Monday, March 5, 2012

RIP Toshie Man - Prayers Needed!

Oh how I am so sad and melancholy today! It's been just 48 hours since the passing of our young cat, Tosh that died suddenly on March 3rd, my birthday of all days. While Facebook was supposed to make me feel better with all the updates of birthday wishes and blessings that day, it was a bittersweet day, one spent filled with tears and grief.

So how could this happen so unexpectedly and where were all the answers to the questions of why? Well let me go back and fill you in a bit more. This will also help when I need to look back on the day and hopefully not feel as sad and lonely as I do today.

We woke up Saturday morning at about 7:00am with my oldest daughter promptly waking us up to tell us that something was wrong with Tosh and that he wasn't moving. I vaguely recall hearing one of the cats meowing just before she came in and thought they must have had a conflict over something. We both raced out of bed to find him just laying on his side just inside her door, not moving at all. We called out to him and tried to revive him, tried moving his head or legs to see if perhaps he had had a stroke, but his eyes remained unmoving and his mouth was open. It was then that my husband noticed he wasn't breathing any longer. He tried to give the cat mouth to mouth while my daughter watched just crying, hoping that something might help. After a few moments, he said he's still not breathing and we both realized, he had passed away. The only thing I could think of as we continued to stroke his super soft fur was "Oh please no! Not Tosh!" The only thing I can think of is that he must have had heart failure because it was so sudden, even though he never had any breathing problems or was diagnosed at a young age.

I looked over to my daughter and sadly told her I believe he has died and watched her run down stairs to get her boyfriend and then the crying began for all of us. Our youngest daughter woke up to us all crying and we had to unfortunately tell her the same thing.

Oh what a day to begin with. We carried him downstairs and wrapped him in his favorite blanket and placed him in a box and buried him. The kids made memorials and brought him flowers. Even though I know he didn't suffer, doesn't make the loss any easier to bear. The only thing we know for certain, I believe, is that we will see him again.

I mean God created animals for us in the Garden and it certainly doesn't seem like he would allow them to die for us to never see them again. They certainly are his creation and I don't believe God would allow His creation to never exist again. God also went through the provisions of making sure that one of each animal would be allowed on the ARK even though he planned on destroying the world. He wanted them to gone on. That is my hope certainly and one I desperately cling to even today.

But for me, this is my first loss of a pet and definitely one I didn't see coming. I am grieving so hard for the cat who made my life a whole lot more richer just by him being here. Even at only 3, I have to hold on to the fact, I had him for 3 years to love and adore. He made our lives a better place by being in it. As a rescue kitten from the pound, he gave us all his unconditional love. He loved Johnson's baby lotion and if you put it on your hands, he would lovingly grab them and try to like and nuzzle your hands.

He was also fond of chocolate. He loved smelling it and we had to make sure at all costs, he didn't eat any, although he loved scooping them out of the candy dishes and even found him licking an M & M at one point. He loved to jump up on my vanity in the bathroom as I got ready for the day and loved for me to brush his face with the round brush. Not only that, each time we opened our mini blinds and curtains in our bedroom, he was the first to jump to the top of our headboard and check out the view til we were done.

He gave us his all every single day and now there is such an empty hole where he used to be. One of my Facebook followers commented that the hardest thing to do, is see where they used to sleep and realize they are not there. How true that statement is! We would find him sleeping on our loveseat on his blanket just looking out the window or curled up on my pillow on my side of the bed if you went looking.

If you called him, he would float down our stairs and wait for you on the landing. He loved to be outside, whenever we would take him out and let him wander in our back yard garden. He loved sleeping under blankets or simply lay in the windows.

Oh how I look around our house and feel the emptiness here. The worst part is our other cat Bella seems to be searching for him. They were as close as a brother and sister could be because we adopted them at the same time so they grew up together. You can almost sense her deep sadness and she has been meowing for him and searching for him under the blankets where he used to be.

So today I ask for your prayers for not only myself and our family but also for Bella, his sister that each day will find hope again and the sadness with gradually decrease. We've all been asking God for help during this time and it seems like He is silent even though I know deep in my heart He isn't. We need sleep and are plagued by the morning of his passing each night as we try to sleep. I am hoping it gets better and again thank you in advance for your prayers.

Rest in Peace, Kitty Soft Paws in Jesus' loving arms! You will be missed deeply!May you wander in God's heavenly gardens until we are all reunited one day!


NanaNor's said...

Hi Kat, Again I am so sorry for your loss. I always feel like this when we lose a dog. I just recently got some verses that lead me to believe we will see pets in heaven, He created them to be so important to us, why wouldn't they run free with the Savior. Sending love to you and yours.
Hugs & prayers, Noreen

Mari said...

I am so sorry to read this. We have lost a few pets and it's never easy. I agree with your thoughts on pets in heaven.
Praying for all of you.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Kat, I am so sorry for you loss. Pets are so special in our lives.
I have lost over six dogs in my life and it gets harder with each one. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. ((HUGS))

David C Brown said...

Sorry to hear it. I can only point you to my post today: whatever our affliction it is to work something in us.

Tausha said...

This is so sad, I'm so sorry Kat! I usually never post, but had to this time. I don't have any kids, but my cat and puppy are like my children - with their fun personalities, their smiles. I fall asleep to their breathing, so I can understand the pain your family must be feeling.
I really do believe that all animals will join us in heaven.
You'll be in my prayers!

Terra said...

Oh what a sad day, and it happened with no warning to a young cat. He was very beautiful and much loved. I read that when we enter heaven the pets we loved will greet us there and I like that idea.

Rita said...

Pets can become so much a part of your lives and it is so hard to let them go. I'm so sorry your kitty died on your birthday. Happy Birthday and sending you hugs today for your precious memories of your kitty!

Andrea said...

Oh, Kat....I am so sorry! Yes, I, too believe you will see him again. GOD is to come on a white horse...well, that confirms for me their are animals in heaven and why would they be...GOD created them! Know I am praying for both you and your family. Sharing helps others grieve and yes, we grieve deeply for our animals. They seem to have a profound way of revealing the unconditional love of Christ as they love us when we clearly are NOT lovable.

Love you...hugs,

Janet said...

My heart is hurting for you. We had to put our 16 year old cat down last July. We had her since she had been a kitten. And then just this January we had to put our 14 year old dog to sleep. My heart is still grieving but I do know one I day I will be reunited with them. I will keep you in my prayers.


ღ soraya ღ said...

nice post thanks for sharing...blessings