisdom for tomorrow’s problems, but we will tomorrow. You don’t have the resources for tomorrows needs, but you will tomorrow. You don’t have the courage for tomorrow’s challenges, but you will when tomorrow comes.

God will meet our needs daily. He did then, he still does, and he will continue to do for you always. Trust in Him, and wait! Don’t worry.

Thankful Thursday Participation

It's Thursday again and almost ready for the weekend. So I thought I would take some time and share just a few things that I am super grateful for this week.

1. I am thankful for God's never ending patience, love, grace and mercy! Some days you just feel like you need an extra dose of His love and to not walk too far from Him. I am thankful that He is always there when I need Him and He reminds me not too put too much fair in people as they can sometimes disappoint even when they don't mean too, but God never does.

2. I am thankful that my hubby is working locally in Chino. It means he can come home every night and we can enjoy weekends together again for now. We truly have come to realize that after 13 years together sometimes you have a tendency to take advantage of each other always being there. Since August, he has been on the road constantly, so we treasure moments together as a family and moments alone.

3. I am thankful for my many friends I have made during my recent blogging began in January. Who would have guessed I would be so encouraged and loved by my fellow bloggers and they become personal cheerleaders when the days can turn grey!

4. I am thankful for the change in the weather, we have had some super, hot and sunny days lately in the 100's and the winds have returned sweeping the heat back out to the deserts! I love the cool, crisp days and icy, cold, clear nights.

5. I am thankful I am seeing the light and school for the kids is drawing to a close. As a homeschool mom it's like getting an extended vacation even though the learning technically doesn't end. We are trying to plan our first family vacation in awhile, someplace in the mountains, where it's cold, dark and mossy!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Sunbathing on the Sea of Dread

Ever planned a vacation for you, your family or just you and your hubby? I know I have and the reason for planning one usually comes because I am way too stressed out, we haven’t had a vacation in who knows how long, or we just need to get away from life. Sound like your reasons?

When you think about it those reasons, it sounds pretty valid. The real thing is for me, based on those reasons alone, would cause me to take daily vacations if you knew my life and the things that go on in it daily. However let’s really break it down and see just how “relaxing” it is.

We have to decide first of all where we are headed, that could take weeks for some. Once you decide on a location, you have to check the weather, locate a family friendly hotel, book the hotel, book any activities that you may need to, pack for the vacation, get airline tickets, or car rentals or even pack the family truckster up. Then you have to get to the airport, get through security, locate food since airlines stopped serving food except the prepackaged peanuts of approximately 7 inside, and wait in line for your flight. Then you have to deal with any potential delays of your flight, connecting flights, lost luggage, bathroom breaks, and locating a rental car or airport shuttle after picking up your luggage from a never ending pile from baggage claim. Then it’s off to navigate some foreign roads you never have driven; deal with toll roads, and since you never have correct change since most people ATM it lately; check into your hotel, deal with not enough pillows, bad smelling room, uncomfortable beds, and the noisy neighbors just on the other side of your paper thin room. Sounding relaxing yet? Yeah right….

If you’re like me, you need a vacation from your vacation when you get back. Isn’t that what your original design for a vacation was supposed to be? If you are like me, what you were expecting was lots of sleep in a luxury room, with a feather bed, tons of super soft pillows, no noise whatsoever, being waited on hand and foot, all your meals are prepared with just the touch of a few buttons on the phone, no worries right?

We worry about everything and anything! We live in a worry-filled society in a worry-filled world with lots of other worriers like ourselves. The truth is however that worrying changes nothing. “Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” Matthew 6:25

There are a wealth of opportunities to be anxious about everyday and it’s never ending. Take for example, the stimulus bill, our states budget crisis, layoffs from every company you know, foreclosures at an all time high, late notices of every utility bill and credit card, deaths of loved ones, family members, friends and even perfect strangers, abortions, problems with our cars, divorce, marriage, gay issues, stem cell research, wars and never ending natural disasters. Got a lot on your plate at night??? How about popping a pill for that? Valium, Xanax, sleep aids, you name it, you can be assured you can locate a doctor willing to listen to just a sample of the issues I mentioned above, and you’ve got yourself a personalized autograph prescription. Yet, it doesn’t take the worry away. It only puts it off, it’s right there where you left it once you wake up or the drugs where off.

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” Matthew 6:34

The things I have listed that we worry about are the same things our parents and grandparents worried about, but worrying about them did nothing to prevent them from happening. Worry ruins our health, robs us of any joy and changes nothing. Worrying about something does nothing to change the thing we are worrying about. Sometimes worrying about those things makes things worse than they were before.

One simple sentence unveils God’s provision plan: “Live One Day At A Time”. God disclosed this same strategy to Moses and the Israelites in the wilderness. He provided manna daily, one day at a time, not monthly or weekly. Even on the day prior to the Sabbath, God knew what He was doing. He told them not to gather it on the Sabbath, but the day before. He provided twice as much for them because He wanted them to keep the Sabbath holy and do no work, including the gathering of food. Did the Israelites worry? Yup, even after witnessing all God’s miracles, they worried constantly up to the point of wishing they were back in Egypt where they had plenty of food, water and a place to sleep at night. They grumbled about it daily and constantly.

But weren’t they complaining during their time in Egypt for God to free them from their bondage as slaves to the Egyptians? God answered their prayers, but He never promised them that everything would be a perfect “stress free vacation” of sorts. But He did answer their prayers, just not the way they had hoped.

What they saw as problems, God saw as provisions. Imagine quail in the desert, so numerous that each family had so much that they complained that they were sick of eating it. More grumbling, more worrying!

Worry splits up our thoughts into today and tomorrow. So why don’t we worry about yesterday? Because we know that nothing we can do today will change what happened yesterday. Worrying about tomorrow’s problems today, takes away the strength God gives us to get through today’s worries. This leaves us with not enough resources to deal with today because we borrowed on it to fix tomorrow’s worries. Now we are in debt with worry. No wonder we feel like we can’t deal with just today. We are too busy tackling tomorrows, next weeks, next months and sometimes even next year’s worries. No wonder we are stressed out, sick physically, tired, run down, and at the end of our rope or even all of the above. God never planned on us dealing with things that way. “One day at a time.” Hear the voice of God?

If you are like me, we worry so much about something that has yet to happen, but most of the time, what we worry about never really happens. Worry gives small problems, big shadows. Corrie Ten Bloom said, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of it’s sorrows, it empties today of it’s strength.” “God will take care of everything you need.” (Phillippians 4:19)

So what can you do to eliminate this worry and stress from your life?

1. Pray More!!! You can’t worry while your praying and you can’t pray when you are worrying. In my case, this means I need to pray most of my day. I worry a lot. The average person prays about 8 minutes a day when the average pastor only prays about 10 minutes. Shouldn’t that tell us something? Imagine how different our lives might be if we just prayed a little bit more? Couldn’t hurt right? No where in the Bible does it say to pray a little or to put limits on our prayer time right?


2. Want Less! I tell my daughters this daily when it comes to buying things, especially in this economy where the average family is barely making ends meet while paying more for groceries, gas, bills, and everything else while our income goes down or stay the same as it was before. So I have to ask them, “Is this a want or a need?” Sometimes I have to remind them of the definitions of each. Charles Spurgeon wrote, “Enough for today is all we can enjoy. We cannot eat or drink or wear more than today’s supply of food and clothing. The surplus gives us the care of storing it and the anxiety that someone may steal it. Enough is all we should expect, but a craving for more is ungratefulness. When our Father does not give you more, be content with your daily allowance.” (The NIV Worship Bible, New International Version, Dana Point, CA: Maranatha 2000, 1302)


3. Live for Today. “Who of you by worrying, can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27. God will take care of things in His time, not in our time. He sends help at the hour we need it. You don’t have the wisdom for tomorrow’s problems, but we will tomorrow. You don’t have the resources for tomorrows needs, but you will tomorrow. You don’t have the courage for tomorrow’s challenges, but you will when tomorrow comes.

God will meet our needs daily. He did then, he still does, and he will continue to do for you always. Trust in Him, and wait! Don’t worry.

Dream Vacation to Israel

If I could go anywhere in the world on a dream vacation, most of you might imagine and quiet tropical island, with turquoise waters beckoning you into their warmth, white sand and gorgeous blue skies above. But my heart isn't calling me there, it's calling me home.

I have often wondered what it would be like to step inside the tomb of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and just spend some quiet time reflection on his sacrifices for us in the short 33 years he had here on Earth. I wondered what it would be like to sit aboard a boat on the Sea of Galilee, with my eyes closed and listening to the sounds of the waves lapping on the side of the boat, feeling the warm breeze on my face and smelling the salt air. I would wonder what the apostles felt as they sat upon these very waters listening to Jesus tell them how to throw their nets over the side to catch the bounty of fish waiting for them, or how he calmed the rough seas at night while Peter walked out and met the Lord.

I would be amazed just to sit on a hillside overlooking the little town of Bethlehem on a quiet star filled night and try to imagine what it must have felt like for the shepherds in the field to hear about the glorious night of our Saviors birth.

I would love to walk in the Garden of Gethsemane and praying there under the shade of the olive trees at sunset like Jesus did the night of his crucifixion.

This is my dream to one day walk in the Holy land and visit all the places the Bible speaks of where Jesus lived his life. I would also love to look down into the Valley of Armageddon to see where the final battle of all wars will take place, where Satan will be defeated once and for all.

So for now, I look at pictures and tours of people that have seen these things and maybe just maybe someday, I will make it home!