Thursday, September 30, 2010

Stormy Night


She sits in her bedroom staring out at the open window into the night sky. It's filled with clouds that make the sky look darker than it should be. A storm is coming.

The night remains a constant reminder of what her life has become at this point. She keeps the lights turned out, partly because it's easier to see the display of the storm in the clouds as they light up from time to time, showing a crack in the sky of the bright lights before the sound of thunder booms in the distance. Each time the sky lights up the storm grows closer.

The other reason for the blackness in her bedroom is because that is how she feels about her life. It's dark and void of all light and life. It matches her mood for the moment which is empty. Its also a way to hide the fact that once more she is alone again. The darkness provides a sense of escape. It's here that she can pretend that somewhere in her room she isn't alone. That someone is with her although they can't be seen.

Once again, she isn't forced to face the fact that she will go to be alone. No warmth on the other side of the bed. No tossing and turning or even the game of tug of war with the sheets. She places pillows on the bed to take his place. A reminder of just how big the bed really is when it's missing someone she's supposed to share her life with.

It's a reminder that he has chosen something other than her to fill his time with. His job, his TV programs, and even video games take her place. It places a certain amount of value on her even though it isn't what she wants to know. That she is alone. Again.

The lightening once more travels in its downward path and for one moment, her room lights up, but it's still just a reminder that what she believed isn't real after all. Her room really is empty and the only sound she continues to hear besides the thunder is the sound of the tears hitting her pillow. But at least here in the darkness no one can see her pain. And then the rain begins to fall.

12 comments:

RCUBEs said...

I'm seeing the lightning flashing right now followed by the loud thunder. I just came back from visiting a friend despite the stormy weather. On my way, I saw 2 rainbows.

Praying God's comfort and may His true promises remind us that His light is always present despite the heaviest storm. God bless.

Goose Hill Farm said...

Oh, how I love to be sitting outside on my sister's porch during a thunder and lightning storm. There is NOTHING like it!

Blessings~
Laura

Denise said...

Praying His love all over your precious life sweet sis.

Ann Nichols said...

Lighting storms are so amazing. But I was left feeling sad by this... "tears hitting her pillow" So sad...
May the love of God envelope her and everyone like her and let all people in this position know that they really aren't alone - ever.
Ann

Debby@Just Breathe said...

It was a beautiful storm last night. I haven't seen that many lighting stricks in a long time. It appeared to be right over your house.

Darcie said...

I think there was so many messages in this one post...and so poignant. I am hurting for "her", but hoping that she realizes that "she" is never alone. At least not in her relationship with her Heavenly Father.

wendy said...

No "thing" should ever replace the importance of a relationship.

no one likes the feeling of a "storm" in your life

Our7isheaven said...

I so love to sit outside on the porch and watch the lighting and hear the thunder crash. I especially love hearing the thunder in our area as it bounces of the mountains we are sourrounded by.

I really enjoyed your post, the storms of life come and go our friendships and relationships should grow stonger from them.

Gotta Have Faith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gotta Have Faith said...

Such a strong and hard point to read and understand. I know how much she needs her husband to be with her every night and wake up with her every morning! To be there and to take care of her not just physically, but spiritually and mentally as well.


Love!

Deborah Ann said...

That's beautiful. Did you write that? I feel exactly like that every night. Hubby works 3rd shift now, and I am so not liking it...

Sassy Granny ... said...

My husband and I have been together 46 years, and married for 44 years this November. His career has entailed LOTS of travel, and as a young woman it left me heartsick quite often.

That said, I have come to a place of peace with it; and actually enjoy a unique sweetness to spending nights alone with the Lord. It sounds so odd to even say (or write) that, but it's true.

Then, when hubby's home, I rejoice in our bonds, our friendship. We have a blast together, and I love him so - be he near, or far.

I love inclement weather too! I'm going to get a LOT of it here in WA State this Fall, and Winter, and Spring, and probably next Summer too. :)

Blessings,
Kathleen