Living in a Fog

Ah lately it seems like my life has been on a foggy road lately. Can't see what is up ahead only what lies right in front of me.

So much going on and what should be the best time of the whole year for me, has been sitting back, resting in bed, praying that this stubborn infection will go away and that life can resume a bit of normalcy for me.

My days consist of daily pain medicines as the infection seems to be digging in and trying to find a permanent home despite all the recent foreclosures in the past few months. I ran through my first dose of antibiotics, Cipro, which for me didn't really do much. The pain still persisted and in fact on my last three days of taking them got so bad, I was taking the pain meds as often as I could.

On Saturday, I ended my Cipro and began the next round of antibiotics called Flagyl which is supposed to be a stronger one. Those appeared to be working well and for almost 3 days had virtually no pain. I attempted to go to church on Sunday and felt the rush of pain begin 30 minutes before service ended. Quietly I prayed to God that I needed to be at church and could He do anything about the pain. It didn't work and I was popping pain meds in church so I could get a handle on the pain before it got too bad.

So my life in a nutshell is taking the girls to school in the morning, hopping back in bed and using a heating pad to keep the pain at bay, sleeping as much as I can, and that is where I stay until the next day. I don't have the energy to get out of bed and the pain can be so overwhelming, for me, it's better to stay where I can rest and sleep. Steve has been getting home early enough to grab the kids from school, so I can stay in bed. I mean how much fun does that sound like?

So where do I stand now? I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow at 10:45am to go over my blood work from this past Monday and discuss what is going on. The saddest thing for me is just how depressing all this can be. I sit in bed most of my day while life goes on around me. I feel like I exist in my home but in a different state than everyone else. I envy those people that can get up and just walk around their own homes, sit in church in no pain, and just go about their day to day lives and I just sit and live for pain free moments in my day.

I've been crying more than I usually do because I feel like Christmas is slipping by, and the things I used to enjoy like visiting the light displays on peoples homes, baking cookies, shopping for the family for Christmas, and just attending church is all being robbed from me. I've been reading on line just how difficult it is to get rid of C-diff and how fatal it can be as well. Doesn't that just do wonders for my Christmas spirit.

So my dearest friends, please send encouragement and prayers my way if you have the time. I would also encourage you to savor these moments when you can get around, and enjoy time with family and friends this Christmas. You just never know when those times will be taken from you for a season.

Please continue to pray for my dearest niece Mea and if you haven't grabbed her prayer button on the right, please do so and encourage everyone else to pray for this sweet angel. We will know something on January 13th whether she is improving or getting worse. I however believe God will grant us a miracle.