Are You at The "Y" Intersection??

In our life time we will encounter so many "Y's" on our journey. The point is what will we do when we get there? Will we take the wrong road? Will we make a U-turn or will we push forward and forge ahead?

Life is a series of tests! It is designed for us to be challenged and to grow with each new situation we come across, yet often times we U-turn once we get to that fork in the road. Afraid to see which road will take us to which choice in our life. How often we don't want that choice to be the wrong one, but even the wrong choice can benefit our lives as well. It creates another opportunity for learning.

One of those "Y's" in our paths is one of forgiveness, yet it remains one of the most stubborn places to be. Why? or in the case of this post, "Y?"

Do you have a relationship right now with someone that you just can't forgive? Could be with a friend, a family member or just someone that you knew, yet you can't bring yourself to apologize?

Y?

Is it because you don't think you should apologize?

Is it because you had no part in this conflict, it was all their fault?

They hurt you?

They deserve to be punished?

I just can't forgive them, my feelings are hurt?

They need to go first!

You know what all of these have in common? They are excuses you tell yourself is the reason for not healing that relationship. They are lies whispered in your head that you come to believe are the truth and thus feel justified in your actions not to forgive or to apologize.

Perhaps the hurt is too great a pain for you and there is no conceivable way to get past this feeling. Is that it?

Do you realize that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling? True forgiveness comes with God's power in your life. Without it, the words, "I'm sorry!" are just two words.

Sometimes we wait to feel like forgiving someone especially when someone harms us either physically, emotionally or even mentally. Sometimes that pain will never go away, but that is not what forgiveness is about. It's being obedient to God so it becomes a willful choice for us to make.

"He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is a great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. " (Psalm 103:10-12)

God knows what is best for us and sometimes it's just so hard to do. Here is a great conversation between Jill Savage and God taken from her book, Real Moms...Real Jesus, pg 91.

Jill: You're asking too much, God.

God: Trust Me.

Jill: I want to trust You, but it's just too hard to let this one go.

God: You're not letting go. You are giving it to Me.

Jill: But he hurt me and if I forgive then it is just like I'm saying it's okay.

God: Not true. You are letting go of the hurt so I can fully have it. You are recognizing that I'm equipped to deal with this better than you are.

Jill: It's too hard.

God: I'm not asking you to do something I've never done before. I showed you the way; now follow My lead.


Does this conversation sound familiar to anyone? I know it does for me, in almost every situation that I have ever dealt with regarding forgiveness or the need to apologize. But if we claim to be believers, God commands us to forgive.

"Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (Colossians 3:13 NLT)

He isn't asking us to forget what has happened, but He can work on that as well, but the forgiveness is a choice that only we alone can make. Once that happens, God can begin that healing process, but until such time, we continue to carry that heavy load.

When we seek forgiveness from God, we go willingly but do you ever stop and think that we honestly don't deserve to be forgiven? Sure once we confess our sins with a willing heart and the right attitude, God erases it as though it never occurred. Why aren't we the same?

God does not treat us as we deserve, yet we often treat others as they deserve. We punish them, we deny them our love, our companionship, even relationship are up for grabs. We throw away people like they simply don't matter. Who cares if you never mend that again, right?

Remember to be Christ-like we must model those same behaviors that Jesus did. We need to extend grace and forgiveness to others.

We live in a world that is becoming more about self and less about being serving. We argue about our rights, defend our actions, blame others, and deny responsibility for our own actions as well as the actions of our family and friends.

Asking for forgiveness is hard but granting it is even harder. We feel justified in our actions and believe that people need to be punished for their mistakes. Yet what if we look back at ourselves? Do we deserve to be punished? Are we really justified in our actions?

Realize when you are in this place you stand at that "Y" intersection. You can do one of two things. Be angry or chose to forgive. These are the only two choices, one is the right path and one is wrong.

The wrong path will keep you from happiness, laughter and lightness in your life, and become like a chain around your neck dragging you to the depths of being tired, stressed and angry all the time at everyone. Yet the right path is the one Jesus would take. It provides a place to keep our heart clean and soft, ready to love and extend the grace that God alone offers.

If you have an apology to make or forgiveness to give, please do it today. Don't wait. Relationships are worth too much to sacrifice them for the love of anger or punishment, revenge or holding grudges. Souls are on the line, they just aren't worth sacrificing for that ultimate punishment. So which path will you take today?