To Scope or Not To Scope, That is the question!

Today is a bad day.

What I mean by that is I rate most of my days now by my pain scale and today is a 5. The lowest I have even been able to get it down to is 3, although there are moments in that 3 day where I almost feel normal. Today is 66 days since I've been dealing with the issue of IC or Interstitial Cystitis. It is all the signs and symptoms of a UTI or bladder infection but without the infection part which means that taking things like cranberry juice, cranberry tablets, over the counter meds like AZO doesn't work. AZO is only supposed to used for 2 days at the most and for me, 2 days isn't going to cut it.

So on Friday at 8am I am scheduled for a cystoscopy, which is where you are given something to numb you locally while they insert a camera for a look inside your urethra and bladder. The procedure is supposed to take anywhere from 5 minutes to 15 minutes and there is expected to be some discomfort following that for a day or two.

While it will rule out what it might or might not be, the issue I have is the pain that might accompany me during the procedure and for sure afterwards. Right now I am attempting to manage my lifestyle around 3-5 on my pain scale with taking Elavil 25 mg and taking Marshmallow Root capsules before every meal. If this diagnosis is in fact IC, there is NO cure. Taking things like AZO will NOT help my issue.

If it were only a UTI or simple cystitis than those might be options I can benefit from. I hate looking at my life now and wondering, "Is this as good as it will be?" I am almost out of options for the treatment of IC, besides increasing my dosage of Elavil which may or may not help. I hate that every time I try to talk to my doctor he simply dismisses my issue of dealing with ongoing pain. He simply writes a new prescription and tells me to follow up in about 4 weeks. 4 WEEKS?!!! What about the pain I am dealing with now?

Now don't get me wrong, I don't want pain meds just to be on pain meds forever, and even the one's that do help don't allow me to function in any normal level of being able to move on with my life. Ibuprofen, the doctors choice prescription is a joke. If simply taking that would help, I would not be coming to the doctor. I have taken Advil, Aleve and nothing helps. I have even succumbed to trying the Ibuprofen but NOTHING. Don't get me started on Tramadol, it does nothing. NOT ONE THING for me. That is usually doctor's recommendation # 2. I had to beg my primary to give me a prescription for Norco and I am able to take half of those and keep my pain level way down, but it doesn't allow me to be up and about, it is sitting in a chair or laying down.

Truly I am at a loss at this point between toggling with cancelling everything, postponing it for a later date, but I think well if I am going to postpone it, why not just bite the bullet like someone said and just go for it. Oh how I wish this was treatable in a sense that you take some pills for a couple of weeks and you're back to normal. No pain when you urinate, no acid like pain in your bladder and of course the constant need to feel like you have to go and of course don't.

For now it is a depressing time and I find myself toggling between crying a lot, praying daily, and of course researching anything and everything anyone with IC has tried. Is there anyone out there that has this and can help me? ANYONE?

If so, what has worked?

How are you dealing with your pain and discomfort?

Are there things you are doing that have worked or not?

Advice?

Summer Days

Ever notice how lazy summer can be? From doing laundry, picking up around the house, yard work or whatever you make plans to do, it's easy to let that stuff slide to another day. I know for me, I've been doing a lot of reading as a reward for all my efforts during the rest of the year from homeschooling my 6th grader, now 7th grader, watching my oldest complete her final year of high school and graduate and attempt to make plans to the beach.

Yet lately it seems like I can't motivate myself to get anything done. It seems on those blazing, hot days where the temperatures flirt around 110, no one wants to do much but log into their computers and chat away, play games, watch videos or simply Facebook their hourly status.

I had a list of things I wanted to complete, among one of those considering a move to Northern Oregon or Washington. But how do you just pick up and move? It's not like moving within the same state where renting a moving truck can be reasonable, but I am curious how have some of you managed to pick up and start over again somewhere else?

My hubby's job is willing to relocate him but not pay for moving us over there otherwise, that would be an easy fix. Not sure just where to begin and hoped that some of you have done this before. I guess for us, fear is a huge factor. What if we can't make it? What if it isn't all that it's cracked up to be? What if my kids hate it?

Looking for some great advice and hope my blogging community may help and leave some great comments. Thanks again and here's hoping you're all having some great summer days.

By the way, if you want to join my friends and family on Facebook, click here and tell me where you found me. I seem to update this more than my blog, but I seriously need to get back to writing again.

Chasing Rainbows

Ever heard yourself mutter the all too familiar phrase, "I'll be happy when...(you fill in the blank)" I could have filled it from the time when I was a child and simply wanted to be older. Older so I could stay up later or older so I didn't have to check in with my parents all the time....older so I can drive a car myself and go where I want to go. Then it became, if I found love, true love like a fairy tale, then if only all these problems in my marriage would go away, perhaps if I just had a child, we could be happy, then it was if only the pain of the divorce would go away and I could be happy with being single. That soon changed to if only I could be married to someone real this time, someone who can love me, despite all my shortcomings and really be my soulmate....funny thing is that we can continue this vicious cycle and before long, we have a whole lot of time behind us and only a few years left in front of us and still we haven't found happiness.

This is probably the reason parents see fit whenever possible to offer sound advice to our teens and their friends or anyone for that matter that will listen. We don't want them to waste time chasing rainbows and instead treasure the time right there in front of them and stop worrying about things that will never change. We want to share our life experiences with them. I know I do that with my daughters and all their friends. I want to leave a lasting legacy and sometime in their futures, I want them to remember some piece of advice that they will recall came from me. It usually sounds like, "I sound like my mom!"

Years later I can still hear my mother's voice, see her warm smile and realize how often people really loved her. Her customers always used to tell me how lucky I should be and I never really accepted that until I was older and now have kids of my own.

I challenge you in the next upcoming week to review your life and see if you haven't been chasing some rainbows in your life and see if there aren't some changes you would like to make before it's too late. Perhaps it's finally time to dedicate your life to God and see what amazing things He has just waiting for you! Especially in these economic times of uncertainity, God is the only thing that is certain and never changing. Won't you give Him a try? What are you waiting for?