Seeds of Faith and Seeds of Doubt

Do you ever have one of those days in your spiritual walk that make you wonder if you have gotten off the path and have wandered away? Those days when doubt creeps in, a heavy weight feels like it has landed on your shoulders and you just feel like crying but can't really figure out why?

What do you do?

I had one of those days and unfortunate while dealing with it, things kept happening to intensify that effect from a handful of text messages I could have dealt with better had I not been feeling that way to being asked repeatedly for help from everyone who could. Those are the days I think you are beyond feeling overwhelmed.

You are just wiped out.

Even though the days and weeks before you were doing fine, things are going along perfectly, you're reading your Bible, doing your devotions, serving to the best of your ability and then WHAM!

It's like you woke up in your body but in a different period of time.

It's like you lost that lovin feeling.

Then people will ask you "What's wrong?"

They want to know how they can help.

How can they when you can't even figure out what went wrong, what is going on and how to get over this horrible feeling of uncertainty.

I didn't even feel like listening to my praise and worship music like I do every morning when I get up. Even just the idea of celebrating Christmas left such a horrible taste in my mouth. I wanted to run away and tell everyone to just leave me alone.

But I didn't.

Because life still goes on around you even when you are dealing with something beyond the blues. People still need your input and you are called to put your emotions in check and paste on that happy face and fake it.

Not even food sounds appealing either.

I didn't even want to pick up my Bible and read my morning devotions or do my study. I didn't even want to pray. I had nothing I could think of to pray for and I certainly didn't want to talk about what I was feeling, because I didn't know myself.

I even tried to speculate what it might be but honestly, I could probably chalk it up to a series of things coupled with lack of sleep and being so worn out in serving everyone I had nothing left to give.

Perhaps that is why Jesus often went away to just spend time with his Father, to pray. To revive; to be filled with the Spirit so He could give more of himself away.

Add to that mix spiritual warfare at its finest.

The enemy is like that.

Wanting to take advantage of the situation. To keep us down.

So I did what anyone does.

I cried.

A lot.

I told myself I didn't want to feel this way and I will not be ruled by my lying feelings. I prayed and asked God for help. He didn't answer right away. In fact it took til this morning to feel any better at all.

I read my Bible despite being so torn in my mood that I couldn't even pay attention to what I was reading. I found a lot of wisdom in the day however.

During my study of what I was supposed to be reading. I came across the story of Michael and Satan arguing about the condition of Moses body and rather than argue with Satan of lying about it, Michael simply stated, The Lord rebuke you, and he left the judgment of Satan up to God.

I didn't remember this until late last night I thought more about how bad my day was going but that in the past, I may have lashed out at the first person who made me made and let them have it. But I didn't.

I didn't even talk to people who had made me mad to tell them how I felt. I simply chose to be quiet. Quite out of the norm for me as well. I will  usually confront issues rather than wait.

In the midst of my reflection I realized how very much God did answer my prayer, just not in the way I had imagined.

He never left my side even though the feelings persisted.

I could take joy in noting how far I had grown in my spiritual walk this year because I am doing things He would be proud of. My small harvest of spiritual seeds of faith.

Confessing things I am afraid of saying.

Doing the right thing despite how I feel.

Praying first instead of as a last resort.

Controlling my tongue in anger.

Letting rumors lie.

In the end, it wouldn't have been the way I would have handled things. In fact during my last plea to God last night knowing I was facing a spiritual attack, I simply called out, "The Lord rebuke you." The voices of torment went away and I feel into a deep sleep.

This morning I can still feel the effects of yesterday as they tried to rage again but I was able to push it away. Today is a better day.

Today I got through the storm that sought to overcome me, and like I learned yesterday....

You can't stumble if you aren't walking or running in the race for God.

Yes....I'm doing something right. I'm definitely seeing my growth in God and it's a great thing. One that makes me smiling just thinking about it. I got a long way to go, but as long as I am walking, I am moving in the right direction.

Next time the enemy rages against you planting seeds of doubt in your mind, simply take Michael's advice, and say, "The Lord rebuke You and let God deal with him instead.

Restoring Factory Settings

I had the amazing opportunity last night to talk to my dad over the phone for quite awhile actually. We have restored our relationship after not speaking for almost 17 years. Looking back some might say we were both at fault for being at odds for so many years and all that time is lost and can never be regained. I would beg to differ.

I remember something Greg Laurie, pastor at Harvest Church in Riverside, was teaching on, about two differences in sin. A lesser sin and a greater sin. Huh?

Yes, you read that right. There are various forms of things we can do that are sinful, but there are two degrees of how severe they are, one lesser and the other greater.

Meaning you can lie as a believer and lie as an unbeliever. So which sin is greater?

Most would say they are the same, but they aren't.

The believer is held to a high standard because they know better. They are one of God's chosen so they know what they are doing is wrong, while an unbeliever is still undecided about his faith in God. So for us, we are held to a greater measuring stick.

Interesting right? So how does that apply to me and my father?

I found God and my salvation in Jesus Christ when I was 21. Between the those years and where I am now, there is an awful lot of space in between. I fell away but never lost my salvation in God. I was a lost prodigal trying to make my way in the world, trying to do things on my own, but never understanding my true need for God in my life. I can remember those ebbs and flows in my life where I would be completely on fire for God, and then fall away again. Much like the person who is on a walk, and instead of moving forward, falls and refuses to get back up. I didn't lose ground, I just didn't gain ground on those times. My salvation was secure I just wasn't growing in my faith, my relationship with God or my spiritual knowledge.

So when I refused to speak and restore the relationship with my dad, yes we were both at fault, but me, more so than my father. Being a Christian, I am held to a higher accountability than he was. I could make every single excuse in the book, but until I realized I was called to do the right thing and make amends, even if he flat out refused to accept my forgiveness and apology, I was still doing the right thing. (Thanks to Mikey Tribbie for making me realize what I needed to do as a believer!)

So when I called him that first time, on his birthday, he was shocked I'm sure. But I was forever grateful I called. See we don't know when our time here on earth is up, but I know one thing for sure, I want to make sure when I get to Heaven, I have the right answers for what I did with my life for Jesus.

For the last couple of decades, I've done some things for God's glory, but in my opinion, not enough. I need to be a living, breathing example of the power at work of God living in my life, so others can see and be transformed and want that same thing in their own lives.

One day, this world will end and God will restore it when He comes back to judge everyone. Until that time, we have two choices. If you are born once, you will die twice and if you are born twice, you will die once. The choice is yours.

What does this mean?

If you are born once, meaning your physical body being born when you are a baby, and when you die twice, you will physically die and you will face a spiritual death away from God and Heaven.

However, if you are born twice, mean physical body born when you are a baby and then a spiritual rebirth when you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior (the ONLY WAY to heaven by the way!), when you die it will only be your physical body, your spiritual one will live forever in Heaven and with God and the rest of the unbelievers. The choice is simple, the choice is yours and yours alone to make.

No one can do it for you. I hope you make the decision today to be born twice and to die once. I would love to spend an eternity with you as part of the heavenly family. Are you ready to make that commitment?

Here's all you need to do, but it has to be with a sincere heart, meaning you are handing your life, your messes over to God and you're tired of doing things your way. But the great news is that starting today, God will do a factory reset on your life (much like those factory resets on your computer,) and starting today, YOU will be a NEW creation and have an eternal destiny that doesn't involve fire, and torment forever and ever. Here's all you need to do! Pray this prayer!

Lord Jesus,

I know I'm a sinner, but I thank You for dying on the cross for my sins and rising again from the dead. I'm sorry for my sin, Lord, and I turn from it now, and I put my faith in You. To be my Savior, my Lord, my God and my Friend. Thank You, for loving me, and calling me, and accepting me, In Jesus Name, AMEN!!!

That's it? Well, yes and no! You are NOW a new creation and there are some things you need to do to help you on your spiritual walk to become stronger in your faith. Remember what I shared before about being on a walk? You are just beginning yours, you don't want to stop your forward progress, so I have 4 tips for you to make sure you don't fall down and stay down.

1. Begin praying to God. Talk to Him just like you would a friend. He's anxious to hear from you. In fact, He's been watching you this entire time and can't wait to hear your thoughts on everything happening in your life.

2. Read your Bible. If you don't have one, get one! (like Woody would say from Toy Story!) It helps you know more about Jesus, God and what has been happening since the beginning of creation right to the very end of the world. Not sure where to start, begin in the book of John.

3. Find a church! It's like a vitamin B-12 shot and helps keeps you motivated, learning and growing, plus you meet some great people there who are now, part of your new family. And it's growing every day.

4. Tell people. Tell others about your decision today to give your life to God. In fact, I'd love to hear from you so please email me at Stevenkat27@gmail.com and I'd love to pray for you and encourage you in your new walk.

How's Your Race Going?

Last night in church, we were asked the question of what do you want to hear when you enter the gates of Heaven and meet Jesus. Do you want to hear the words, "Well done good and faithful servant!" or "Just done?"

Pretty powerful statement when you think about it. All believers based on the gift of grace will enter the gates of Heaven but what else do you have to follow that up with?

"This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile ,for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." ~ Romans 3:22-24

The reference to Jew and Gentile refer to all of us living on earth, God's chosen people and everyone else, are referred to as Gentile's.

We will all be judged by God, but those of us as believers will not have to face the great white throne judgment but our acts of service as believers will be passed through the fire to see if our motives were along with Gods or for our own glory.

"By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw,their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames." ~ 1 Corinthians 3: 10-15 

Now don't go confusing this statement with thinking you have to do certain things to earn you way into Heaven, it's not about that, but more along the lines of what are you doing with your time you have left here on earth to share the word of your testimony in what God has done for your life? How are you acting like a light pointing people to Him? When people look at your life, do they see a reflection of Jesus in your life?

If not, perhaps it might require a further evaluation into your heart, your spiritual heart. The Bible speaks that we will all be known by the type of fruit we bear, what are you producing? Is there evidence of the fruit of the Spirit in your life? Can you point people to God? If someone asked you a question, would you know where to find it in the Bible and not just offer them your perspective on things?

“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”~ Matthew 12: 33-37

Perhaps we are standing for Jesus but are we growing in Christ as well? We can only move in two directions forward or backwards. Standing where we are currently is not a motion. Which direction are you headed??

Can you look back at your life and see some periods of a growth in your faith?

Hard questions sometimes require a hard approach to dig deeper into our spiritual walk to see where our hearts are.

I don't know about you, but I don't just want to show up to the party in heaven, I want to have a gift in hand to give to Jesus to thank Him for all He has done for me in my life. We, as believers are supposed to be working in His ministry to make a difference, to work on building our rewards in heaven where nothing can destroy them.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." ~ Matthew 6: 19-20

I don't know about you but if you have ever been invited to a party, it feels somewhat odd if you don't bring a gift. I want something to be able to give Jesus even though He doesn't want or expect anything from us. I want to be able to give Him something when I show up for the ultimate party in heaven! I want to thank Him for all He has done for me to make a significant impact in my life.

So how is your race going? Hopefully you are heading in the right direction. You are pushing on for the prize like a runner in a race! Working toward that finish line where we will hear the words we want to hear, His lord said to him, "‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’" ~ Matthew 25:21 (NKJV)