Monday, August 31, 2009

Are You at The "Y" Intersection??

In our life time we will encounter so many "Y's" on our journey. The point is what will we do when we get there? Will we take the wrong road? Will we make a U-turn or will we push forward and forge ahead?

Life is a series of tests! It is designed for us to be challenged and to grow with each new situation we come across, yet often times we U-turn once we get to that fork in the road. Afraid to see which road will take us to which choice in our life. How often we don't want that choice to be the wrong one, but even the wrong choice can benefit our lives as well. It creates another opportunity for learning.

One of those "Y's" in our paths is one of forgiveness, yet it remains one of the most stubborn places to be. Why? or in the case of this post, "Y?"

Do you have a relationship right now with someone that you just can't forgive? Could be with a friend, a family member or just someone that you knew, yet you can't bring yourself to apologize?


Is it because you don't think you should apologize?

Is it because you had no part in this conflict, it was all their fault?

They hurt you?

They deserve to be punished?

I just can't forgive them, my feelings are hurt?

They need to go first!

You know what all of these have in common? They are excuses you tell yourself is the reason for not healing that relationship. They are lies whispered in your head that you come to believe are the truth and thus feel justified in your actions not to forgive or to apologize.

Perhaps the hurt is too great a pain for you and there is no conceivable way to get past this feeling. Is that it?

Do you realize that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling? True forgiveness comes with God's power in your life. Without it, the words, "I'm sorry!" are just two words.

Sometimes we wait to feel like forgiving someone especially when someone harms us either physically, emotionally or even mentally. Sometimes that pain will never go away, but that is not what forgiveness is about. It's being obedient to God so it becomes a willful choice for us to make.

"He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is a great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. " (Psalm 103:10-12)

God knows what is best for us and sometimes it's just so hard to do. Here is a great conversation between Jill Savage and God taken from her book, Real Moms...Real Jesus, pg 91.

Jill: You're asking too much, God.

God: Trust Me.

Jill: I want to trust You, but it's just too hard to let this one go.

God: You're not letting go. You are giving it to Me.

Jill: But he hurt me and if I forgive then it is just like I'm saying it's okay.

God: Not true. You are letting go of the hurt so I can fully have it. You are recognizing that I'm equipped to deal with this better than you are.

Jill: It's too hard.

God: I'm not asking you to do something I've never done before. I showed you the way; now follow My lead.

Does this conversation sound familiar to anyone? I know it does for me, in almost every situation that I have ever dealt with regarding forgiveness or the need to apologize. But if we claim to be believers, God commands us to forgive.

"Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (Colossians 3:13 NLT)

He isn't asking us to forget what has happened, but He can work on that as well, but the forgiveness is a choice that only we alone can make. Once that happens, God can begin that healing process, but until such time, we continue to carry that heavy load.

When we seek forgiveness from God, we go willingly but do you ever stop and think that we honestly don't deserve to be forgiven? Sure once we confess our sins with a willing heart and the right attitude, God erases it as though it never occurred. Why aren't we the same?

God does not treat us as we deserve, yet we often treat others as they deserve. We punish them, we deny them our love, our companionship, even relationship are up for grabs. We throw away people like they simply don't matter. Who cares if you never mend that again, right?

Remember to be Christ-like we must model those same behaviors that Jesus did. We need to extend grace and forgiveness to others.

We live in a world that is becoming more about self and less about being serving. We argue about our rights, defend our actions, blame others, and deny responsibility for our own actions as well as the actions of our family and friends.

Asking for forgiveness is hard but granting it is even harder. We feel justified in our actions and believe that people need to be punished for their mistakes. Yet what if we look back at ourselves? Do we deserve to be punished? Are we really justified in our actions?

Realize when you are in this place you stand at that "Y" intersection. You can do one of two things. Be angry or chose to forgive. These are the only two choices, one is the right path and one is wrong.

The wrong path will keep you from happiness, laughter and lightness in your life, and become like a chain around your neck dragging you to the depths of being tired, stressed and angry all the time at everyone. Yet the right path is the one Jesus would take. It provides a place to keep our heart clean and soft, ready to love and extend the grace that God alone offers.

If you have an apology to make or forgiveness to give, please do it today. Don't wait. Relationships are worth too much to sacrifice them for the love of anger or punishment, revenge or holding grudges. Souls are on the line, they just aren't worth sacrificing for that ultimate punishment. So which path will you take today?


Andrea said...

Great post. We most forgive and then our heart will catch up with our head. We simply must make the decision to do it. It is hard, but we must.
Blessings, andrea

RCUBEs said...

Great reminder. For that's what God wants us to do. Forgiving someone who hurt you is never easy but what a great feeling once we do so. I know...I was there before. And so grateful the Lord does take care of all the hurt, all the pain when we give it to Him. Have a great day. God bless.


Kat, You have written another great post. Crossroads can happen in your life at any time. This is great about forgiveness.
(1 John 1:9 KJV) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Many Blessings,

Five Moms & A Blog said...

Oddly enough, I am at a fork in the road and having to choose which path to take. Trying to discern which path God wants me to take. But we'll leave that for another time and place.

I loved your comment about the "hog gog" but I find myself repeating it and laughing over and over. Can't get that new word out of my head. ha ha ha


Connie Arnold said...

Thanks for sharing this post. I think often about that "Y" in the road and how different life would be if the other path had been taken. I hadn't thought about it in terms of forgiveness though, and what you say here is very good!

KrippledWarrior said...

I am so glad I found your blog. You got the Heavy Metal rumbling now. May I submit: there is one person who hurts you and you never fail to forgive that person. no matter how thoughtless improper or egregious the transgression is, you always seem to be able to forgive you.
That is the collective "you" as in WE.

~Sandy said...

Great post and so true. I've had to learn to forgive the hurt from my childhood and at times I thought I would never be able to move on,let go, and forgive, but with time I did. Thanks for sharing this post.
Just incase you don't know, I wanted to tell you that you are a blessing and an inspiration to me. Thank you!
((hugs)) sandy

Elle Bee said...

This is such a well-written and thought-provoking post. The excerpt from that book could have been written from my own mind--it's so comforting to know that God is there, and he wants us to lay down all our burdens at his feet, even a reluctance to forgive.

Daveda said...

Hi Kat, Thanks so much for your encouraging words over at my blog.

Forgiveness is a gift for the one who forgives, sometimes more then the one being forgiven. :)

Wonderful post.

God a Have Faith said...

Great Post Hun Hun! I hope that you are not in that Y intersection right now! Sometimes we just get in that funk of not knowing where to turn next.

I love you so much!


Edie said...

This is a hard lesson to learn.

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. It must be providence as I had already planned to come by after talking with Andrea yesterday. She suggested I come and visit.

Glad I did and I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

Rich blessings to you!

Mich said... of the hardest things to do sometimes.

However, to be like Christ, well grace is what He is all about.

Great post.

Laurie said...

FANTASTIC! We all need to hear this about forgiveness. It's easy to struggle with unforgiveness, but essential that we don't harbor it! Thanks for the teaching/reminders/encouragement.
Love ya, Laurie

Jane In The Jungle said...

Awesome post Kat. You always seem to nail it on the head, girl!
Dealing with a good bit of this now as a matter of fact!

Beth Herring said...

Excellent post that sent straight to my heart - convicted me and is causing me to do some soul searching!

THanks for this today.

Warren Baldwin said...

Very good!! Forgiveness isn't an option! Jesus makes it very clear that if we are going to follow him, we need to forgive like he forgives. I think the hardest part about forgiving is just submitting to HIS will. Good post.

Just Be Real said...

H2H this a a great post. Hard for many to forgive, but is essential. I am still on my way on this one. Thank you for sharing. Blessings dear one.....

reese said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST! i was going to post about the very same topic, but then, my emotions unfortunately got the better of me :( its true that forgiving and lifting your hurt up to God seems impossible. but rest assured, it isnt' Its a matter of time and whether or not you want to be healed :) i appreciate this post very much, good job!

Rebekah said...

very good post

Greg C said...

I have forgiven but I no longer trust this person. No matter how many times I turn the other cheek I get slapped. Eventually my face got numb so I forgave but took a step back to get out of slapping range. Did that make sense?

Daveda said...

Hi Kat, I have an award for you if you would like to stop over and pick it up. I think you may already have it, but I wanted you to know I think you deserve it again :)
Blessings, Daveda

God's Girl said...

I love this post. Our upcoming retreat is going to be, A Journey of a Lifetime. This "Y" intersection will be something we will be talking about.

Great post Kat! Thanks for sharing!


Denise said...

Wonderful post sweetie.

christy rose said...

Oh Kat! That was great! What a great reminder to forgive as we have been forgiven. It is only as we receive His forgiveness that we can forgive at all. He empowers us to do what we can not do on our own.