Did You Pack Your Angry Eyes?

I remember the movie Toy Story when Mrs. Potato Head is packing Mr. Potato Head up when he was leaving on a search for Woody and Buzz. She specifically wanted to make sure that she packed his "angry eyes" just to make sure he could express that emotion if he found himself getting angry.

Since most of you already know that I recently finished a book entitled, Fresh Start by Doug Fields about dealing with excess baggage we all have a tendency to carry with us throughout our whole lives.

Its not like any of us really want to either, it's just that we don't know how to deal with getting rid of it. I wish it were like baggage because I know despite airport security measures, we would leave that piece of luggage all by itself and never look back.

It is amazing to see just how far some of us have been carrying it too. I don't know about you but when I am planning a trip if I know I have to carry it, then I am packing really light. Less harder on your body especially if your luggage doesn't come with wheels.

Here is how to leave some of that angry baggage behind once and for all and how to learn to deal with it when you notice it's lingering again.

Ephesians 4:26-27 "Be angry, but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil."

Psalm 4:4 "Be angry, but sin not."

Did you catch those first two words from God?

Yes, it says be angry. God gave us anger for a reason but we are commanded not to sin while dealing with it. So when a situation has got us angry we have two choices to make; choose pain or peace.

Which would you rather have pain or peace? Most of us would willingly pass on the pain and go for the peace but since we don't know how to have peace when we are good and steaming mad, we opt for the pain.

Since we are all familiar with the pain, lets look at the peace part.

1. Don't deny it. Somethings wrong and it's okay to say that. Realize what is going on and that you are in the midst of anger.

2. Delay your anger. Put it on hold and say, "I could be wrong here, so let me think this through." You won't be able to deal with what is really going on while this controlling emotion is running your thoughts and actions. So this is a great time to step away from the situation to let that kettle of boiling water, cool off.

3. Define it, then give it to God. Anger is actually a secondary emotion, usually you feel some sort of hurt with it as well. It could be frustrations, disappointment, annoyance, betrayal, loneliness or even fear. You have to see beneath the anger, like pulling back the covers of a lumpy bed to see what is hiding beneath. If you don't, your just dealing with the emotion not is what is causing the pain.

Reflect before you respond. If you don't you will either live in denial, or discount your anger or blame others, or fall into the trap of being a victim.

4. Defuse the Situation ` Diffuse your Anger. Defuse means to remove the fuse from, like removing the fuse from a bomb. Diffuse is to pour out like a liquid, mixing in different actions that will produce peace.

A. Ignore a negative comment. Just walk away. This instantly makes the situation less harmful. You're not there!

B. Don't reply to a person's irritating email. All the words you probably think of are along the lines of jerk, burn in hell, idiot, stupid, nutball, fool, and toilet plunger. Choose, instead, godly silence - and hit Delete.

C. Back away, and don't pursue a fight, even though you know you're right.

D. Let that psycho driver go on down the freeway after he just cut you off. Face it: there will always be nutty drivers in the world. You don't need to teach every one a lesson.

E. Take a deep breath and say nothing when a harsh reaction begs to spill from your lips.

F. Go to the gym and work out your anger on the treadmill - even though you're angry as a hornet and would rather sting.

These are just a few samples of ways to defuse or diffuse the situation. How you choose to respond is entirely up to you. Once that anger is gone, now you can talk about what is really bothering you.