Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Pain, E.R. Cysts, and Tumors, Oh My!


It is still dark out because when I open my eyes there is no light that I can see. It must be early in the morning, sometime before 5am.

I cringe and try to roll over to see if changing position will help alleviate the pain I feel. I adjust my pillow careful not to wake my hubby sleeping next to me. It's a work day for him and he needs every bit of sleep.

This weekend thanks to my early morning wake up calls he hasn't been getting to much sleep.

I lie awake in the silence waiting to see if this helps at all. I feel the sharp pain still in my lower left abdomen, the same pain that has been my wake up call for the last three days. I know if I don't take something soon, the pain will only grow and get much worse.

So I quietly reach out in the darkness to my end table on the right and feel blindly around for my all too familiar bottle of pain meds. I find them and carefully twist off the lid and tilt the bottle downward til I feel a pill fall into my hand. I make sure that there is only one and put the lid back on and set it back down on the table. I grab the glass of water that has been my constant companion for days and place the pill on my tongue before drinking the water. With any luck in about 30 minutes I should be pain free again.

This is the new normal part of my life. It had begun shortly after the birth of my second daughter, Kailee, where my monthly cycle became something to dread and countdown for each month. I had to know when they would come to make sure I was fully prepared to handle all that came with it.

Many women know what I am referring to, the dreaded period that comes to all women unless you have had a hysterectomy or yours are the dreaded curse each month. Mine comes with a vengeful curse, so I must carry a good supply of pain meds and a heat pack that I can microwave in about 2 minutes to get me through the tough 3 days each month.

However as I have gotten older, it comes every 3 weeks and those 3 days are days I spend curled up in a fetal position somewhere and cross my fingers they occur on a weekend where I can have hubby to help me. They are that bad. On a scale of 1-10, they are an 11 hands down.

However these pains were more severe and lasted way past my period. Still it isn't unheard of for me to feel my body going through ovulation since I was diagnosed three years ago with ovarian cysts on both of my ovaries so I can tell what my body is doing most days. Lucky me!

Still something wasn't quite right this time as I lay in bed cringing at the pain that is growing and isn't getting any better. It feels like I am being stabbed with a rusty, tin can against my will. This has become my routine now for 4 days. It began on Friday morning, when I could barely walk because of the pain and began to lose count of the number of Advil I had taken to combat the pain in my ab.

So after dropping the kids off for school that morning, I grabbed a heat pack and some Vicodin ES and laid on the couch. Oh how I wanted to call my hubby home to help, but realized how many upcoming projects he was slated to manage plus an onsite call in Los Angeles today. Just not a good day.

Thankfully when he called to see how I was, he could tell that if I was taking Vicodin, it wasn't going well at all and he made arrangements to come home. That is where it began. By the time he arrived home on Friday, with the heat and pain meds kicking in, I was feeling pretty good. So I slept most of the afternoon only to awaken four hours later with that familiar twinge of pain again, so I grabbed another Vicodin before it got too bad.

Steve and I talked about our options that day, doctors office wouldn't be able to do much since so many tests would need to be done before we had any answers, urgent care, same thing, and ER would result in a very long wait. So we opted to wait out the weekend and see how things looked on Monday.

So here I sit Monday morning in the dark, with tears streaming down my face, trying so hard not to let my hubby know how bad the pain is, when you want to scream at the top of your lungs because of the pain, but it won't do anything. So I wait, alone in the dark, wishing I could close my eyes like Steve and just fall back to sleep.

I can tell as the light begins to fall across our windows that morning is coming and of course, within minutes Steve's alarm goes off. I resolve to keep the kids home from school and head into the ER today to find an answer once and for all. As Steve watches me reach for more pain pills, he asks how bad is it?

I tell him it's worse than Friday and that I had already taken a pain pill but that it isn't helping. He insists he isn't going in to work but will take me to the doctors. Again we agree that since the pain is so bad, we will risk the long drawn out wait at the ER.

We tell our kids what is going on, and they happily agree to go back to bed since they aren't going to school that day. We head off to our ER and run the risk of the flu while going. I make sure I have plenty of antibacterial hand wash.

Good news the ER is pretty empty only one person there and she is called while we finish our paperwork. To make a long story short at this point, I find out nothing more than I knew 3 years ago. I still have cysts on my ovaries with the largest being on my left, which is where doctors think the pain is coming from.

I also have fibroid tumors on my uterius which could also be causing the pain. Diagnosis? Call my OB-GYN and follow up. I have more pain meds to take until I get that appointment and then I am discharged. Have a nice day!

At this point, I am still waiting to make a call to my OB-GYN because their phone lines have been busy all morning long. Bad news: pain meds are only for 20 pills and I have already taken 7 in the last two days. No refills.

So I wait and I cross my fingers that someone, somewhere can give me the answers I seek and finally get me some pain relief. So my dearest readers, that is where I have been since last week Friday. Laid up in bed, sick from all the pain meds, since they make me nauseated, and regulated by a clock to faithfully take them every 4-6 hours or be in pain so severe, I can't quite describe it.

Please pray for me, pray for pain relief at this point, so I can rest enough to allow my body to get well and heal. I love you all so faithfully!

47 comments:

skoots1mom said...

all my parts and cysts are now GONE...so thankful they could get rid of the pain and the anemia it caused me...praying you have quick resolve to your issues...i feel your pain

Parsley said...

Oh my dear friend. Prayers are your way.

Please be your on advocate and get any and all necessary medical intervention. Praying God will give the doctors wisdom and you healing.

SusanD said...

Kat, I'm glad you posted today. I was beginning to wonder about you since you hadn't posted since Friday. Lifting you up before the throne for relief and resolution. Blessings, SusanD

Thena said...

WOW!! I can't even imagine. Not for that length of time. I went to the ER with the same diagnosis about a year ago. But mine only lasted for a couple of days. I was put on HRT for a year because of extremely heavy and lengthy monthlys, then took myself off because of risks of breast cancer. I will be praying for you and put you on the prayer list on my blog.

Alleluiabelle said...

My Dear Sweet Friend,

It's amazing how God's timing is always so precise.

I haven't visited blogs lately because of my own maladies, but your blog is the first one I came to today and I am so thankful to Him for leading me here first.

You have my deepest empathy my friend. I've been where you are now. You name the gamut of female testing and I've had it done along with eventually the removal of everything. My uterus was so enlarged that they had to cut me from one side to the other in my lower pelvic area to remove it. I so feel your pain with you sweet sister and here is my prayer for you right now:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I lift up my sister Kat to you this very moment in time. Father, you know what she is going through and the extreme physical pain she has been enduring for so long.

Father, I pray for your divine intervention over this entire situation, your divine healing touch upon her, that the healing blood of Jesus Christ be poured down upon here from the top of her head to the souls of her feet. Wash her oh Lord, inside and out, inside and out with your healing blood. Cleanse her entire body with your healing blood and set her free from the physical pain that she has suffered with for so long and at the same time we stand firm in our faith, belief and on your word that by your stripes we are all healed, that the manifestation of total body healing is occuring, removing any signs of cysts or fibroid tumors that the doctors say are there. We ask for complete body healing in your holy name Jesus.

Oh Father, we love you, we praise you, we worship you, we glorify you, we adore you, we sing your name on high.

You are the Ultimate Physician and we look to you for your divine healing within Kat's body in Jesus precious name. Amen.

I love you dear friend. I will continue to pray for you and will make sure I keep checking back in here to see how you are doing. You have been so faithful in your prayers for me. I stand with you and every one here today praying for you dear one for you truly are a treasure.

God Bless You,
Love, {{{Hugs}}} & Prayers,
Alleluiabelle

Divine Mrs D said...

Oh no! Definitely sending prayers your way. I hope that you're feeling better soon.

Candee Fick said...

Adding my prayers to those already lifted. That you will find answers. That you can rest pain-free. That you will feel God's presence holding you in the palm of His hand.

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Sweet Kat - that's exactly what happened to me back in 1996 when I had my hysterectomy. I will pray for you right now my friend!

Lord, place your precious healing and comforting hand upon Kat right now. Give her rest and please relieve her pain. OH, precious Father, allow her body to heal and for the doctors to be able to diagnose and treat effectively.

Love you so Kat. Praying fervently.

Heckety said...

You poor thing, I am so sorry! Prayers winging heavenward and you KNOW prayers work.
Be sure many people are holding you up to God.

~Sandy~ said...

Oh Kat I am so sorry to hear about you. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I hope relief comes for you very soon.
I would keep going the doctors until they give you an answer,because pain is never normal. You are in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs)) Sandy

Beth E. said...

Bless your heart...I'm so sorry you are having so much pain! I, too, have had ovarian cysts. They are very painful.

I'm praying that you will be able to see your OB/GYN very soon, and get this taken care of.

Blessings,
Beth

Mari said...

Kat - I'm hurting for you, while reading this. My parts are gone because of fibroids and I don't regret it. I'll be praying for pain relief and answers!

3 Blessings said...

I am praying for you friend.
Blessings,
Amy

christy rose said...

Kat, I have thought of you several times in last few days. It is not like you to post or visit in that amount of time. For some, like myself, that can be normal. But, you are usually daily evident in the blogging community. I had a feeling something was not quite right. I lifted you up in prayer every time you came to my mind. I am so sorry to hear of your pain. I will continue to pray for you!
Love,
Christy

Denise said...

Bless your dear heart, I totally understand your pain. I had polycystic ovarian syndrome, fibroid tumors, and endometriosis. Ouch. But, after my total hysterectiomy in 2000, I am fine. Praying for you.

Sheryl said...

I am so sorry you're experiencing so much pain. I will pray for relief for you and wisdom for the doctors to find a speedy cause and plan of relief. Everything is in God's hands.

Again, I'm so sorry. ***Praying***

LV said...

Kat, I knew something was terribly wrong since you had not been on the blog. I have been thinking of you and wonder why such a wonderful person has to suffer so much. May the good Lord see fit to take away the pain and be his will heal you.

Coloradolady said...

I am so sorry to hear about how painful this last week has been for you....I know that story too well myself....If that part of my month would just stop all together, it would make things so much easier. I pray for the pain to lesson and hopefully, you can get in to see the dr. soon. Take care...I'm thinking about you!

Mich said...

You are in my prayers...

RCUBEs said...

So sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling well. Praying for you and with other sisters here. May the Lord guide the doctor who will treat you. I hope that the doctor or someone can refill your pain meds if ever you run out! God bless you sister Kat!

Wendi said...

Oh dear! Praying your feel better soon and that the doctor can keep this from happening again.

KrippledWarrior said...

Prayer in progress.

creative gal said...

Praying!!!

Migraine Mom said...

I am praying for you...well thoughts being sent your way...did you get the OB GYn appointment made?

Amy said...

Oh Kat, I hope you feel better soon and get the answers that you need. Get all the rest you can and I hope your pain goes away just as quickly as it came! ~Thinking of you! Focus on the Lord and His greatness! ~Amy

Just Breathe said...

I am praying for you. I am so sorry. I pray that this will be resolved, you can't continue to live that way. Please keep us informed if you can. If I can help you in anyway let me know.

Saleslady371 said...

I hope you can feel my prayers, dear one. I will continue and believe the Lord is touching you and healing you.

LeeAnn@Encouragement Is Contagious said...

Oh Kat, I've been wondering where you went! Oh my, I will be praying for you my friend and for that doctors appt with your OB-GYN specialist. Praying they won't just put a band aid on your pain, but will do what it takes to get you healed and over this for good.

My prayers are going up for you,
Lee Ann

He & Me + 3 said...

oh kat,

I am so sorry to read all of this. How awful. I will be praying. Get some rest and I am praying for answers.
Hugs,
Mimi

Just Be Real said...

((((Kat))))
Here listening dear...

Andrea said...

I am so sorry. Do not give in. You have waited long enough for answers. If this doctor does not give you the answers you need, seek another one and then another if necessary. Too many woman suffer because we think we have to. You should not be in this kind of pain regularly. I am storming the heavens on your behalf. Know we love you! I know that doesnt help the pain....but we do! and we are praying for you!
andrea

Edie said...

Oh Kat I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am praying now my friend.

Love you!

Catherine Anne said...

Prayers for you Kat~

Girly Muse said...

Oh dear Kat, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this! What a nightmare. Praying for you. Have missed you these last few days and have been so concerned about you!!! We all care about you...praying for God to lead you to the right doctors and give you a miracle.
Love you!

Raisingarrows said...

Oh, Kat! I am so sorry. Praying for you, dear.

Greg C said...

I am praying for you because I know what you are going through. Or I guess I should say that my wife knows what you are going through. She went through the same thing so after the birth of our second child she had a partial H and not only did the pain go away the monthy moods did as well. I hope you feel better soon.

Jane In The Jungle said...

Kat I will be praying for you! Hope the doctor and you can come to a solution!

Darcie said...

I am so very, very, very sorry for your pain...for the not knowing what is going on. That is so hard. Here is hoping that you will find out answers very quickly and that the pain will be gone.

Deborah Ann said...

Oh, Kat! I'm so sorry to hear this. You are in my prayers, dear heart! I will press in close to Jesus and ask Him to quickly heal you...

Kelly Combs said...

I am so sorry to read this post! I hope you will be feeling better soon. My sister also suffers chronic pain (different reason) and has recently begun seeing a pain specialist. It is really tough. I pray you both will soon be pain free.

Still Learning said...

Oh Kat, the minute I read this I stopped to pray for you. I will keep praying, I promise for healing & pain relief. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain!! I am so upset that there is nothing they can do for you. Surely there is something to help you? Agh. I wish I could drive over & do something to help you feel better... So I will pray to the one who can relieve it all. I will ask everyone at church to pray for you tonight too during prayer request time. Hope you begin to feel better soon.

Jennifer

HeartsMakeFamilies said...

Praying that you find the solutions that you need. Like skoots1mom, my parts and cysts are now gone as well. I felt your pain in your post.

I left you an award on my blog stop by when you get the chance.

I'm praying for you.

Carol said...

Kat,

I am so sorry for your pain and everything you are going through. I had no idea that you have been dealing with this for years. I am praying for you for answers and for healing, my friend.

Sending love and hugs,
Carol

E @ Scottsville said...

Goodness, Kat. I just read this post to "fill myself in" on what's going on. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Lifting you up to our Lord!

LV said...

I wish I had an answer for you. It sounds like you might need to find some new doctors. Seeing a doctor is becoming a very frustrating thing and still you may not be any better. I am no doctor, but surgery will probably be your only recourse. I ave a wonderful doctor. He is from India. I pray you will soon find a better solution to your problem.

Sammantha Marii Lillard said...

I hope you feel better Kat.
I've been praying for you.

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