Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like. Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like. Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Bless you, I really needed to laugh today. I love you.
ReplyDeleteKat, thanks for the grins. My favor4ite is "EARTH FIRST" we'll log the other planets later.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the laugh. Some excellent points! Love the bears.
ReplyDeleteWaahahahaha! I'm practicing my MyADHDMe bloggy belly laugh. I laughed out loud at several of these! They are excellent!!
ReplyDelete#6. had to read it 5 times, then I laughed- 1/2 people you know are below avg. Which proves that:
#7. ..who laughs last is slower..applies directly to me. :)
#9. 2nd mouse gets cheese/trap- love it.
#16. This has happened to me in real life- very scary- many cars coming at you- not good.
#21 getting scared 1/2 to death twice- that is grrreat! I'm going to have to pass these on to my father, the jokester
Thanks, Kat!
Heidi@ 2 Thinks to Share
Hey Kat,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed my visit as always. I think it was #7 about laughing last being the slowest? Well I think that explains why I normally don't get the jokes first! (smile).
Love you!
Ha!! These were really fantastic!
ReplyDeleteThese are hilarious! I loved #2,3,5,6...I was laughing out loud. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeletethanks for the smiles...
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny...I would go on and on if I were to write what I thought was the funniest!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kat, for being kind enough to stop by and say hello...it has taken me get over here, but I do appreciate you. I do realize that you do not lack for comments on your blog. ☺
♥Hope
Thank you so much for all of your very clever "Friday Funnies". I totally agree with #23. My new laptop is here, check out my post for today. Also, I have your poem done and hope to post it either later tonight or tomorrow. If you would like to see it before I post, just let me know in a comment or e-mail me at patjoyhome@vnet.net. Have a splendid weekend.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless,
Mimmy
I love #16...need to remember to change lanes when that happens. Thanks for the laughs. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteOh, those are GREAT, Kat! Totally enjoyed those. =0)
ReplyDeleteThanks for brightening my day.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, andrea
PS: I have an urgent prayer request on arise 2 write.
Everytime I read this I smile...my favorite, the early bird might get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I needed that laugh...thanks!
ReplyDeleteKat, Hope you have the best weekend. Enjoyed your post. Blessings,
ReplyDeleteThat was so funny!! I am number 18 fer sure!!! Too good. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs. Those are very funny. I loved that half the people I know are below average. : )
ReplyDeleteOhmigosh! I'm laughing by butt off! What an awesome way to start the day, hehe.
ReplyDeleteHahahha!! This was funny. The last one was great.
ReplyDeleteElle
#8 is my favorite :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs~
These are too funny! Where did you get them from? Some of them are sooo true!
ReplyDeleteI pray that you're doing well. As you know, I haven't been able to visit my bloggy friends as much since I've been back to work. But you all are never far from my thoughts and prayers!
Love and Hugs, Leslie
Come on over, I have an award for you.
ReplyDeleteThis was great......I was due to have a giggle today! :)
ReplyDeleteOkay that save the whales started me off! How funny!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the giggle Lxx
ReplyDeleteHahahaha, Great funnies. I needed that on this Monday morning. But more than half the people I know are below average. Figure that one out, haha.
ReplyDeletewonderful collection!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! These were great!
ReplyDelete6. You got me on this one. Darn!
24. I can relate to this!
26. Hearty laugh to end the list.
You are cracking me up. And I needed it. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThese are great Kat!!! It amazes me how people come up with these kinds of things:)
ReplyDelete"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened."---That is so true!!!!
ReplyDeleteThese were funny!