Ah Valentine's Day! A day full of the many opportunities to show your loved ones just how much you love them. Or is it?
I've thought back on Valentine's days from the past and have a wide variety of ways in which my perception of the holiday has changed as I've gotten older.
I remember being in grade school and getting a notice from our teacher about the upcoming Valentine's Day party at school. We were each provided with a list of all the children's names so we could work on our Valentine's at home. However during school that week, we got to decorate a shoebox for our mailbox to be used that day for all our friends to place their Valentine's in for each of us. I loved this time because I got to pull out all that red and white construction paper, and precisely begin cutting out the perfect heart shapes to glue to the box, along with laced dollies to add that perfect touch. We carefully wrote in white Elmer's glue our names along the top lid and sprinkled the still wet glue with glitter so that when it dried we had our Valentine's day masterpiece mailbox.
During lunch we all took the Valentines we had either made or purchased and carefully placed them into each mailbox for our class. Our bestest friends got the very best Valentine, along with some heart shaped candy, while the boys just got whatever we could put in a box for them. I remember quite fondly how excited I would be when I got home from school and could pull out my stuffed shoebox filled with colorful envelopes, covered with stickers and candy and read each and every single one. Oh to be so admired!
When I got older and boyfriends came into the picture, I would dream of just how he would plan this day. Would I receive flowers or chocolates? Would I get a handmade card or one he had stood in the aisle reading trying to find just that perfect one to describe all his feelings and undying love for me? I was fortunate to get a card and flowers, but the romance of all of it kept me living on cloud 9. It was a sign I was loved.
When I got married, Valentine's Day, were more challenging, dinner out or a home-made meal at home in front of a fire? Would I get a card, flowers, chocolate or something from the local jewelry store? Sometimes on rare occasions I would get all of them. Again these were signs for me, that he really and truly loved me.
When I was divorced and alone on Valentine's Day, it became the most despised day of the year. It was a reminder of just how alone I was with no one to show their love for me. While I went to work, I watched as countless women were called to come pick up a delivery of beautiful red roses in a shimmering glass vase, with cute stuffed bears and balloons attached. I hated Valentine's Day.
Yet it wasn't until I got older in my 40's that I began to see what this was for most men, a staged holiday to prove your undying love to your spouse or girlfriend. This was the biggest day filled with pressure for most men. If they didn't do something or do it right, they were bound to hear about it from the women in their lives. What I had failed to see all those years prior, was how many times on non-holiday days that my boyfriends or husband did something out of the ordinary to show his love for me. Shouldn't it be during those moments that I make the most big deal out of it, instead of waiting to see how he measures up to everyone else's man?
So I have let my hubby off the hook for Valentine's day. He knows that he doesn't have to do anything to show me his love. I see it when no one is looking, on those days where he comes home early and makes me dinner, or when I am sick and he cleans the whole house and waits on me hand and foot so I can stay in bed. There are even those moments when he calls out of the blue and tells me he loves me and can't wait to make it home to give me a giant hug, or leaves me a note in my car so when I am leaving to take the kids from work, I see how much love is in one little love note.
Yes, those days are the one's I celebrate and while the romance of Valentine's day lingers, I save it for the kids. I make pink cupcakes and cookies and help them print out all their Valentine's day cards for school. I help them make the most of their memories and teach them that you can show your love everyday, not just on one day in particular.
Happy Valentine's Day Steve, I love you! What was your most memorable Valentines day or how do you celebrate it now?
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