Saturday, August 29, 2009

A Teenager's View of Heaven



17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something
for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he
later told his father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the
best thing I ever wrote.." It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He
was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off
Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He
emerged from the wreck unharmed but
stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the
family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a
point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it,"
Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their
son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in
heaven. I know I'll see him."

Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in
the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall
covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in
libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order.
But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly
endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near
the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read
"Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards.
I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names
written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog
system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment,
big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder
and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began
randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and
sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I
would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have
betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird
"Books I Have Read,"
"Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes
I Have Laughed at ." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness:
"Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things
I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My
Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes
fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I
had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill
each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card
confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each
signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched", I
realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed
tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the
file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by
the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill
run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to
test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An
almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one
must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to
destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't
matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at
one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a
single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it
as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.
Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the
Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer,
almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than
three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it
contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they
hurt. They started in my stomach and sh ook through me. I fell on my
knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it
all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one
must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched
helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I
couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to
look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.
He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have
to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the
room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that
didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and
began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could
have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at
one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign
His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I
could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name
shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so
dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with
His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began
to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so
quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file
and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I
stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door.
There were still cards to be written.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."-Phil.
4:13 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever
believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." If you feel the
same way forward it so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also. My
"People I shared the gospel with" file just got bigger, how about yours?

24 comments:

Migraine Mom said...

Simply beautiful! If you read my blog post I wrote today you will know I really needed to hear this today. I am struggling right now and this is the kick in the pants I needed. I feel so grateful that you found my blog Kat and that I found yours...thank you.

Gotta Have Faith said...

Wow,

I am still in tears just finishing reading your post about Brian. That was a wonderful story he had written about Heaven. Thank you for finding it and sharing it with everyone!

Steve

Just Be Real said...

I am awe struck. This was beautifully written from an individual who truly knows what heaven is like! Thank you Kat for sharing. Blessings.

KrippledWarrior said...

Just when I think the next generation has no hope. I stand thankfully corrected. And inspired.
I learned my lesson for today.
KW

Beth E. said...

Read this with tears in my eyes. We never know when it will be our last moment. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.

Hope said...

Wow, this made me cry; it is very powerful!
♥Hope

Collette@Jesuslovesmums said...

This is one of the most wonderful things I have read in a long time. Such a tragic yet hope filled story. We just don't know the minute.
Love Collette xxx

Elle Bee said...

This is so powerful. I've read it before and I will never cease to love reading it once more. You can bet I will come back here to read it again and again.
Elle

Crown of Beauty said...

This post just gripped my heart, Kat. The words coming from a 17 year old... didn't much have time to impact a world, you'd think, but he did, by his death.

Thank you for sharing this.

And I just love the photo that you posted with it. A single light blue flower. My favorite color.

With this post, I am again current in my readings on your recent posts. Even if I don't get to visit on a daily basis, I make it a point to read up the ones I missed since my last visit.

Well, dear Kat, it is 4 a.m. over here in the Philippines, and you're the first on blogland to know that I am again packing my suitcase to leave for Manila in an hour or so.

It's been a full week for me here, re-living many beautiful memories of my husband after the unveiling of his tombstone last weekend.
I will be visiting my daughter and going to a mountain city in the northern part of our country for a few days. Will share stories when I get back.

Thinking of you, and praying for you today.

Love
Lidj

David C Brown said...

He made my sins His own! Very beautiful.

Sea Glass said...

Amazing! Thank you God for this gift.

RCUBEs said...

How deep is His love that covers our sins... So unfathomable...Great story sister Kat. May you have a great weekend and God bless.

2Thinks said...

This is from the book, I Kissed Dating Good-by by Josh Harris. Is that where you found it? I was moved when I first read it there when my son and I read that book together about 5 years ago.

Mich said...

I'm speechless...

Thank you.

Heart2Heart said...

Heidi,

It was in an email I received March 4, 2008 from a great friend of mine. Sometimes you just keep things because they provide some much inspiration when you read it. I knew I would want to read it again and this morning, God asked me to share it with all of you. I believe it ties in nicely with so many of us sending kids off to college or school at this time of the year, and with all things, God's timing is perfect.

I am just so glad that it has ministered to those it needed to and changed their perspective today. This was what this blogs intention was, to bless others when possible and it truly belongs to God at all times.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Wendi said...

Beautiful! I could hardly read it my husband because I was getting choked up.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

What a beautiful post...thank you for sharing it TODAY....I need to pass it on....

Elizabeth Mahlou said...

A message that all need to hear -- and if truly written by a 17-year-old boy on the eve of his unexpected death, how mature and insightful -- and what a comfort it must have been to his parents.

Angie said...

Hello bloggy friend and sister in Christ-
I wanted to show how much I love your blog by giving you a blog award. Please go to my blog to receive it.

Your Sister in Christ
Angie
www.helpmeettosam.blogspot.com

Silver said...

i've read this from somewhere before quite some years ago- but am glad to read them all over again. The Lord's mercy and grace and His all surpassing love is awesome and wondrous. It spells HOPE when there is none.

hugs,
Silver

COUNTRY MOM said...

Thank You for sharing this. Blessings,

christy rose said...

I cried through this whole thing. I have never read it before. He took our sins and made them His own!!!!! Now we stand sinless before God! I can not even grasp the fullness of it! But I know that as I continue to grow in my understanding of the fullness of it, I will be changed, from glory to glory!

Thanks for this Kat, I am going to share this with my youth pastor.
Love,
Christy

COUNTRY MOM said...

Kat, Wanted to say Hi and Thank You for being here for me. Blessings,

Denise said...

Thanks for sharing, so lovely.