Fear Factor

Have you ever watched the show "Fear Factor"? I don't believe it's on anymore but it certainly made you wonder just how far some people would push themselves to conqueror their fears or perhaps in some cases just how far would you go for money?

I personally have a few legitimate fears that I would love to overcome. I have a huge fear of flying. I guess in light of recent news events (Hudson River, 9/11 and others), it doesn't put my mind to ease. I hate that I fear it to the point I won't sit by my family because I am not the best traveling companion. I am the person who sits white knuckled, grabbing the arm rests for dear life, like I think I can personally steer the plane with them if need be. I don't like to have a discussion with anyone until I can see the ground just as we are about to land. Now you can talk with me about anything. I've been told by some it's a control issue with me. Yeah I don't think so. I would rather sit back, relax and have someone else get me to where I would love to be.

I got this fear of flying, some 15 years ago, when I flew from New Jersey to California. I was waiting for the plane as it sat on the runway, to apply the brakes and rev the engines, you know like planes are supposed to do. This one didn't. Instead as the plane turned onto the runway, it immediately tried to gain enough speed to take off. It felt like forever and I certainly felt like it wasn't going to make it. Kinda like the old clunker cars you see on the roads that should be condemned because they aren't road worthy.

As the plane lifted off, it immediately dropped shortly after it took off. Not a mild drop mind you, but a kind of drop that had most passengers on the plane looking at each other, like 'what was that?' As the plane banked to the right and kept climbing, it dropped again. This time it was so noticeable that people on the plane screamed. No one from the flight crew bothered to say anything as the plane kept on flying. I promised myself if the plane should land safely, I would never fly again.

I have unfortunately flown again after that, but not without the greatest fear I could imagine. I have tried flying with business travelers since they fly alot, taking prescriptions to help relax (remember the movie Six Days, Seven Nights with Harrison Ford and Anne Heche? She had nothing on me when I was flying.) I had to take so many pills that it really didn't do much except make me a little bit more relaxed until I landed and then had to sleep it off, because I had taken to many.

Isn't it funny how your body can override certain things, like relaxing due to the 10 Xanax you just inhaled, to keep you aware of things going on around you? I am also deathly afraid of heights. OK being in a plane isn't the same thing, with the heights, it's mostly being in a building with high floors and looking out the windows or stepping out onto the balcony. This fear stemmed from my ex husband who snuck up behind me when I was on a hotel balcony only to pretend to throw me over. NOT FUNNY! Who thinks this is funny?

I can honestly say I have gotten over my fear of death the closer I get to God. It used to scare me to death. It didn't help that everything I did as a child or rash I got, my father, would tell me it's cancer! Isn't my life full of joy?

Actually it really is now. I have come to realize that God is not the author of fear but the devil is. It's the devil that loves to come around during those times to tap me on the shoulder and remind me of those fears and if I allow it, to dwell on how it feels when I am that scared. I now remind myself that God is in control of everything going on and only He knows when my time will be up. So until then, I need to enjoy the things He has offered such as a flight to visit my hubby while he is out of town or my daughter's home on the East Coast during the summer with her dad, my ex. I have for too long listened to the enemy and given him too much control of my life, when I need to remember that "greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

I just need to remember that each time I am reminded of my fears I need to take those thoughts captive and instead choose to turn those fears over to God. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

It doesn't mean it will make the fear just dissolve but knowing that God is my pilot should make my life a little easier to deal with. What do you fear and how do you handle it?