Sunday, February 21, 2010

Note of Thanks

Hello fellow bloggers,

I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for all the out pouring of love, respect and prayers that have followed my post from Thursday. I have been out of the loop for the last couple of days trying to deal with all that life has seemingly dumped in my life all at one point. It feels as if my life has been in a fog lately.

My health issue that causes me on a daily basis to deal with pain on the pain scale of about a 9, granted it doesn't stay at a 9 all day. Once I take a Norco or 2, as prescribed for this severe pain, in a couple of hours it becomes almost manageable. Almost, until surgery can be schedule to remedy this pain which is a twisting of a mass on my left ovary, I have to deal. I only wish I could pass on the pain meds but then you wouldn't want to be living under the same roof as me. I won't take the pain meds, again until pain returns to about a 4-5 and sometimes that isn't until later that day or evening. Most of the time, Steve is home by then. But then again, once the pain becomes that severe, I am not a happy camper. I don't think most people would be either.

As so many of you pointed out that physical pain over the course of these few months, can wear one out so much you need rest. No wonder all I do is sleep when the weekends come or hubby finally arrives home. Until we can schedule this surgery, this is what I have to do to manage. Not only that during these last 3 weeks, is that I've managed to get a nasty cold and bronchitis on top of that which meant, antibiotics, anti-inflammatory meds, inhalers, cold medicine and cough syrup on top of what I am dealing with as far as pain goes.

If you were to ask me what I feel like, I would tell you that it feels like someone took a pair of the largest pliers and twist the skin on your lower ab and hold it while it's twisted. It never stops. You have to deal with it while getting up, taking the kids to school and then waiting to pick them up.

I guess, life wouldn't be so difficult if we had family or friends that could stop by, but we don't. They live too far away to help and they all have families as well. Our church is so big and has also been an eye opener for us that despite being members of the church for almost 2 years, they have not reached out to help us, despite both of us asking the church and pastor for help. So we will be seeking another church.

If we had someone to help out, to stop by occasionally and talk, offer to take the kids for the day or just pick one of them up would be a huge life saver for us. We don't have any of that. It reminds me of just how isolated we are, and why I seek Steve's assistance.

I would have never dreamed this would be my life at this stage, and even confided in him with everything I have been processing over this few weeks. That even though I know that we will get this pain resolved soon, it doesn't help that I have to go through it all now! I guess it has all just come to a breaking point where I needed to vent rather than hide behind my blog and post happy things, all the while it's not.

Thank you for allowing me to vent and thank you for sharing so many options for us. I know we'll get through it, I know I will have the surgery and will be off pain meds in the next few months, and I know that my life will resume. I also know that just by me posting this, I needed to see things when it got really bad so I can also see just how I got through it all.

I never felt I would offend anyone but felt like I merely sat amongst my friends and shared what was really going on, and no one ever judged. No one ever took sides and no one ever told me that I was wrong.

Again, I thank you for all of that. You are more than blogging friends, or people that read my blog, but I honestly see each and every one of you as family. I love you all! Please continue to pray for me that the pain will become bearable and that each test I have coming up this next week, will lead me closer to the answer to this pain.

On Friday, I have my ultrasound which will give my doctor the picture he needs to see both my ovaries, and my fibroids in my uterus. I will have an answer to this hopefully by next week and let that be, scheduling surgery to have this removed. Please pray for Steve this week, that his employer will be understanding til we have a definitive answer and he can take some time off once we know more.

Again thanks so much for your prayers and love! I love you all again!


creative gal said...

I am so sorry that your church family has failed to respond. I've been there and it truly sucks. Especially if you have asked for help. I once was told that it would be over a month before the elders of my church could meet w/ me to pray. . . well, my dad is having surgery in 3 weeks. . . not 6. . .They did meet with me but that was a bad feeling. . .hurt my heart. . .my dad had surgery and no one from my church came by. . .(my parents live in another town, his surgery was where I live). . .so, I can understand some of your pain and frustration. . .I am still praying for you!

Girly Muse said...

Dear Kat,

Girl, I am just hurting for you right now...all of it...the pain, the hurt, the disappointment...I'm sad and angry FOR you and so wish I lived right there to come take care of you and yours for a while.

Will add a wonderful church to the prayer list for you.

Feel free to email me anytime. Or call, or text...or just whatever...:)

Love you...

Beth Herring said...

Continuing to pray my sweet friend.

I wish you lived in Louisiana - you could come to our church! We have an awesome church family and the Pastor is pretty awesome - :) (well, he IS my husband - ha!)

Love to you tonight sweet one.


Alleluiabelle said...

My Heart-to-Heart Sister,

I love you!! I've been thinking about you and your family a lot. My prayers continue...I'm praying things move along very quickly once you have your ultrasound done this Friday...and I'm praying for much peace, love, physical comfort, tranquility within your soul and JOY within this storm. You are so very much loved dear sister.


Denise said...

I am so very, very sorry for all you are going through. Wish I could be there to help in anyway I could. I know how it feels to not have your church family support you in anyway. Praying for you, and loving you.

christy rose said...

I am continuing to pray for you Kat! I expect that God will see you through all of this and you will be a shining testimony to His mercy and goodness! His grace is sufficient in everything! :) derbl

Unknown said...

My then husband and I at the time attended a very large church in Victorville, that may very well be the church you attend as well. When things got rocky between the two of us, we sought out help from the church. We weren't just regular attendees but members of the church for over 8 years. Unfortunately, one of the pastors got back to me telling me that there was no pastor that felt that he was willing to counsel on the issue of infidelity. We were both let down. This was a church that our kids and both of us were active. I honestly felt like they turned their backs on us. It was hard but as a result, we found a wonderful pastor who lived in Rancho Cucamonga who gave up his time to counsel the both of us. No, it didn't cause our marriage to work but the point was that he was reaching out when our own pastors didn't.

I'm praying that God will lead you to a church where you're not just a number but you're a family and that your family does matter if things are going well or not.

I'm also praying that your suffering will be over soon and that surgery will heal it all. I'm so glad that you reached out to us all.

Mari said...

I've been thinking and praying for you. I'm so sorry your church hasn't been helpful. God doesn't call us to be there only in the good times!
I'll keep praying.

Aine Willis said...

Kat, I went through this exact pain about 8 years ago. I am soo sorry you are going through this, it is extremely painful. I pray the dr finds out the best solution and can resolve it for you. I'm sorry too that your church family is not coming to your side and helping. That would be so discouraging. If you lived around the corner from me ... I would bring your family supper and help with your kids. I can't do that ... so, I'm praying God will send someone who can.

Still Learning said...

Kat, still praying for you all weekend lady. I wish it would all just be gone immediately. I hope so much that the surgery can be scheduled super quick and you can get back to a normal pain free state. I can't begin to imagine having to live with so much pain. I just want it to be over so bad for you and I know you want that too.

Stay strong, you are on the down side of this thing and we all love you!!!!!!!


Heckety said...

Your Church failing to lift a finger to help? That is UNBELIEVEABLE! Oh I'm spitting mad now! I don't care how big it is, how short or long you've been a member, helping is what Christians do...heck, helping is what anyone would do! Oooooh, I've no words for how angry I am. I'll come back later and talk you you.

Saleslady371 said...

I've been thinking of you, too, Kat. I will most definitely step up my prayers for you. Hang in there!

Darcie said...

I have to add how sorry I am again for our pain...both physically and emotionally. It is so very extra hard when there is no one to reach out to. I can't imagine how it would feel to have no one respond from your church. I hope and pray someone close by you will be moved with compassion to reach out. Wish I was closer my dear.

Crown of Beauty said...

I continue to pray for you. If I were near you, I would love to come over and help you in any way I could. May God give you warm bodies who will offer helping hands and feet to your family in this painful season of your lives.

But dear Kat, always remember, no matter are not alone.


Thena said...

That's a shame that your church doesn't reach out to ya'll. I pray ya'll can find one that will surround ya'll with love and support. They should be reaching out to ya'll not shunning ya'll.
But your truly not alone. He said He would stick closer to us than a brother that He would never leave us nor forsake us.
Praying continually for you and your family.

Mich said...

It breaks my heart that even your church family has not been there for you.

Hang in there, girl.


SusanD said...

Continuing to pray for you my dear friend. God had me up at 2:15 this morning with you on my heart and have prayed for you several times throughout the day.

I guess that's why God has all of us tending to you from a distance, because you are not being tended to by the local flock.

God peace to you. Blessings, SusanD

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I will be praying for you. I pray that the doctor will see exactly what it is a be able to operate. I pray that Steve's boss will be understanding during these times.
Take care & God Bless.

Andrea said...

I continue to storm the heavens, sweet friend. I am sorry that some of us bloggy friends do not live closer to you. You would be beating us off with sticks....we would all be like super glue and I am confident you would grow tired of us. Anyway, I am praying GOD will raise up loving, kind, compassionate friends that you can trust to help you.
Hugs, andrea

Deborah Ann said...

It's really sad that there are churches that don't extend compassion or grace. I hope God will quickly lead to you a church that provides these things!

I am continuing to pray for your healing, and your family. I wish I lived closer, I would show up on your doorstep so much you'd wish I would go away! Lol...

Kathleen said...

How discouraging! Prolonged pain, and the prolonged absence of Body-help sounds so isolating.

I am so grateful for the network of small groups at our church. The one I belong to has roughly 13 couples - a bit larger than the average. I pray you find a church that offers them, for truly it's in doing life together that people become keenly aware of needs, and rush to meet them - often without being asked.

Wish I lived closer!


Jackie said...

Continuing to pray for you my new bloggy friend! Even though I can't be there in person, please know that you have a sister in Arizona who is thinking about you and standing with you in prayer in the midst of your storm.

He is Faithful!

Sweet Blessings!