Friday, January 4, 2013

What is Romance Anyway?

According to Webster's the definition of romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Yet when women claim they want more romance in their life just what are they alluding to? It's a questioned I have posed to my husband more than once over the almost 15 years we've been married. I'm the person in the relationship seeking more romance from my husband. Something I'm not sure he's able to pull off.

It got me thinking just why aren't men more romantic? Is it because the pursuit and acquisition of a wife are complete once they are married or is it that they are simply not programmed to be "romantic?" I guess in my search for answers the definition changes depending on who you ask even though Webster's definition can be open to who is interpreting it. Everyone has their own meaning of what it means to them.

For some, it's doing the little things and not the big ones that answers the question. Little love notes left, washing the car, filling the tank up with gas, or the occasional unexpected flower delivery fits the requirement. But what does it mean for me? I know for one thing, if I have to write out a list of the things that fit my definition of romance, and then he follows it, it's not romantic. I guess it has to be the things I talk about in the conversations we have at random. It could be that the mention of just how much I love the smell of a real Christmas tree over an artificial one could be taken as a clue. Or how much I love the Christmas season and how a home can never be over decorated, while it can be tacky. I've often mentioned that just once in my life, I want the Christmas Vacation house, just not the electric bill. I guess, romance in a sense comes from spontaneous desires mentioned when we talk. It's not so much that someone is diligently taking copious notes, while I'm speaking, but just seeing those desires manifested when you least expected let's you know that you are loved in the most unexpected ways.

The last thing I want to do is change my husband. I find that if he were to change to be in fact, more romantic, he may lose his charm that makes me love him each time I look at him. Romance also isn't something that needs to happen all the time. It's like great chocolate! Too much can literally make you sick and then you find yourself not wanting any chocolate for quite some time. It's just the way someone lets you know you are special, love, wanted and respected in small and sometimes big ways.

I love romantic picnic dinners to go at sunset on the beach. Just drive through and grab some take out for an impromptu romantic dinner overlooking the beach at sunset! It's making you breakfast in bed when you are literally too tired to do one more thing for anyone in your home again. It's a clean home with nothing to do. It's rose bushes planted instead of flowers delivered so they bloom all year long. It's taking something you said in passing and making it happen instead. That's why lists will never get the desired results when men follow them to the letter. Yet I am curious to know just what is your definition of romance and how do you find time for it?

Leave a comment below and let me know. I'll keep you posted how things are going!


Melissa said...

Wonderful post! =)

I agree, Romance should be in the everyday things,...helping each other when you can and caring for each other is awesome!

Denise said...

Romance is being with the one you love, and doing nothing, feeling great about it. Just snuggling, and being yourself.

David C Brown said...

"Ye husbands likewise, dwell with them according to knowledge, as with a weaker, even the female, vessel, giving them honour, as also fellow-heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered" 1 Peter 3: 7. Romantic? or better than romantic?